WTF

Mom, Grandma, Aunt Fake Kidnapping 6-Year Old Son, Threaten To Sell Him Into Sex Slavery To Teach Him About Strangers

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KSDKFour people have been arrested in a fake kidnapping case the suspects say was meant to teach a 6-year-old boy a lesson about stranger danger.

Lincoln County sheriff’s deputies say the child was lured into a pickup truck by Nathan Firoved while walking home from school Monday. Once the child was in the truck, Firoved told him he would never “see his mommy again,” and he would be “nailed to the wall of a shed.” When the child started to cry, Firoved showed him a gun and threatened to hurt him if he did not stop crying.

Firoved bound the boy’s hands and feet, covered his face and drove him around for a while. While the boy was blindfolded, he was unknowingly taken to his home, where his aunt removed his pants and told him he could be sold into sex slavery.

Deputies say the boy was left in the basement for some time before he was unbound and family members lectured him about stranger danger.

The suspects told investigators they were trying to teach the boy a lesson and felt they did nothing wrong.

 

Not to self – cancel fake kidnapping of Turtleboy Jr.

So let me get this straight. The grandmother, aunt, and mother conspired to have their little boy kidnapped and threatened with rape because he’s, “too nice.” Ummmm, he’s six years old. He’s SUPPOSED to be nice you muff sandwiches!!! That’s what six year old boys do when they’re not possessed by the devil. The only ones who aren’t nice are the little mcmuffins from Supernanny. Oh I’m sorry, your kid is too friendly? Must be tough. How about instead of simulating a kidnapping and molestation you trade your nice little boy in for one of those crazy ADHD kids who throws pots at you.

Oh yea, and what six year isn’t familiar with sex slavery? Like, how did the aunt explain that one to this kid while she was de-robing him? He doesn’t even know what sex is, never mind the concept of being used as some wealthy Russian guy’s sex toy. He’s never seen Law and Order SUV so he literally has no idea what you’re talking about. But now, thanks to your amazing collaborative extended family parenting skills, he is going to constantly think about being sold into child prostitution. Nice job Mom!!!

One last thing. I will give them credit for actually caring about their boy. As fucked up as they are, their intentions were actually noble. But the most remarkable part about this is that not ONE of the three women involved objected to this. What are the odds of that? Like, I would expect the Grandma, with her wisdom and anecdotes, to chime in and say, “maybe there’s another way to do this that doesn’t involve kidnapping and the threat of sex slavery.” But nope. Somehow it was a unanimous decision. At least they did a good job recruiting a kidnapper, because you couldn’t possibly get a better person to play the role of the kidnapping child sex slavery kingpin:

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I guarantee that guy will beat anyone at Dungeon and Dragons. Let’s be honest. It was only a matter of time until that guy got arrested for kidnapping and child molestation. This was basically a dry run for the inevitable real thing down the road.

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2 Comment(s)
  • Brittany
    February 7, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Did this guy really say this was brilliant?!?
    Um what?!?
    Every part of that is wrong.
    You want to teach your kids talk to them ask them questions…. What would you do if someone asked you to get in their car? Ect…
    Go over these things.
    This kid is officially screwed mentally for the rest of his life.

    What is next?? Teach the kids that drugs are bad by sharing some dope with them?

    Get real! Ugh this made my blood boil.

  • Hippie non protestor
    February 7, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    This is actually a pretty brilliant idea. Def should’ve left out the sex slavery thing though-that’s how it got weird.

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