Hoodrat Heroes

Pawtucket Junkbunny Who Tried Buying Xanax Off Turtleboy May Be A Backpage Hooker, Single Mom Who Recently Miscarried Due To Drug Use

You knew there had to be a part 3 to this story right?

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Turns out our good friend Jessica Kane, the Pawtucket junkbunny who messaged us looking to buy Xanax, is a woman of many skills. Most of which involve putting things in various orifices.

So we found the original thread that prompted Jessica Kane to message us, looking to score drugs. It all started with this:

Just a reminder that September 26 was a Tuesday. Pretty standard Tuesday in the life of your average Pawtucket junkbunny.

Someone saw this hilarious post and elected to tag Turtleboy in it…..

Naturally she saw this, and assumed that it meant that Turtleboy SELLS Xanax, rather then writes about slopbuckets who are “trina” buy Xanax on the Facebook machine.

So this is how it all began.

She’s also the Queen bitch of her Facebook feed, and often shares her insight on politics, culture, and social issues:

Beware though – you don’t wanna get in her way when she busts a caps lock in your ass:

You don’t wanna see her when she’s turnt. It’s kind of like what happens you turn in the Walking Dead.

I’ve seen a lot of movies that start off like this. They usually last 20 minutes and end in guilt and shame. On my part. Just sayin.

Keep in mind she also has a child, who she luckily does not have custody of. Neither does the baby daddy because of course he’s in jail.

Don’t worry though, she don’t need no man!!

You don’t need no man when you got ample amounts of 100 emojis!! frfr!! Of course it’s also easy to raise a child when someone else is raising your child for you. Don’t worry though, she shows up at the really important things:

OK then.

She’s also a freelancing stripper with VERY high standards:

Strippers sniffing coke in the dressing room? Oh yea, she’s WAY above that. It’s not like she’s the type of broad to message Worcester’s Top News Outlet and ask to see if she can buy zannies off of us.

Not only is she a stripper who looks down on other strippers, she MAY also be a backpage hooker who looks down on other backpage hookers….

True that girl. Jessica never brings her 8 year old with her on jobs. Largely because she hasn’t seen the child in months. This makes her a good Mom!!

Speaking of Moms, looks like she was about to be a Mom again:

What do you do to cure morning sickness if you’re pregnant? Get more drugs!!

Just don’t be shocked when this happens:

Please God, just tell me she was lying about being pregnant. That would really make my day right about now. Because the thought of this penis fly trap killing her own child because of her own selfish habits is just too much Internet for one day. And it’s not even noon yet.

Anyway Jessica, I’m sure you’re reading this and I know you blocked us so we can’t message you. But we would LOVE to give you a chance to share your side of the story by coming on Turtleboy Live this Sunday night at 10 PM. You pretty much say WHATEVER you want. Not even kidding either. We don’t censor ANYTHING. You can totally give turtle riders a piece of your mind. Fight them all, I don’t care. And you wouldn’t be the first stripper either. Back in May we had the infamous Revere stripper on who called us in between lap dances at the 5:00 mark:

This could be you. Make it happen. Unblock the turtle and message us please.

 

 

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12 Comment(s)
  • Kara
    October 5, 2017 at 9:12 am

    Alright I get it she pissed you off when she hit you up for drugs but now hour just bring a bully. I look forward to reading this blog everyday. But let this one go. Move on .

    • Sue
      October 5, 2017 at 1:33 pm

      It probably would have been over with, if she Let it be, but instead she insisted that TB approached her to sell her pills. When in fact she was willing to mesg just about anyone for them. Obviously or she wouldn’t have mesg TBS. A very well known blog. That’s why they keep writing about her. She keeps running her mouth so they will keep Digging up more and more. I’d be quite if I was her, she looks like one to have a lot more skeletons ready to drop. Just saying 😉

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    October 5, 2017 at 4:27 am

    Strippers do coke? YOU DON’T SAY!

    Backpage hookers make bad decisions? NOOOOOO…

    Clearly we’re missing something because none of this adds up!

  • duhuh
    October 5, 2017 at 12:28 am

    From the strip club, under her rant about working there: “We apologize for the experience on Saturday…”

    THAT is the funniest part of all of this (of course, might not be saying much considering what a sad mess this is).

  • Finn
    October 4, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    I just had to look up what “fire” was. I’m so old. [kicks rock]

    • 3 for $15
      October 4, 2017 at 3:55 pm

      So am I cut I’m about to look it up as well. Look at it this way, we are not old we just travel a different path where words like that mean….. wow sitting by the fire on this beautiful night or HOLY SHIT GET OUT OF HERE THE PLACE IS ON FIRE! All we have to do is read TB and we will learn from the fucktards!!

      • 3 for $15
        October 4, 2017 at 3:58 pm

        Cut= *old wow don’t know how that happened! Guess I need my old people magnifying glass lol

        • Hughbo Mont
          October 4, 2017 at 5:05 pm

          Now I have to look it up. You couldn’t spill it here. Thanks.

          • Finn
            October 4, 2017 at 6:29 pm

            Sorry. But, take a gander at her face and body and make a wild guess what she enjoys. By “wild” I mean meth. Fun fact! While fire = meth, fir = weed. [insert ‘the more you know’ logo]

  • Sue
    October 4, 2017 at 12:21 pm

    Yup.. she is not a addict,she is a Junkie. And probably killed her own child because 9 months was too long to go without drugs. It takes 9 months to give a human a fucking life time. I have no respect for anyone who can’t give those 9 months to the innocent child they are carrying, that never even asked to be here to begin with. Nasty thing

    • Finn
      October 4, 2017 at 2:56 pm

      Something tells me that even if she continued with the pregnancy, she wouldn’t go without drugs. Is it a stretch to say she’s very self absorbed and wouldn’t care about the baby’s health? I think she killed her own child because pregnant women make less on the pole and as a prostitute (unless you’re into that type of thing).

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