Hoodrat Heroes

Meet the New Bedford Foodstampoptamai From Yesterday’s Free My Boi Video: They Are Everything You Thought They Would Be AND MORE! 

Sweet baby cheesehogs! This one actually got crazier!

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So you all caught the gem from our friends at the New Bedford Guide yesterday.

Rare Breed Of Pajama Clad Foodstampotamus Spotted In New Bedford Yelling “Free My Son N Word” As Career Criminal Gets Arrested For Selling Drugs With Toy Guns


Two Foodstampopotamai hanging out the windows of a second-story window screaming,” Free my son, N—a!” This, of course, all happened while the police arrested the kid we thought they were flipping out about.

Turns out that they had absolutely nothing to do with the arrest of Rafeal Vega. Of course it didn’t! It’s New Bedford. They were actually screaming for the release of this fine specimen who stabbed a guy when his dog shit near his house.


Lenine dindu nuffin, while the dog in question, dindu doodoo. Everyone is innocent in NB! Which is probably why the community newspaper claps back!

I just love the guys that run that paper. They have the best sense of humor.

It took next to no time for girlfriend Amanda Parvo, who was NB famous for a hot minute, when she ran away from home a while back, to admit that she was she one in the video. Turtleriders figured out the mom seconds later. The profiles are everything you thought they would be an more.

(SEE? PCA!) Elizabeth is the mother of the year. She has this uncanny ability to look like a bingo-winged thug in almost all of her photos. You can almost hear her grunting, like an EBT-sniffing truffle hog, while in her natural habitat.

“I’ve seen better legs on a discarded table,” said Turtlerider Tom, when he saw this.

That might be the greatest set of elbow bangs I’ve ever seen in my life. If she did the chicken dance she would actually take flight. It’s also totally normal to turn your back and scowl at the camera for all your family pictures. She looks like she’s on a Bone Thugs and Ratchetry album cover.

She, of course, thinks she is sexual chorizo. Note: the bear bong on the headboard.

She also had her wedding ceremony on Facebook. I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs Wizop.

But I doubt that ceremony is going to help her immigration woes and save her from being deported: 

She also said that she was tired of her house being a drug den and was going to be cleaning up people hanging out. Sounds like she might be the one who snitched on Vega.

She thinks that criminals should get fines instead of jail time – and let the world know by sidewalk chalking it on the front of the courthouse steps:

Lenine’s father, Boston George, thinks that the only reason his kid is in jail is because Elizabeth snitched on him way back when for carrying a gun. He was sent back to his own county for it. They, of course, duked this all out of Facebook:

And of course we have the girlfriend who hung out a second-story window while braless and preggers:

Nothing says “she’s mine” like jamming a fist in her cooch. Romantic.

Now, I’m not totally sure that Amanda is even 18 yet. We know she’s pregnant with a baby we will all be taking care of and went missing in 2015 at the age of 16. Something tells me this is the house she was hiding out at.

These two government cheesehogs live on the second floor. Grandmama ratchet, who owns the house, lives on the first floor. The fentanyl-selling queefbag, under arrest that day, lives on the third. Sounds like a great place to raise many kids from many baby daddies.

It’s like Welfare Abuse Farm. Where only the finest meats and cheeses come from.
We had one Turtlerider chime in who knew these slobs.

Well, my head is spinning. Who knew this pair was going to be the giving tree of trashy tales.

New Bedford is one of those vast, untapped, resources. We need someone to start a New Bedford community page out there. An Uncensored one would be a gift from the Turtlegods. Let us know if someone ends up making one.

 

 

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21 Comment(s)
  • sterotypecentral
    March 31, 2017 at 10:28 pm

    The “Our Lady of Guadalupe – Pray for….” “wall art” on the wall in the bedroom selfie – bwahahahaha!

  • Madcow not Rachel
    March 28, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    Fidel’s got his keys tryin to open up her cooter………I’m sure all he had to do is ask like the rest of NB did successfully. Nothin says love like Mom’s cellulite encrusted tramp stamp…….. you could crack coconuts with them thighs.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    March 27, 2017 at 1:42 pm

    Pretty sure ma dukes ran out of money half way through the sex change. Dolph Lundgren wishes he had calves like that.

  • Stu Pidazzo
    March 27, 2017 at 11:16 am

    I’m currently washing my eyeballs in the eye wash station, but those disgusting legs are seared into my brain. I’m currently holding back vomit. I literally can’t eat my lunch!

    Next topic: Yes, let’s fine criminals instead of jail time. Because criminals are so good at paying back debts! Great idea, you fucking moron!

  • me
    March 27, 2017 at 10:26 am

    i read shit like this and then i start to multiply to get to the numbers of just how much trash like this is in the country and it isn’t any wonder that i do not stay in a constant state of inebriation.

  • xoxo
    March 26, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    My question is simple…although probably not very easy to answer.
    When Elizabeth Quino gave birth to each of these pillars of society, did her scrotum get in the way?

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      March 27, 2017 at 1:43 pm

      Each of the kids was born with a mushroom stamp on their forehead.

  • True Reality Speaks
    Mirror Mirror
    March 26, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    Anyone else notice this weeble Lenine is only 5’3″ but weighs 180 lbs? My freakin German Shepherd is taller than that. The dog he stabbed must have been a Dachshund – only thing he could have reached with his T-Rex arms.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      March 27, 2017 at 1:45 pm

      He’s as wide as he is tall.

  • Turd Burglestein
    March 26, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    Them fat arms…they’re called bingo wings because usually you see them on old ladies jumping up to proclaim their bingo win.

  • MrSmiley
    March 26, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    Moms arms have jowls like a bulldogs face

  • The Truth
    March 26, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    She’s got a nice set of gravy draggers.

  • Turd Burglestein
    March 26, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Wow! My kind of woman! Grotesque! Disgusting. I can tell she stinks pretty badly. The international mark of the whore on her back! I wonder if she would have me. I’ll have to knock her unconscious obviously but it’s been so long since I’ve had a “live” woman it shouldn’t make any difference.

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 26, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      I’ll only sodomize her of course. That obsession has something to do with being raped by all the men in the family when I was a lad. Some of the neighbors too. After the chloroform wheres off I’ll have to set her up in my basement for arm wrestling matches. She should appeal to the same crowd that comes in for the cockfighting. That’s how I make most of my income. Well, that and the drugs.

      • Turd Burglestein
        March 26, 2017 at 4:46 pm

        Oh, to clarify…the cockfighting isn’t with roosters. I get all my fellas plied on viagra and then they stand around smacking each other with their erect cocks while I take photos. Winner gets to armwrestle the ugly chick. Not sure what the ultimate winner gets. Oh yeah, a pet rooster. I used to do the traditional cockfights. When I stopped I kept the birds though. Make great pets. Better than guard dogs too, for protection.

      • Thug Banker
        March 26, 2017 at 4:53 pm

        You should come work with me Turd. I have an excellent gig running a ponzi scheme. It’s how I’ve been able to fund my addiction to crack and tranny prostitutes. Them ladies with dicks are the best. Gnomesane?

        • Turd Burglestein
          March 26, 2017 at 5:04 pm

          Well, don’t leave me hanging. How’s it work? I hate things that are left hanging. Like my scrotum. Damn thing hangs so far past my knees now. So I tape it to my thigh when I go walking. Which isn’t often. But still. So, tell me more.

          • Thug Banker
            March 26, 2017 at 8:26 pm

            Here you go Turd. This will help you with your low hanging balls. I’m sure they have them in 3x sizes. Fortunately for me they also make them in an XS size too. Them raisins stay up there nice and snug.

            https://youtu.be/1zdDfQrPi5Q

  • ZephyrCat
    March 26, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    Wood!

  • WOW
    March 26, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    WOW, nice arms. Is she trying to compete with Michelle O the tranny? I think I need to take a course in modern language because half of what these people write I do not understand. Is there a new way of speaking? A new dictionary?

  • Small gene pool results
    March 26, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    Masculine women or are they men ?

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