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Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.
We’ve got an update on the Malden Meth Muppets who “found” the Red Sox AL East banner on the side of the road in Somerville and held it for ransom so they could use the cash to pay for Diego the friendly neighborhood heroin dealer’s kid’s to go to college. According to the Boston Globe they were accused of stealing it (just like anyone with a brain knew they did), the Red Sox refused to give them shit, and they ended up returning it anyway because they likely realized that advertising on the News that they were selling back stolen property to the Red Sox was the latest bad idea they’d concocted while listening to bootleg rap music at Green Park.
Nevertheless, we hereby formally invite both Jez “the jizz puppet” Amaral and Louie “get the girls woozy” Iacuzzi to come on Turtleboy Live this Saturday night for the return of Clarence Woods Emerson from 30 day suspension. We would love to hear their version of the story and give them a chance to set the record straight and really give us a piece of their mind. Because it looks like Jez isn’t happy that their 15 minutes have come and gone:
And the North Shore GED Express was out in full force to defend the meth muppets’ honor…..
Bro, I don’t talk online. I just post shit 24/7 when I’m not in the studio working on my latest rap album and celebrating 48 hours of sobriety.
Once he gets that address shit’s gonna be on.
Joey Joe Joe here is apparently under the impression that we reported him to the Facebook police?
Proving once again that everything on the Internet is Turtleboy’s fault.
Then there’s Danny Knight….
Add Malden to the list of many, many places Turtleboy is banned from for fear of getting smacked by a meth muppet like this:
Although according to William Walsh Voiceovers it’s disputed that Louie and Jez are in fact meth muppets…..
Yea guys, just because someone’s on methadone doesn’t mean they’re a meth muppet!!
The only one in the crew I’m not fucking with is Victoria….
I’m not fucking with her. I know better than to grapple with an Everett broad whose got plastic AND paper bags under her eyes.
That lady’s seen some shit.
Not sure if this is JFK the rapper, or he’s here to defend some other north shore skagrag, but this might be the greatest sentagraph ever:
He’s evidently been messaging anyone who shared the blog to let them know that the government is surveilling them using the Patriot Act….or something?
Anyway, if you need Jez he’ll be doing what he always does – chillin at Green Park listening to JFK.
Hit us up Jez. We’d love to have you and Louie on the show Saturday night. You won’t.