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Monday Mailbag: Angry Gender Fluid Butthurt Repeatedly Calls Deskie Homophobic Slurs While Accusing Us Of Transphobia, Threatens Lawsuit If We Blog About Him

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You know Turtleboy is back in business when we the fan mail starts rolling in. Here’s your Monday Mailbagger of the day…..

Uhoh!!! He said we’d see a libel lawsuit if we post this message he sent us. We totally were NOT supposed to do this. Yet we did anyway. And he’s obviously for real since he’s one of the rare fans who actually knows the difference between libel and slander!! Game over folks!

Turns out that because we’re a public figure and Tom Lauring is a “private citizen” he can message us sweet nothings like this, but we can’t do anything in return:


According to him if we blog about this he’s going to get “vicious” on our Facebook page, which sounds like a fun way to spend a Monday!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!! What’s with all the homophobia bro? This is a love and tolerance blog. Take your hate speech elsewhere please.

Not sure what his beef is exactly, but it looks like it has something to do with trannies and being a coward:

Tuns out “Tom” is only Tom sometimes, and looks like to be Ghetto “Tomi” Lahren on other days…..

Honestly, he looks better as a chick.

Unfortunately by the time Abi finished up her dump and had gotten back to him he’d already blocked all three of our Facebook pages. It’s almost like people who believe they are another gender and mutilate themselves have some sort of undiagnosed mental disorder. Weird.

Happy Monday everyone!!

34 Comment(s)
  • Tom Loring
    August 21, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    Shithead. Can you not understand nuance and sarcasm?
    They are some useful skills to pick up if you want to be a writer. Im incredibly pro LGBT. So dont pretend to be either on my side while pretending to be offended .
    There is no way you can play your hand without sounding like a huge hypocrite.
    You forever lose the right to play the “lol snowflake card” when I triggered you so hard you blogged about it. If your that courageous. how about posting the unedited version of my rant?
    you took everything I said out of context, and were so triggered by it you blogged about it. Pathetic. “deskie” Do all of you faggots get cute little nicknames around the office?
    Call it a double down.

  • Faggot
    May 1, 2018 at 12:37 pm

    There must be a mental problem that caused it not to know what it is. Freak, should just end it. What bathroom does it use? Does it sit or stand. Should we refer to it as they? I better not see it around kids.

  • XXX
    May 1, 2018 at 11:15 am

    If someone said “I’m going to call somebody every name that would piss someone off and I’m going to put a picture of me in a dress next to it.”, you’d figure whoever would be douche enough to hang out with him might be like, “That’s one way to get your face smashed.”

    These are sad times. Why isn’t he in traction yet?

  • Ted
    April 30, 2018 at 8:45 pm

    There’s no chicks with dicks Johnny, only guys with tits!

  • Sgt Lincoln Osiris
    April 30, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    I’m just a dude playing a dude, disguised as another dude…

  • TJB
    April 30, 2018 at 7:59 pm

    I dont care how drunk or high you are, if you make to the bed, rip its clothes off and stuff your swiss roll in there; and dont notice the extra apparatus or the smell of Shit, then you might be a homo.

  • My name is Brian, spelled with a PH and a Y...Bphrayan
    April 30, 2018 at 6:43 pm

    Looks like it baited you for whatever reason to make a blog about “it”. Probably trying to get in with some local cuck “fuck TB”, SJW chapter of whiny cunts. But eh, still funny to laugh at this self loathing loser.

  • KJDS
    April 30, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    Wow – his law practice must be BOOMING since he knows all the laws about how posting something a private citizen actually wrote is somehow libel.

    They must have a different definition of ‘libel’ in Massachusetts.

    Uh oh – I may be guilty of misgendering someone.

  • Chuck Johnson
    April 30, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    I’d fuck’em

    • Bevin Smynch
      April 30, 2018 at 5:32 pm

      Chuck, you fuck your dog on a regular basis, not surprised you’d fuck this thing too.

  • Steven Tyler
    April 30, 2018 at 11:21 am

    Dude looks like a lady

  • GG
    April 30, 2018 at 11:11 am

    Oh god! Smh so angry!  Why?

  • Dude.deserve to get hit
    April 30, 2018 at 11:02 am

    Always the freaks act tough. He never had a pair since he blocked people. Pussy.

  • Bring it
    April 30, 2018 at 10:54 am

    Oh the insanity.Scary words and threats from a man that wears a fucking dress in his spare time

  • Spunky
    April 30, 2018 at 10:50 am

    He/she gives a whole new meaning to the “little black *cocktail* dress!!

  • Gene Simmons Not of Kiss
    April 30, 2018 at 10:30 am

    Oh this is just precious. I’ve known Lauren since she was a kid. He was actually pretty decent in baseball. He was always sort of feminine through high school. It was until after he started donning the dresses. Started showing up at some of the local haunts not as Tommy, all dressed up, and some of us knew it was him, others did not. We used to stay mum and see if some idiot would be dumb enough to leave with him. One of our group left with him, when we met up with him next time (remember Jacko! lol), he said he got laid. We got him drunk and then dropped the bomb! Jack said he lied, he didn’t fuck her but did get a great BJ. We just laughed, said yeah but you still got head from a dude, dude! Fucking riot. Anyway. Lauren has been out for a few years now. She was sort of a slut, but only sort of because there were not enough dudes that get desperate enough to romp with the chick with a dick. Plus, she has made no effort to pop up a decent set of boobies. I think she has finally found love, hasn’t been at the bars for quite a while. All in all, he’s an okay guy. I am not sure why she’s all pissed about the tranny thing. Has Turtleboy bashed trannies?

    • You're creepy
      May 1, 2018 at 2:56 pm

      Uh, don’t know, but your story sounds way more autobiographical than you’re admitting. Your friends are also seriously fuckin’ skeevy. You can take a walk, fuckin’ weirdo.

  • phong
    April 30, 2018 at 10:18 am

    Is that Billy Baggz’ “girlfriend”?

  • Randy
    April 30, 2018 at 10:01 am


    He/she has a point about you.

    • Randy rocks the panty hose
      April 30, 2018 at 11:04 am

      Watch out, people. Randy wants to ride the ass pony with Dick Tracy. He’s warm for that form. Don’t make him mad or he’ll scratch your eyes out. Different strokes, huh kid? Whatever. Enjoy.

  • Turtle Babe
    April 30, 2018 at 10:00 am

    yikes what a potty mouth Tommy/Tammy has.This is a family blog mam/sir!

  • Walter "Any Hole In A Storm" Bird
    April 30, 2018 at 9:26 am

    Wow. She is hot. I wanna dip my Coney Island in her badly.

  • Brian
    April 30, 2018 at 9:25 am

    Thisbone seems like a troll. I don’t think this dude that thinks he is a girl sometimes write this. Looks like someone trying to make them look bad. I don’t any person would purposely make themselves look this stupid. Inl could be wrong but HE cannot be those pathetic

  • Tomi
    April 30, 2018 at 9:08 am

    It puts the lotion on it’s skin, or else it gets the hose again.

    • Gene Simmons Not of Kiss
      April 30, 2018 at 10:33 am

      That’s a fucking riot dude , lmao

      • Buffalo Bill
        April 30, 2018 at 4:28 pm

        Oh, wait, was she a great big fat person?

  • Portland Street Worcester, MA
    April 30, 2018 at 8:57 am

    Want to make $2 the hard way?

  • Finn
    April 30, 2018 at 8:56 am

    I love how SJWs are the first to point out improper/politically incorrect language – yet they use the most offensive language (i.e. “faggot”, “queer”, “niggah” – spelling it like that makes it ok! ) that they claim hurts their “cause”.


    I *cannot* wait for Abi to respond.

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    April 30, 2018 at 8:51 am

    Cutting off your pecker doesn’t make you a woman; it just makes you a guy that cut off his damn pecker.

    • bigdaddy
      April 30, 2018 at 12:09 pm

      It just makes you dickless

  • Herr Doktor
    April 30, 2018 at 8:41 am

    You wanna be a girl so badly there, Tommyboy? Come on down to the playroom, I think we might have a dull rusty razor blade lying around somewhere, but you’ll have to bring your own magnifying glass so you can find your micropeen you Tinky Winky Wannbe. Another keyboard/telephone toughguy, somebody needs to hit you so hard your grandchildren will be bruised; I’m wondering why, if his ass is so bad why he blocked any response…oh, yeah no sack

  • Rick Shaw
    April 30, 2018 at 8:26 am

    What the hell is that thing? Rocky from Mask was better looking. Nice Adams apple you fucking misguided circus act.

  • Nelson Roman is a complete idiot
    April 30, 2018 at 8:04 am

    Looking for attention. Kinda like dressing up.

  • Nelson Roman is a complete idiot
    April 30, 2018 at 8:01 am

    Looking for attention, kinda like dressing up.

    Please do a story about Holyoke wanting to give 16 year olds the right to vote!!!

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