Hoodrat Heroes

Meet The Two Worcester Cheesehogs At The Center Of The Auburn Mall Donnybrook

Meet The Two Worcester Cheesehogs At The Center Of The Auburn Mall Donnybrook

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This morning we shared one of the most epic videos in the history of Turtleboy Sports – a bunch of Worcester cheesehogs drowning themselves in a sea of ghetto Christmas joy at the Auburn Mall as Santa watched in disbelief from the Tutti Fruitis:

We obviously wanted to find out who these brawling beach body coaches were, and in no time we got two names. Let’s find out a little bit more about Worcester’s two most infamous Friday hoodrats.

First let’s start with this one:

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This is the one who was telling the cop that she was gonna get her lawyer to go after him. Because this gender non-conforming Worcester Bling Bling reject obviously has a lawyer on retainer just for situations like this. Obviously.

Her name is Eliabeth Grajales. Because consonants are overrated anyway. Although that may be the post-transition spelling of it. Not too sure.

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One thing we do know for sure is that she’s no stranger to the courthouse records.

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She’s also a bathroom selfie queen.

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She saved Orlando from the terrorists.

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She likes Red Bull.

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And she’s a big fan of that viral video that asshat junkie put up where he tells his kid that his mom died from a heroin overdose.

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Believe it or not this Maury Povich also-ran reproduced.

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But she doesn’t really like taking her kid out in public because the odds are just too great that she’ll run into someone she has to fight.

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Guess that means the lil man wasn’t at the Auburn Mall yesterday. Hope he doesn’t read Turtleboy!

Not the first time she’s woken up on the wrong side of the bed

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Maybe it’s because she’s having problems with the ol’ ball and chain.

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Wait……..so she’s into chicks, but she gave birth to a child. Hoodrat lifestyle is confusing.

Oh, and for all the idiots who said we were stereotyping or jumping to conclusions when we suggested that these prom queens are likely from some dump like Plumley Village……there’s a reason stereotypes exist.

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Just sayin.

Anyway, we are told that ratchet #2 is this lovely lady:

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And in the least surprising turn of events ever, she also reproduced.

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Yes, that’s right. Someone saw this:

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And said, “I’m going to impregnate that.”

And in the ultimate twist of irony, Ramos Ninnie doesn’t like “fat bitches.” And she’s allowed to say that because she’s a self-described “chunky, thick, and beautiful.” Oh, and she’s an “educated”woman with a “career.”

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I don’t know what 90% of that means, but based on the lack of any punctuation it sounds important.

Some may ask, “why would you fight another woman in the Auburn Mall and then pick a fight with the cop who’s trying to calm your tits?” Well, she has a foolproof excuse:

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OK then.

So there you have it. I think we now know two gravy dumpster that Santa won’t be visiting this year. Looks like they’ll have to rely on the EBT fairy once again if they wanna have a Merry Christmas. They better hope the bail bondsman accepts food stamps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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66 Comment(s)
  • Paul
    December 18, 2016 at 10:57 am

    Thick, is that the new word for 200 lbs over weight. The sad part is someone actually slept with that to reproduce. probably someone like the Fat slob from the Auburn high fight

  • Steven Stover
    December 17, 2016 at 9:02 pm

    Auburn Mall needs a cop at the door. Job would be to keep out everyone without money. Gotta produce credit cards or cash to enter. Eliminates the welfare brats that breed like rats.

  • Paul Larson
    December 17, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Liberals believe in evolution, and according to evolution, the strong survive and the unfit perish. So why would Liberals want Obamacare? It just keeps the unfit alive and allows them to reproduce, which lowers the fitness of the human race. Just like global warming. Those who can stand the heat will thrive, and those who can’t will die off. Then when there are less people around, there will be less homes being heated, less pollution, etc., and temperatures will fall. Then those who can stand the cold …

    (like back in the 1970s, when everyone thought we were going into a new ice age)

    … will survive and reproduce, and those who need more heat will die off. So why bother with trying to keep weaklings alive?

    Paul Larson

  • Mr Butthurt
    December 17, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    Would not. Even with Kevins dick and that is saying a lot.

  • Where's daddy ?
    December 17, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Did anyone check for lost EBT cards on the floor, after the Sumo wrestling match. Also, they’re very masculine, can’t be female are they ?

  • PrettySadSituation
    December 17, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    Think about it…
    These people are having children. At a rate faster than the educated and middle class folks who can actually handle supporting and raising children.
    These young ladies are the product of the same thing they are producing. They surely have uncles/aunts/brothers/sisters who are also producing life.
    If they each have 3 siblings, who have 3 offspring each, who then have 3 offspring each… you get the point. Our country can not sustain these people multiplying. Eventually, it will cause us to crumble.

    These people are indeed a waste of the clean air we all need to breath. I’m ashamed of these type of Americans. Yet they see nothing wrong with this. Welfare with tattoos. How come I’m not on welfare, yet can’t afford tattoos?

    F the trash in this article. F them all.

    • EBT rocks
      December 17, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      Pricey North Face jackets, high-end cellphones, cars, etc. Never mind all the perks they receive not only from the gov., but from charitable organizations too. Always, much more than most people would think.

    • tina
      December 17, 2016 at 3:29 pm

      no excuse for these people. but in response to those on welfare: not all are using their money for unimportant expensive things. i am disabled and have welfare and social security and i am actually still listed on poverty line. my ebt just for food not hot prepared foods though. rest of my money pays my bills and things i need during month. if i get something nice and new and pricey its because i get it as a gift from my parents on my birthday and or christmas. in order to get my income for disabilty i actually have to go to mandatory evaluations every so often to review my case and all kinds of paper work and show proper identification. there is definitely a lot of fraud and miss use of benefits in this nation and it is giving those whom follow protocol a bad name. it is trashy and these people just need to grow up,bet the kid of the chick complaining can handle things better than his mom..

  • Paul Larson
    December 17, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    Elizabeth Warren says she is “Native American”. However, humanity did not evolve here.

    According to the book, “Genes, Peoples, and Languages” by Luigi Luca Cavalli-Sforza:

    “In fact, we know from archeological information that the Americas were probably settled between 10,000 and 25,000 years ago, when a land bridge connected Siberia and Alaska during the last ice age, making it possible to walk from Asia to the Americas … it is possible that America was the last continent occupied by modern humans.” Page 37 – 38.

    Therefore, according to science, Democrat Senator Warren is part Siberian.

    Paul Larson

  • Shameonturtlebrains
    December 17, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Turtle boy is no different then the trash he is consumed with posting about. He is just as “ratchet” as they are, with the constant vulagarities and trashy word choices. To make statements that people who are overweight , heterosexual of lower socioeconomic class or live in certain zip codes or who may have conceived children via a sermon donor are all “trash” just shows exactly what type of person he is . Turtle boy is a narcissistic head case who thrives on drama and the deprivation of others. He writes all these articles because they are a mirror image of himself. “Ratchet” , indeed he is !!!

    • Turd Burglestein
      December 17, 2016 at 12:26 pm

      What is Turtleboy depriving them of?

    • TL
      December 17, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      What’s a sermon donor? Don’t you just hate having a epic rant and then you find out you fucked it all up with a typo.

      • Justice
        December 17, 2016 at 11:50 pm

        LOL, yes. Doesn’t everybody?

      • tom
        December 18, 2016 at 8:52 pm

        A Justice of the Peace?

    • Jones
      December 17, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      STB^ Its called “doing the steps” … .. AA people c’mon now… this is afterhours.

  • Richard N. Vulva
    December 17, 2016 at 11:16 am

    Dear World,

    We regret to inform you that Christmas will be cancelled this year. It seems that Santa was visiting Auburn, MA this year and has suffered post traumatic stress. He is currently undergoing electric shock therapy to help with the trauma.

    Sincerely,
    Richard N. Vulva
    Attorney for Kris Kringle

  • December 17, 2016 at 10:04 am

    I wonder when these ratchets will descend on Mason Rd in Holden for a little payback

    • Turd Burglestein
      December 17, 2016 at 11:23 am

      I hope Dick Hertz is waiting for them if they do.

  • michelle
    December 17, 2016 at 10:03 am

    although the fight was ridiculous what thr fuck right does that give you to poke at someones gender or sexuality. if your a reporter then report the facts dude. like why yhus even happened her having kids annd being a lesbian is irrelevant. im dissapointed turtle boy. stop bullying people and start reporting facts. i always enjoyed your articles but lately they seem more filled with insults than facts and information

    • Another Michele
      December 17, 2016 at 10:56 am

      I totally agree. Gender, sexuality, and BMI has nothing to do with this. You’re losing your credibility with reporting like this.

    • SnortMcghee
      December 17, 2016 at 11:11 am

      …the girlfriends friend of a killer whaddya’ expect?

    • Michelle
      December 17, 2016 at 12:09 pm

      ^ Your just noticing this now? You haven’t seen comments about “legally retarded” or anything like that before? Please tell me none of you are nurses, that would be scary.

    • DJT
      December 17, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      The U. S. Constitution gives that right. And many others. Have someone read it to you.

      • Michelle^
        December 17, 2016 at 12:55 pm

        ^DJT …..have someone from Grafton Hill post it. Everyone who grew up over there must know their “rights” by now.

        • Michelle
          December 17, 2016 at 1:42 pm

          ^Have one of Heathers friends post it.

          • Michelle
            December 17, 2016 at 7:00 pm

            looks like someone else recognizes the ghill druggys too everytime they post about that poor officer…. that’s like really bad.. with her friends all over the blog.. not even right.

  • Paul Larson
    December 17, 2016 at 7:41 am

    On December 8th, Not Clive wrote: “Civil War was not fought over slavery… That is how it is explained to children. The 13th amendment was a biproduct. Slavery was on it’s way out anyway…The Civil War was not fought over slavery. That is a HUGE simplification. …” Not so, Not Clive.

    Not Clive,
    Have you ever read “Slavery as a cause of the Civil ‘War” edited … by Edwin C. Rozwenc of Amherst College. “In the following article which appeared in DeBow’s Review in October, 1857, Fitzhugh made “the slavery principle” central in southern thought, habits, and social structure. Fitzhugh’s views, to be sure, were extreme, but the fact that they were given a respectable hearing in the South indicates that the Southern consensus had changed considerably … The South … is multiplying her academies, her colleges and her universities …several of these professors have written works defending slavery with great ability … All of them are true to Southern institutions. From these schools thousands of educated and influential men annually proceed to every quarter of the South.”

    Reubin Davis, born in Tennessee and educated in Alabama … Was elected to Congress as a Democrat in 1856 and served two terms in Congress. In June, 1860, he delivered this speech: ”But suppose… by the aid of your numbers, you should conquer us; and you then emancipate our slaves, and force them upon us as equals … As I said on a former occasion, you would have destroyed the whole capital of the South … By the emancipation of our slaves you destroy, ay, extinguish … and release from toil the great majority of effective laborers South, who become drones, consuming more than they produce.”

    Otho Singleton, Democrat, served in Congress from 1859 to 1861. In his speech, (Democratic) Congressman Singleton indicated why the “Black Republican” party was unacceptable to many Southerners and, at the same time, revealed the purposes of the South. “What have we to look forward to as slave owners? We are to have no expansion – no legislation for the protection of slavery … the Fugitive Slave Law is to be repealed or set at naught. Slavery in the district of Columbia, in the dockyards, the arsenals, and all public places, is to be abolished … I ask again, what will be the future of the southern slaveholder?”

    So, Not Clive, the Civil War was fought by Republicans to overthrow slavery.

    Paul Larson

    • Realist
      December 17, 2016 at 7:58 am

      Wrong again Paul! The names are correct, but the ideology is what’s important here. Liberals fought to overthrow slavery, and at that time they were Republican. Both parties have done a 180 since.

      • Jack Mehoff
        December 17, 2016 at 8:34 am

        Umm, no. The Democrat Party endorses slavery as a means of control. Social programs that make families and individuals dependent on Government to subsist is slavery. All reforms to make people independent and wealthy are fought tooth and nail: our former Communist Governor Deval Patrick was a prime example. Simple reforms such as putting a picture on an EBT card to cut down fraud and also preventing the use of those cards outside Massachusetts were proposed by Republicans and shot down. The Democrats need a dependent, enslaved population to continue their power.

        Fortunately their power is waning. Except here in this Social Justice Paradise and these EBT queens are perfect examples. Many struggle around the world to get enough nourishment to survive. These two fat shitbags probably consume enough Calories each for a normal family of seven.

        • Realist
          December 17, 2016 at 10:34 am

          Is this Sean Hannity?

          • Jack Mehoff
            December 17, 2016 at 2:10 pm

            No. I don’t listen to him, watch Fox News or Limbaugh.

            Unlike Democrats, I have a rational, thinking brain. Not an emotional, impaired one.

        • Lib Central
          December 17, 2016 at 12:06 pm

          “Sometimes jail doesn’t work out for some people. “

      • GFY
        December 17, 2016 at 8:38 am

        Don’t try to let facts get in the way of an annoying rant

      • Paul Larson
        December 17, 2016 at 8:58 am

        Realist,

        You are confusing pro-slavery Jeffersonian Democratic – Republicans with anti-slavery Lincoln Republicans. Jefferson spread slavery throughout the Louisiana Purchase. Andrew Jackson was a pro-slavery Jeffersonian Republican until he became a Jeffersonian Democrat. Jackson did everything he could to stop the abolitionists. Today the Republican Party is capitalistic, which means you have a choice of what you want to buy or what you don’t want to buy. The Democrats are Socialist, which is the new slavery. What choice do you have with Social Security, Medicare or Obamacare?
        Try reading “Bind Us Apart – How Enlightened Americans Invented Racial Segregation” by Nicholas Guyatt. Guyatt lives in Cambridge, England. Look up all the pro-slavery Liberal Jeffersonian Democrat names and check their names against “American Leaders – A Biographical Summary” and you will find that the pro-slavery Jeffersonian Anti-Federalists, the pro-slavery Jeffersonian Democratic-Republicans were the Southern Party that forced slavery into the U.S. Constitution and that we are still dealing with their legacy today!
        Today’s Republican Party is pro-choice, today’s Democrats are Socialist, and opposed to freedom of choice.

        Paul Larson

        • Realist
          December 17, 2016 at 10:33 am

          What? Meaningless babble there Paul! I stand by what I stated and your long winded babble does nothing to refute my statement.

          • Paul Larson
            December 17, 2016 at 11:18 am

            Realist,

            That is merely your opinion.

            Paul Larson

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            December 17, 2016 at 10:25 pm

            Bless your kind heart. Whenever I see “Paul Larson” I scroll right past his thesis. I don’t mind long posts and I’m a reader by most people’s standards, but his shit is hardly ever on topic. The last time I read one of his long winded posts, I got an ice cream headache. No more of that.

      • Paul Larson
        December 17, 2016 at 11:13 am

        Hey Realist,

        In the final two debates between (Republican) Lincoln and (Democrat) Douglas, Lincoln seized the high ground by denouncing slavery as a moral wrong and a tyranny indistinguishable from the divine right of kings. In his natural right “to eat the bread which he has earned by the sweat of his brow,” Lincoln declared, every black slave should be “my equal, Judge Douglas’s equal, and the equal of every living man.”

        Lincoln was for EQUALITY!

        Today, Republican Trump says all should have a 15% tax rate. THAT IS EQUALITY!

        Democrat/Socialist Bernie Sanders said he wanted an over 90% tax rate for the wealthy. THAT IS NOT EQUALITY!

        Paul Larson

      • Lincoln
        December 17, 2016 at 12:08 pm

        Osamacare IS slavery.

  • Noseface
    December 17, 2016 at 7:38 am

    As entertaining as it is to watch these human waste products embarass themselves, its equallly as depressing to watch in real time whats happening to this country. These people just systematically ruin neighborhoods and businesses, reproduce at alarming rates, and spread there filth and destruction into once nice areas and ruin that too. I think its time for the hard working folks of Auburn to sell and move before property values are ruined. The Auburn police tried to secure the borders but unfortunately they are fighting a losing battle.

  • BobnMic's Modus Operandi
    December 17, 2016 at 7:27 am

    Now that I’ve been caught posting under the name ‘Retired Worcester Cop’ making outrageous claims that I assisted the families of the Worcester 6, I’m going to use every post to insinuate that I really am a retired LE officer. I’ll say things like I can’t confirm or deny that I participated in LE actions and that I used to rough up wangsters. And what a coincidence: a few days ago, a poster jokingly asked if I retired to a Pacific island on my LE pension and because of my constant 4AM posts and I JUST SO HAPPEN to be going to Hawaii for Christmas.

    EAT A BAG OF DICKS, SQUIRREL!

  • fordsnharleys
    Tngsucks
    December 17, 2016 at 5:01 am

    Turtleboy has now used the word ratchet more than the Snap On catalog. I think this blog should be displayed in every class room on why it is important to maintain composure in public. Jail is no longer cutting it.

  • Tina
    December 17, 2016 at 3:27 am

    omg i feel bad for the dog of the second chick involve in this fight. from the picture that lil dog’ s face looks frightened. my head hurts seeing the video on youtube and reading this which was actually pretty enlightening. a fight over nothing at mall, wtf is wrong with people?! grown ass adults acting like high schoolers. good grief people bring their children their and have to witness this crap… but gotta say Turtleboy, you always seem to make every new’s story entertaining because it’s so real . to those idiots that go shopping at auburn mall not from auburn please keep your drama to yourselves, your own towns. stop making good ole auburn trashy. and please just do all citizens a favor grow up and respect the law.i am so glad i was not there to witness this fight. Poor Santa.

    • mspca
      December 17, 2016 at 6:58 am

      I feel bad for the dog, too. The picture caption probably reads “Into to crock pot tonight”.

      • mspca
        December 17, 2016 at 6:59 am

        *into the crockpot

        • tina
          December 17, 2016 at 3:11 pm

          i would not be surprised

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    December 16, 2016 at 11:43 pm

    What time did this happen Thursday? I was there in the mid afternoon (not by choice, bringing my bestfriends grandmother to NY&Co) and I bought some delicious Aunt Annie’s while I was there. It was close to 1pm and the place was empty, no ratchets! I even spoke to Santa, he was a sweety…

    I’m glad I wasn’t there when this went down. I despise being in the same atmosphere as any ratchet women who fight over dick!

  • The Boner Guy
    December 16, 2016 at 11:42 pm

    I was just about to make my nightly visit over to pornhub, but figured I’d see what Turtle was up to first. Well, thanks, Turtleboy, and the brawling BBWs. One-stop shopping. Saved me a few clicks and still manged to make myself a pretty fair boner. I don’t know if it was the class, the beauty, the intelligence, the raw sex appeal or the well-placed shots of the Fat Upper Pussy Area (FUPA), but whatever it was – Boner!!!! Also, RIP, once-decent Auburn Mall. As Chris Rock famously said of ghetto malls, “ain’t nothing but sneakers and baby clothes.”

    • Tina
      December 17, 2016 at 3:17 am

      lmaoo FUPA

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        December 17, 2016 at 12:34 pm

        I was at the Auburn mall and I didn’t see any ratchets……… til I saw my reflection in a mirror!

  • block the number
    December 16, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    I’m all for you publicly shaming those who act like pigs in public… But putting up a picture of her son is crossing the line. Blocking the face is a start but the number should be blocked as well (or just taken down as it’s honestly not adding much to the story). It’s not the kids fault who his mother is, and all of his coaches, teammates, and friends are going to see this. The kid doesn’t deserve it. He was obviously dealt a bad hand in life to begin with.

    • Justice
      December 17, 2016 at 11:06 am

      Don’t be fooled. The apple never falls far from the tree….neither do the nuts.

  • Plarph
    December 16, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    The people are human vomit!

  • Take it down
    December 16, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    This is for turtle boy you need to take down my son’s picture now or I’m going to sue you you need to get your facts straight

    • Your boo
      December 16, 2016 at 11:30 pm

      Wait a min, your son has a turtle for a head and can play football?! That is amazing!! So he must get his good looks from his dad. Good luck with the life of being an “educated, beautiful and thick” woman. (Those are punctuation used to help the structure and clarity of a sentence)
      Carry on.

      • Two thumbs up to you
        December 16, 2016 at 11:53 pm

        Very smart for someone who know nothing if you was reading the post you would see that he is not her son AT ALL just in case you need the words bigger.Get your facts straight before you comment cause you are offending me.and I have nothing to do with what happened!

        • Turd Burglestein
          December 17, 2016 at 11:17 am

          Yeah…Turtleboy takes down stories all the time when people get offended. LOL.

          My suggestion is to shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first. You can let us know in the comments. Just make sure to use a lot of emojis when you communicate because we’re not doing that well trying to comprehend your puerto rican ebonics.

        • Beans
          December 17, 2016 at 2:37 pm

          “If you was reading”. Giggity goo, English ain’t fo you

    • Turd Burglestein
      December 17, 2016 at 7:09 am

      Nah…leave it up. This is the tri-fecta story on you gutterslugs. The only thing that could make this even better is if Southshore TG could find the father because we’d all like to see what kind of pathetic punk loser is so desperate to get laid that he’d bang the ugliest fattest dykes in Auburn.

      • JoeMomma
        December 17, 2016 at 11:10 am

        The fathers name is Turkey Baster

        • Turd Burglestein
          December 17, 2016 at 11:19 am

          BWAHAHAHAHAHA…Good one. The sperm donor was probably a random used condom found in the trash can after one of their parties.

      • tina
        December 17, 2016 at 3:14 pm

        apparently those in the fight were from worcester i think forget. i know they were not from Auburn. but yea they certainly didn’t look like they worth fighting over.

    • TL
      December 17, 2016 at 7:43 am

      Oh sweetheart – isn’t your lawyer too busy chasing baby daddy’s for child support and getting your ass out of jail? When will he have time to tell you that you have no case against TB? Take this as a sign to get your shit together.

    • PVE
      December 17, 2016 at 12:00 pm

      Internet lawsuit!

    • wtatnuckgangsta
      December 17, 2016 at 1:29 pm

      COME ON DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Dildo Swaggins
      December 17, 2016 at 11:10 pm

      hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (takes deep breath) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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