Junk Juggling Juicer Gets His Rocks Off Posting Racist Rants, Harassing Women And Threatening To Diddle Kids, May Be The Most Hated Troll On The Internet, As Bristol Got Dragged In To His Weird Troll War, Is Inexplicably Allowed To Coach Kids In Easton

Junk Juggling Juicer Gets His Rocks Off Posting Racist Rants, Harassing Women And Threatening To Diddle Kids, May Be The Most Hated Troll On The Internet, As Bristol Got Dragged In To His Weird Troll War, Is Inexplicably Allowed To Coach Kids In Easton



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**This has been updated to reflect a false article sent to me as part of some weird troll war Lozzi is involved in, because apparently faking rape charges is something people do in his circle.

I don’t think it’s any secret that I don’t shy away from controversy online. Especially on the Brockton Hub. I love instigating people in the Hub – it’s a guarantee that trolling a reaction there will yield gloriously butthurt results. But even I have limits and rules, because enthusiastic trolling is one thing, and being a complete racist entitled asshat is quite the other. With that, let me introduce you to the biggest racist asshat and steroid enthusiast on the Hub, and quite possibly the internet, Chris Lozzi.


Outside of jamming enough needles full of anabolic steroids in his ass to shrivel even the most robust testicles to raisins and posing for photos with extremely uncomfortable young girls, Spray tanned Lou Ferrigno also enjoys infecting the internet with shit like this.


Wow, Chris. You’re so edgy and cool. Much better than everybody else, and I bet your penis is HUGE. Nothing says “limp 2 incher you couldn’t get up with a defibrillator ” quite like announcing the whole freakin’ Brockton Hub how you are a member of the “Master Race” and then proceeding to argue and whine like a little bit to the inevitable hoards of people who disagree, most likely because it’s coming from a chudstuffer who looks like Hulk Hogan’s retarded half-brother. And hey, Chris? Here’s a tip. If your penis envy drives you to try so hard to prove your own superiority…



….Maybe don’t insinuate you’re going to diddle a stranger’s kid. You fucking bitchtits sick pedo.

Originally I had been sent an article alleging this douchenozzle had raped an inmate years ago. I ran it, and later found out the source was some chud named Gary Dunn who also has no code. Making me wonder if Gary has his own repressed homosexual urges and penchant for juiced up assholes slathered in self tanner.

Shitty on my part for just running it. Guess all the turkey made me lazy. Even shittier on you, Gary Dunn. I will have fun exposing you.


Still doesn’t fully exonerate Chris, though. He enjoys making shit up, too. He’s just less convincing. He’s an intelligent, respectable and upstanding pillar of society who enjoys the finer things in life, like abusing children, juicing,  racial intolerance and harassing random women online while sounding like a complete fucking moron.


He’s become super well liked online due to his sparkling personality and ruddy-orange complexion, too. Which is probably why people go to such lengths to make him look even worse than he is.


Good question. Lozzi likes to charade around like a tough guy, but he definitely fears the turtle, seeing as how as soon as I announced my presence in the comments, he turned off commenting to his post and ran and hid like the cowardly cunthair he obviously is.


What a charmer. Inexplicably, though, it looks like Chris “I love juices in my ass” Lozzi is also coach Lozzi, for Easton’s Pop Warner team, the Tigers.


Which is a great idea, because he totally seems like who you want in charge of your young children unsupervised. It would sure be a shame if Easton Pop Warner’s Facebook page was flooded with comments about how unsafe this boner fluffer is to be around children, women and generally anything with a pulse. A real shame indeed.


Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Especially to you, Lozzi. Please know that you bring shame and humiliation to everyone sitting across the table from you today. And please try to keep your dick out of the turkey. And Gary Dunn – you’re next. We are not your personal army.

39 Comment(s)
  • Where's the followup article, Bristol?
    November 28, 2018 at 11:55 pm

    Still waiting.
    Put your money where your mouth is if you want the Turtle to be seen as factual and “not mean spirited”.

    • Bristol Turtlechick
      November 29, 2018 at 10:04 am

      Trying to vet the next one better, it’s not usual of me to run something later determined to be a hoax. As far as “Not mean spirited”, I’m mean. No pretenses there. I’ve apologized to Lozzi 4x now. Considering that “article” has existed on the internet for years, and circulated heavily a few years back, I’d hardly say I ruined his reputation. If I was unrepentant I wouldn’t have corrected it – I definitely fucked up. But I’m not going to take this down, because 1. I still think the guy is a douche, 2. I’m not going to just “erase” evidence of my fuck ups and hope people forget. That’s fucking cowardly. I fucked up, I corrected it, I own it. End of story. Gary Dunn is proving to be elusive on the interwebs, but I WILL fucking find him. And I will write about it when I can fully confirm everything I’ve dug up thus far – because some of it’s on Lozzi, too. Like it, hate it, doesn’t keep me up at night.

  • TB Dick Rider
    November 28, 2018 at 4:40 pm

    Leave this guy alone, TB. All he did was troll on the Brockton Hub? Thats what that dumpster fire page is for. We all do it. 90% of Brockton is on welfare and da stamps anyway, so this dude is speaking truth.

  • Excuse me, Ms. Bristol,
    November 27, 2018 at 12:36 am

    Have you apologized to Mr. Lozzi yet?
    Didn’t see this on the agenda for the TB live this week, either.
    Maybe you should pay a penance on your knees. Swallow your pride, ya know?
    You can call it investigative reporting because you were checking his junk to see if he really is a peanut pud roid boy as you had alleged. That would be some solid journalism (or j’ism, for short).

  • WeAreFukd
    November 26, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    Confused… not a single reference to “Master Race” but there is a story of a guy who was telling it just like I would to Clive at the T&G.
    The pictures of his kids or with some kids?
    Is that necessary?

    Yes, the story of the girl being sore is off-the-wall and demands his shaming. But what else?

    He has a small dick, that’s all that I can get from this story that might be true.

  • Judge Kavanaugh
    November 24, 2018 at 11:28 am

    Accusations against corrections officers and men in general are a dime a dozen. How would like to be publicly judged by an unproven accusation from career criminals? With no evidence or due process?? Now there’s a pedo accusation… get real man.. that’s a low blow.

  • I support Chris Lozzi TBS got this one all wrong
    November 24, 2018 at 11:14 am

    Never heard of this guy Chris Lozzi but I agree with everything he wrote. He addresses personal responsibility and owning your choices in life. He doesn’t say anything racist or criminal, he is speaking truth to the PC Crowd and professional victims who don’t want to hear it.

    Doesn’t matter how much steroid drugs a person takes, you don’t develop muscles like that without daily hours of hard work in the gym, pain, patience, self discipline. Yes he’s over the top and probably obnoxious but nothing close to what this article tries to portray him as. I’m glad Mr. Lozzi is confronting the criminal, addict, welfare class in Massachusetts.

    Again I couldn’t find one instance where he was wrong or even rude compared to most internet flame battles. Rock on Mr. Lozzi!

  • Own it
    November 24, 2018 at 8:39 am

    The correction doesn’t change anything. Maybe take the whole story down and apologize to the guy for it. When your wrong you gotta own it. And who is Ingrid, did you happen to look into that? Is she his niece? And was the comment really meant to be sexual? Because I really don’t think it was. Awful thing to do to someone. Should really do the right thing and remove it.

    • bowel
      November 28, 2018 at 3:24 pm

      Thanks Chris…how exactly have you been confronting the criminal and addicts in MA and what does one have to do with the other? Also, enough with the “likes” I have never seen a comment “liked” 43 times on this site….your over doing it.

  • Family planning clinic
    November 24, 2018 at 12:31 am


    I operate a family planning clinic. We operate free of charge. You know how we family plan? Kastration will an ak47 bayonet.

    I look forward to providing you with our services; they are free of charge.

    • This douchenozzle right here...
      November 27, 2018 at 12:53 am

      There’s always one bitter ex con in the crowd.
      Your post is shit, boy. Same as your life.

  • John Gilbonnie
    November 23, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    As i was reading this and trying to follow the story, i realized that i couldn’t actually follow and could give a fuck less who this dick is or why he is being blogged about. Still trying to find the racism in all this. I know you are a self admitted moon bat, bristol, but i like the shit you write, just not this one.

  • Loyal Fan
    November 23, 2018 at 1:35 pm

    Really really really bad job on this one. Instead of updating this it should just be removed. Everyone makes mistakes and this is a big one So unlike Turtleboy to report on something that was not looked into or even seems true. Even an apology would make it better.

  • Just saying
    November 23, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    Love TBS but why can’t anyone else pull up that article about him being accused of rape? That is what is troubling everyone. We trust you when you say you check the facks but something with this one don’t add up.

  • Rod Gozinya
    November 23, 2018 at 12:32 pm

    Mixed feelings on this one, not “Turtle Boy worthy” enough to smash a guy on here who apparently isn’t guilty of any crimes and at most exercises incredibly poor judgement on social media….

  • just me
    November 23, 2018 at 12:10 pm

    TB says this guy wrote about the “Master race”, which was actually in quotes, but I did not see him say that in any of his posts.

    • Daily Reader
      November 23, 2018 at 12:22 pm

      TBS dropped the ball on this one. Why the hatred of this guy? Entire story is made up and this is unlike anything we’ve seen here. This is actually troubling for your loyal readers. What gives? You should address this sooner rather than later.

      • Bristol Turtlechick
        November 23, 2018 at 1:15 pm

        If you read the updated article w/ correction, I did address it. It was a hoax article sent to me, part of some weird hub troll war. Guy’s still a massive douche for threatening that kid, though.

        • You had best unfuck yourself, BC
          November 23, 2018 at 11:38 pm

          If you’re going to issue a correction, why not edit the title or, even better, make a separate post addressing the hoax? Better to nibble on a nugget of shit than to get served a banquet sized portion like you’re being force fed right about now. Makes 2 girls, one cup look like an appetizer ad.
          A hub douche got over on you but you know well enough to use your google fu powers before ripping someone up, doucheroid or not. It’s not like the Brockton Hub isn’t a target rich environment with all the trolls and professional victimhood going on but you had to go with this guy?
          Do the right thing without any slant or bias, Ms. Journalist.
          Oh yeah, what he wrote in that one post wasn’t racist but was addressing racism. Slight difference.

        • not even close to unfucked, BC
          November 24, 2018 at 2:19 am

          I see the inserted disclaimer unnoticeably squished into the article title.
          Yeah, that ain’t the ticket, missy.
          Do a followup mea culpa article and do a separate presentation to shame this Gary Dunn character once you get some solid intel on him or her. Not some bubbling, gelatinous and malodorous queef discharge but verifiable info.
          I can drop three names from the hub and at least one will lead back to Dunn. You could too but you wouldn’t want to out your liberal allies, even if they did use you like a cumsock after a youporn bingewatch.

        • I’m not saying it was aliens
          November 25, 2018 at 10:37 pm

          I see what you did here. You realize the article titles are so terrible we basically breeze past them and threw your excuse in there. And it’s a piss poor excuse- that you take no ownership in. You are almost as bad as Manch. 

  • Burt Hurtensteiner
    November 23, 2018 at 9:32 am

    Where is the “racism”? (Serious question.

    • Jack Straw from Wichita
      November 23, 2018 at 11:10 am

      I had the same exact question. Guy looks like a condom filled with coconuts, but I didn’t see anything racist in his comments. Guy could be just another Turtleboy blogger….

  • Idk
    November 23, 2018 at 8:54 am

    The only thing I could find about this guy was PDF file from Bridgewater ma corrections that he retired. I typed into google…. Bridgewater Ma, police say they arrested a state corrections officer wanted in connection with the rape of a inmate who was taken to the hospital back in May
    The corrections officer 49 year old Christopher Lozzi,,,
    Which is just what was written in the article and nothing at all came up. Weird

  • Nurse Ratchet
    November 23, 2018 at 7:52 am

    Is this the biggest bunch of bullshit ever put on here? This didn’t happen at all. Someone has a vendetta against this guy and used Turtleboy too do their dirty work. Richard Vulva Esq is going to have his hands full on this one.

  • Smells like bullshit
    November 23, 2018 at 5:31 am

    I think someone fed TBS a line of shit on this one.
    If someone has a link to a court record, civil service proceeding or news article, put it up.
    I couldn’t find a thing in the googleverse of info.
    The story was pretty sketchy, as if a con would wait for the relief to say something as opposed to telling a nurse. Sounds made up by someone with no actual experience in how hospital details are conducted but some expertise in gay erotic literature.
    I can’t and won’t go into operational details but this story has huge holes in it.
    Maybe a hubster troll got one over on the turtle.
    If it does prove to be false, do the right thing and put it out there with as much gusto as this was presented and shame the troll responsible for it.

  • detect
    November 23, 2018 at 4:26 am

    He sounds like any of the racist internet tough guys that post comments in here on any given day.

    • unseen
      November 23, 2018 at 6:11 am

      Continue posting as much and as often as you want. Your input is welcome. How’s the weather in your area?

  • Bob
    November 23, 2018 at 2:28 am

    Wow, based on his comments, I thought that he was a writer for Turtleboy

  • Sup wid dis?
    November 23, 2018 at 12:42 am

    Didn’t see any racism at all. Also don’t believe this guy raped a patient because it would have been all over the news. Always seems that Turtleboy did its homework before a story was put out. What gives?

  • Confused at This One
    November 23, 2018 at 12:27 am

    I can’t find anything about this guy raping anyone let alone an inmate. Is someone mixing this guy up with another person? I can’t find anything at all about any CO raping a male inmate at all. Was the Turtle hacked? Just doesn’t add up Maybe someone else will be able to find it and correct me

  • Bob Murchison’s Bulging X-Ray Eyes Are Staring At Your Package
    November 22, 2018 at 10:33 pm

    Does anybody have Chris Lozzi’s number? Asking for… my “daughter”.

  • Analmale Planet
    November 22, 2018 at 9:49 pm

    He got bit by a gay bat and has gaybies

  • Put it in me coach
    November 22, 2018 at 9:25 pm

    Did he include the part about tossin a mental patients salad on his resume for the coaching job?? Sandusky would be proud………..

  • Y
    November 22, 2018 at 8:52 pm

    Lou Figueroa or Lou Ferrigno?

  • Larry Craig
    November 22, 2018 at 7:50 pm

    Not sure I caught the racism in his post. He spouts the classic reverse racism talking point (which is actually pretty accurate). Ourside if that this guy is clearly ashamed of his gayness so compensates by being a complete douchebag sauce monkey and waste of oxygen.

  • Silence Dogood
    November 22, 2018 at 7:39 pm

    Nothing he wrote was racist…. I’m going to chalk this poor article up to it being Thanksgiving and the real writers took a day off This was an article written out of personal animosity, not objective journalism.

  • Clitty Litter
    November 22, 2018 at 6:27 pm

    He has The gay.

    • A Homosexual Bat
      November 22, 2018 at 9:52 pm

      I bit him and now he has gaybies

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