All-Star Criminals

Pregnant Lawrence Kangapoon With 2 Kids Caught Stealing Christmas Packages From Tewksbury Doorsteps Is A “Very Independent Woman”

Pregnant Lawrence Kangapoon With 2 Kids Caught Stealing Christmas Packages From Tewksbury Doorsteps Is A “Very Independent Woman”

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WBZPolice have arrested a Lawrence woman for stealing packages delivered on doorsteps during the busy holiday shopping season. Jacquelin Suazo, 30, has been charged with three counts of larceny under $250 and one count of larceny over $250, police said. She was expected to be arraigned in Lowell District Court on Friday afternoon. In some of the incidents, package contents were stolen and empty boxes were found on a street a block from one of the victims’ homes. Police said Suazo, who is believed to be pregnant, was staying at a shelter in Lawrence. Police said they later identified her as the suspect after receiving a tip from the public that the suspect was staying at the shelter.

Lesson learned – you can never live TOO FAR from Lawrence. They know how to cross the Merrimack River. They will find you.

And in the least surprising turn of events ever she’s not only pregnant, she’s also got two other kids:

Shocking that someone who lives in a shelter, and has no means to care for herself seems to enjoy being pregnant so much:

Good thing we’re handing out free birthed control everywhere. That program’s obviously paying dividends.

It’s cool thought because she’s a “very independent women”:

Any by independent she means, “I don’t need no man to help me steal your Christmas packages in Tewskbury.”

It’s cool though because she saved France from the terrorists, so they judge will probably give her a pass due to her courage under fire:

Guaranteed this gutterslug is on all forms of public assistance. She keeps spitting kids out of her baby cannon, and every time she does she sees dollar signs because it means more cash from the state. We enable this type of behavior because our government likes to pretend people like her don’t exist. But all of us out here living in the real world see this on a daily basis and are disgusted by it. Hopefully people like her start hitting Jamie Eldridge’s home in Acton so asshats like him can see where all this taxpayer money is going to.

16 Comment(s)
  • Smalltown girl
    December 2, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    I know her family. Her first child was taken away from her due to negligence

  • Paul Casale
    Notmines
    December 2, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    Sign of a true gutterslug… uses the word “mines”.

    • Lisa
      December 4, 2017 at 9:46 am

      I hate when people use “mines.” Illiteracy is celebrated in this country.

  • Lynda Lapine
    Lolajack
    December 2, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    Independent women have jobs so they can support their own children and they don’t steal from other independent women who work. Now, was I not supposed to write that? I certainly wouldn’t want to be accused of racism or poor hating now would I?

  • TJB
    TJustice
    December 2, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    Two kids, one more anytime now….lives in a shelter; steals for a living. 1. I bet she has that ‘disease’ that’s keeping LPD so busy. 2. I would bet money this is just how her and thousands more like her live ‘back home on the island’.

  • Huwhite
    December 2, 2017 at 1:11 pm

    Clicked to see what color she was and imagine my shock! Lock up both her and the bonus future criminal festering in her cooze…two for the price of one!

  • Emmaline Greensward
    December 2, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    Another case where it’s a shame the judge can’t impose some tube-tying behavior, and a mandatory adoption order. I would cheerfully pitch in for that GoFundMe scheme. “Help This Independent Package-Snatcher Get Neutered!” Her kids deserve way better than her pathetic self.

    • itsjustme
      Itsjustme
      December 2, 2017 at 3:27 pm

      I agree. I also think if you’re already on welfare and get pregnant you shouldn’t get any extra money. Imagine how quickly these people would learn to use birth control if that were the case. Guaranteed the couple from the other day that lived in a van with their five kids wouldn’t have had one kid an average of one kid a year if they didn’t get more money every time they had another one.

      • itsjustme
        Itsjustme
        December 2, 2017 at 11:00 pm

        I really screwed that sentence up. Lol

  • mcf1122
    Ann Flaherty
    December 2, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    Independent women don’t live in shelters

  • Johnny Rocket
    December 2, 2017 at 11:54 am

    Just a tie bit on info that Lawrence straddles both sides of the Merrimack River. So in reality she wouldn’t have had to actually cross the river. She might be ascaid of bridges. Lol. So let’s not think that the river can be a deterrent as it’s not. She obviously has enough energy to get to Tewksbury. Surprising she just didn’t stay local in Andover where those gifts may be quite more expensive.

  • Bern
    December 2, 2017 at 11:50 am

    Would

    • ?
      December 2, 2017 at 1:36 pm

      not

  • Fed Up
    December 2, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Independent? Surely you mean reliant. Gee, you’d think having a smart phone and taking selfies in your best “going clubbing” outfit there’d be no need to steal from others. Go figure… Like the old song in West Side Story “Everything’s Free in America!”

    • itsjustme
      Itsjustme
      December 2, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      Or living in a shelter.

  • Irishcurse
    December 2, 2017 at 10:48 am

    While we may be upset at her actions the people of France honor her and her sacrifice of posting an overlay on her Facebook page. She is single handily defeating terrorism in their country

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