Sports

Mike Tomlin, Rapist Ben Roethlisberger Complaining About Unwritten Rules Is So Ironic

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I thought the Steelers were one of the good teams. I thought that a blue collar city like Pittsburgh raised their children to be hard working bastards who don’t whine when things don’t go their way. After all, the Steelers were probably the most supportive franchise of Tom Brady during the deflategate witch hunt. They said on the record several times that they thought he was innocent and WANTED to play him week one. But I guess I was wrong.

Radiogate is all the rage right now in Pittsburgh, a city who fancies itself the “city of champions” because they’ve had three championship parades during a span in which we’ve had nine. Big Ben also lodged a complaint last night that the Patriots were ungentlemanly by shifting their defensive front on a goal line play which prompted two fat bastards from the Steelers to jump offsides. I guess we just have to get used to this. Every week we’re gonna win and every week we’re gonna be accused of cheating. It comes with being the king. But lets address the hilarity of the two newest cheating accusations:

Radiogate AKA Communigate

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Last night the Steelers lost because they missed two field goals and for some reason Darius Heyward-Bey elected to stand out of bounds instead of inside the end zone. But all I’ve heard from the butthurts in Pittsburgh has been about “radiogate.”

First of all, the NFL provides the radios for these games. Secondly, it was raining. Thirdly, who gives a fuck? What was Mike Tomlin gonna hear on the other end of his radio? “Coach Tomlin, we should probably guard this Rob Gronkowski guy. Oh yea, our kicker sucks too. I wish Suisham wasn’t hurt.” 

Look, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when you lose to the Patriots. You lost to the best quarterback and best coach of all time. You got beat by a tight end who is literally impossible to cover, which is probably why you didn’t bother covering him. Your kicker was hurt. Your running back was high. Your second best receiver was juicing. Your best lineman was hurt. It’s OK to lose.

Oh yea, and your coach willingly admits that he has had problems with headsets in Foxboro before, but yet he STILL wasn’t prepared for such a situation going into this game. That’s the difference between Belichick and a grown ass man with a chin strap.

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Shiftgate

Then you’ve got Big Ben who claims that the Steelers jumped offsides at the goal line because the Patriots defensive line shifted, even though this is well within in the rules. AND he admitted that they knew the Patriots did this a lot coming in, but he still said it violated an “unwritten rule.”

You know what a winning team does when they know the other team likes to shift the defensive line at the goal line? They prepare for it during practice. Wachusett High School would’ve been better prepared than the Steelers were. Well, I guess they only had a month and half to figure out how to get their lineman not to jump offsides the first time they saw a defensive end legally move laterally before the quarterback says “hike.”

I guess that makes sense for Big Ben though. After all, he lives by a strict code of unwritten rules. One of his favorite unwritten rules is, “If a girl says no, she means maybe. And if she says maybe, that means she really wants the D but she just doesn’t wanna look like a ho-bag. Commence drilling.”

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The best part about all of this is that Mike Tomlin is the worst cheater in the history of the NFL. Despite non-stop allegations against Belichick he is yet to serve a single game suspension for cheating, and any accusations against him have been unsubstantiated hearsay. But not Mike Tomlin. Oh no, when Mike Tomlin cheats he does it directly in front of millions of people:

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Can’t wait to hear what Rex Ryan has in store to whine about a week from Monday.

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5 Comment(s)
  • BobnMic
    September 13, 2015 at 12:03 am

    This is not funny anymore. As Coach Belichick said, it all has reached an all time low. Our coach Bill Belichick: “I just think overall, it’s kind of sad really, to see some stories obviously have an agenda to them with misinformation and anonymous-type comments,” he said during a conference call yesterday. “Complaining about warm drinks and trash cans and stuff like that, I think it’s a sad commentary and it’s gone to a pretty low level. It’s sunk pretty deep.”

    And the best coach in NFL history even beyond Vince Lombardi continued to said:

    “You know this organization has won a lot of games,” Belichick said, “but particularly in reference to the great teams from ’01, ’03, ’04, back in there, and all the great players that played on those teams — Ty Law, (Lawyer) Milloy, Otis Smith, Rodney Harrison, (Tedy) Bruschi, (Larry) Izzo, (Willie) McGinest, (Mike) Vrabel, (Anthony) Pleasant, (Richard) Seymour, Matt Light, (Joe) Andruzzi, Steve Neal, (Deion) Branch, Troy Brown, (Tom) Brady, Antowain Smith, Kevin Faulk, Corey Dillon, Lonie Paxton, (Adam) Vinatieri — to take away from what those guys accomplished, what those teams accomplished, how good they were, how many great players we had, how well they played in big games, how they consistently showed up and made big plays and game-winning plays. It’s not right.”

    Ok, Who in their right mind can not respect and or get down with this great leader? If not then fuck you!

  • Eric
    September 11, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    I hope the pats get accused of a different scandal every week. It’s just so entertaining to see the butthurt fans of every other team whine and cry. I can’t wait to see what team can be the most creative. My money is on the Broncos.

  • Wheelwright
    September 11, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    I was in TJ’s Restaurant and Sports Bar near Wheeling, WV last night for the game. Walked in wearing my number 12 Pats Jersey and a Fuck You attitude, all 5’8″ and 165 lbs of me! Helps I’m 60 years old. They treated me like a plague victim but the bartender did keep serving me (ginger ale – quit drinking a few months back).

    Towards the end of the game it was like being naked in a hornets nest or maybe like wearing an American Flag jacket in an ISIS camp. Hostile is a kind word for those losers and the word cheater was used more than once a second. I just smiled, arguing with drunks in bars is a bad idea.

    We Pats fans have to figure out what to do when the golden ride ends. Until then all other team fans can kiss my ass!

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    September 11, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    Unicorns and show ponies. Oh Zolak you scamp!

  • Dave
    September 11, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Um, the Steelers have no way of messing with the uniformly supplied equipment, which is identical for every team?

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