Hoodrat Heroes

Masshealth Mongrels Celebrite New Bedford Pride Week By Kicking The Shit Out Of Each Other After Uncircumcised Pork Dumpling Throws Object At Puerto Rican Nathan Phillips’ Face

 

This is what the Pride parade looks like in New Bedford:

And that right there is why New Bedford can’t have nice things. Only in New Bedford can an entire street full of people simultaneously and instinctively start a hundred person brawl without a single punch actually being landed. I’m not a anthropologist or anything, but I’m pretty sure there were exactly zero Port-a-gee at that Day of Portugal Festival. Although I did love the outfits.

Puerto Rican Nathan Phillips, a single Mom (probably) with a LOVE shirt, the only guy left in the world who still wears cargo shorts, and a pork dumpling dressed like an uncircumcised penis. If that’s not a New Bedford barbershop quartet I don’t know what is.

PR Nathan Phillips wasn’t backing down so the uncircumcised pork dumpling threw what appeared to be a water balloon directly at his face.

Can’t forget your water balloon for the Portugal Festival.

At that point everyone kind of just looked at each other for the briefest of moments realizing what had to happen next.

And without hesitation or any words being spoken every Masshealth mongrel in the vicinity immediately began throwing haymakers at whoever was standing next to them, because it’s summertime in New Bedford and there are no rules.

Then this mofo in the foreground appears with what appears to be a hammer, watching over it all while thinking about how Portugal Festival’s of yesteryear.

Perfectly normal.

Looked like the cops had trouble dispersing the crowd, but all they really had to do was yell, “I got job applications” and they all would’ve done the hoodbooger half marathon back to their section 8 slug fortresses.

 

Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:




Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

37 Comment(s)
  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    June 11, 2019 at 10:56 am

    New Bedford is the Mexican border of Massachusetts.

  • Pray For a Mass Parasite Die Off
    June 11, 2019 at 9:50 am

    Henry Kissinger had a name for this crowd: “Useless Eaters”.

  • Roger
    June 11, 2019 at 7:41 am

    That would have been the perfect opportunity to just wipe out half of the welfare recipients in Massachusetts. …next month we would have had the funds to fill in all the potholes in the state! Win/win

  • TheDad
    June 11, 2019 at 6:37 am

    Wait …. cargo shorts are out now?? Since when??

    • Siskel
      June 11, 2019 at 9:19 am

      Fucking savages. Just a group of uneducated lumps of shit living off the system. This is what Ebola shit looks like. BTW, what’s with the hoodie? It’s been 80 degrees for the last fucking week.ge must smell awful

  • Free Range Ghetto Bison
    June 11, 2019 at 2:14 am

    Add up all the IQ’s of that crowd and you’ll still be in the single digits. EBT worth is well over $200K however, it’s Mass it’s what we do, breed perfection.

  • ANGRY GIANT
    June 10, 2019 at 9:43 pm

    It’s better than Mogadishu. There’s no EBT in Mog… in New Bedford, a fella can collect in Massachusetts and Rhode Island……

  • whatevuh
    whatevuh
    June 10, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    Only hood boogers would wear a hoodie on a 80 degree day, what a bunch of low class sewer guppies, nuke the place and put an end to it

  • Rowdy Roddy
    June 10, 2019 at 7:57 pm

    i still wear cargo shorts. wtf?!?

    • Jeff J
      Fashion backward
      June 10, 2019 at 9:08 pm

      Me too wtf……they still sell em in all the stores. I had no idea they were so “uncool”. Oh well…..

      • Stylin and profilin
        June 11, 2019 at 9:05 am

        You have to wear the shorts. You can’t let the shorts wear you. More pockets equals more confidence. Cargo shorts tell the world that you like comfort but you’re willing to carry MREs and a muli-tool, just in case. Plus they go well with all terrain sandals.

    • Mom's Basement
      June 10, 2019 at 10:10 pm

      They turn you into a Swiss Army knife. That’s good for people who like to be productive. I like them as an alternative to the synthetic nba knockoffs that turn your junk into a fungus incubator on humid days.

  • SUCKITTREBEK
    June 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    throw some of those new fangled congo eblola migrants in there.

  • Raining on our parades
    June 10, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    Dude with the hammer no doubt was on his way to work. This parade reminds me quite a bit of the annual strolling of the heffers parade in Brattleboro VT. The cows in that parade have been pretty much over shadowed by the countless freaks, junkies and section 8 shitbags.

  • bigdaddy
    bigdaddy
    June 10, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    Videos like this should be a regular segment on the Animal planet channel

  • Christopher Lettiere
    June 10, 2019 at 4:14 pm

    #BuildTheWall

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Liawatha
    June 10, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    My great friend, the real Nathan Phillips, along with his drum, would have resolved this situation before anyone resorted to violence.

    • ncfoothillbilly
      June 10, 2019 at 5:25 pm

      He didnt want to work, he just wanted to bang on his drum all day.

      • Y
        June 10, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    • Captain Trips
      Fat Albert's Friend Mushmouth
      June 10, 2019 at 6:43 pm

      Liz bee Warren bee

      Youze bee can kiss bee my big bee black ass bee

  • Said Everyone
    June 10, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    But God forbid they stop having these shit festivals. Nothing good ever comes out of these. I don’t care what it’s for. Pandering politicians afraid to dictate common sense

    • Christopher Lettiere
      June 10, 2019 at 4:20 pm

      Pandering, you mean like Kamala saying she smoked weed while listening to Tupac on a predominately black radio station, or like Hilary saying she keeps Hot Sauce in her pocketbook (at same radio station), or like AOC talking like she’s black (she’s hispanic), OR like Mayor Pete drinking 40 ounces w/the brothers???

      • Merica
        June 10, 2019 at 4:29 pm

        Exactly brother

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Springfeel
    June 10, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    Remember Big Dan’s? That was in New Bedford. I smelt the felt at Big Dan’s. Oh Yeah.

  • Irish Mafia
    June 10, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    What the fuck is “Celebrite”? Spell check your shit before you start insulting the world… dumb ass North Shore Turtlecunt.

    • The Common Man
      June 10, 2019 at 5:33 pm

      You can take the news business away from the journalist but you can’t take the journalist out of the person. Nice Try Kevin Cullen I know that’s you. Only you would be duchey enough to correct spelling on a comment section where most of us get burned by auto correct on our phone. Most damning is the use of the name “Irish Mafia”. We already know how much you romanticize the local Irish Mafia and how much you wish you where one of the characters in the movies based on them.

      I’m surprised you have time to read turtle boy when you’re spending so much time walking the streets for your next story.

      • Irish Mafia
        June 12, 2019 at 12:44 pm

        “…how much you wish you where one of the characters in the movies” What the fuck are you saying Common Ass? Wish you WHERE??? Are you the guy who fucked up memorial tattoo? It’s WERE. Dumb ass

    • Captain Trips
      Fat Albert's Friend Mushmouth
      June 10, 2019 at 6:46 pm

      Heys bee Irish bee dick bee

      Youse can suck bee my big bee black bee dick bee

  • Christopher Lettiere
    June 10, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    Why is there a naked man in the crowd, and how wasn’t he arrested?

    • Pride Day
      June 10, 2019 at 3:56 pm

      Sodomy in the streets sanctioned by the Democrat party is the answer.
      Like Roman times, America is on the down slope. Every great nation that embraced debauchery has fallen.

      • pontiff
        June 10, 2019 at 9:38 pm

        Pride Day, you have erectile disfunction. When that happens, there is no other way to cope. Everyone enjoys the bliss of fucking. You can’t enjoy that bliss. You’re physically incapable. The sting is real.

    • Lily White
      June 11, 2019 at 7:58 am

      LOL Thank you for pointing out the obvious naked guy. That and “I have job applications” were the funniest part of this article.

  • hartf811
    Dont knock
    June 10, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    Ribeira Grande on the Taunton River! Too bad the USS Massachusetts can’t move her guns to level the entire shithole.

  • Daniel Sullivan
    Dan Sullivan
    June 10, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    Lmao. Yup either yell “I’ve got job applications” or “We’re hiring” or my favorite is “and the DNA test results are in”. Lol. Fucking scrams!

    • bigdaddy
      bigdaddy
      June 10, 2019 at 3:57 pm

      or yell “ICE is here”

      • Christopher Lettiere
        June 10, 2019 at 4:04 pm

        La Migra, La Migra!

        • Ice Is Nice
          June 10, 2019 at 4:13 pm

          He should have played Ice Ice baby on the radio as he pulled up to the building.

Leave a Reply to Said Everyone Cancel reply

*

RELATED POSTS
All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It