All-Star Criminals

Pubestachio Crashes Car Driving 111 MPH Evading State Cops, Abandons 2 Year Old Daughter In Backseat, Baby Momma Says He’s A Good Dad

Pubestachio Crashes Car Driving 111 MPH Evading State Cops, Abandons 2 Year Old Daughter In Backseat, Baby Momma Says He’s A Good Dad

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Maine is the closest thing we have to Florida in New England. Nothing but winners from the pine tree state. Including this poopface from Biddleford who crashed his car at 3 AM while driving 111 mph and evading the police……with his sleeping daughter in the backseat:

Oh good, he just got out of jail for domestic violence and Mom just hands him the child like it ain’t no thang. This was his most recent Facebook post:

Can’t make this stuff up. He may have fallen a lot by, ya know, going to jail, but he’s gonna get back up keep his family above all!! And by that he means try to kill them by evading the police at 3 AM. They will never struggle “do” to his decisions. Because children whose father’s are in jail almost always end up succeeding in life. He’s just “Got a” think long and hard about how he’s gonna stay out of prison next time.

Obviously the real problem here is the piece of shit who endangered his daughter and other drivers, but at the same time, who would ever willingly choose to procreate with this?

Literally nothing good can possibly come of that. He’s the complete dooshnozzle package. The only thing he’s missing is a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. Not that he doesn’t have plenty of other flat brimmed hats lying around the crib:

How is his name not Shane or Keith? He looks like every Shane or Keith who has ever wandered the halls of Monty Tech. Ever. You could cook a full course meal using just the oil saturated in in that pubestachio.

But yea, if you choose to let this guy toss his sludge pump in your tampon tunnel and willingly bear his children, I kind of blame you too. Reproducing with people like this is never a good idea. If you can’t figure that out on your own you probably should’ve had your tubes tied. Just sayin.

Some began to question the Mom on the Maine State Police’s Facebook page. Naturally Mom showed up to defend her honor:

He’s been a “good father” for the past two and a half years? Oh yea, definitely. He also just got out of jail for domestic violence. Lots of good Dads take vacations from their children to do stints in county jail for domestic violence. Plus, only God can judge!!

Sorry Sabrina, but judge you we will. You didn’t let him have visitation with your daughter because you didn’t think he’d do this? He literally just got out of jail. Normal people don’t go to jail. Sorry Dustin….

I could’ve told you there was a good chance this would happen. Yes, Shane is the real problem here, but it takes two to tango.

Meanwhile Sabrina has hijacked her porridge gunner’s Facebook page and seems to be cutting ties with him completely:

 

Newsflash – you knew he was a junkbox when you handed your child over to him. You don’t get to play the angry and concerned mother after the fact. Especially since the rest of his wall is full of lovey dovey bullshit:

You sure didn’t mind when he was bragging about what a great mother you were, and shitting on his other baby momma “Christopher” in the process:

How bad is your life when you’re the runner up baby Momma for this thing?

Hey Sabrina, the signs were all there. You voluntarily got knocked up by a grown man who writes like this:

It’s like Chapter 2 of Flowers for Algernon. 

He’s also one of these “dads”:

I really despise these hardo dads who feel the need to let you know how badly they’ll fuck you up if you screw over their daughter. I hated them when I was dating, and I hate them now. It’s even worse when they themselves are shitty fathers to begin with. Hey dipshits, if you really respect your daughter then trust her decision making skills. We get it, you’re a badass and you’ll totally go to prison if I chew and screw with her. My intention wasn’t to do that, and I think it’s kind of implied that if you mess with someone’s daughter the father won’t take too kindly to it. So way to make things uncomfortable for me and the daughter you profess to care so much about. It’s totally about her, not you.

Anyway, I feel like we need a Maine blogger, because people like Michael Messier aren’t the exception, they’re the rule in Maine.

15 Comment(s)
  • Jinxie
    November 18, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    I hope to God that this guy ends up being a pincushion for some inmate named Big Daddy.
    I procreated with an amazing father who doesn’t beat me or go to jail, or feels the need to shout out how he’s a badass daddy (he is though). Guess what, it wasn’t hard to find a man like him because I’m not a self-serving slugpump.

  • Concerned mother
    November 18, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    It’s not fair to bash the mother for allowing a visit with that sperm donor! No one knows the court arrangements, family court sucks and it could have been forced on her. Now that this happened let’s hope the courts open their eyes and allow the mother to keep the child away from this loser. My daughter’s father beat her up while drunk we had him arrested obviously, because she was young and scared she refused to testify against him in open court so they had to drop the charges! Not fair to try and force a young child to testify in open court with the accused looking at them. Yrs while waiting for the court date yes we had a restraining order. Once the charges were dropped I was forced by the courts to send her back for visits including sleepovers!! If not I was threatened with jail. So why bash this mother for something she may not have had control over?

    • Jinxie
      November 18, 2017 at 5:10 pm

      Nah bruh, check it out; if it’s proven that a parent has been abusive or otherwise unfit, visitations are typically not allowed and if they are, they’re supervised. Family court has court appointed special advocates (CASA) for children with abusive parents, advocates like myself. We work out what’s in the best interest of the child. No one in their right mind is letting an abusive alcoholic see their kid unsupervised, unless someone isn’t telling the whole truth.
      This chick here didn’t tell the truth about his abusive past when it came to visitation arrangements because she still just loves her man’s! Somewhere in her Stockholm Syndromed mind, she knew her baby wasn’t safe.
      Courts don’t always dig as deep as they should into a parent’s past, but don’t play like these mothers who have this shit happen didn’t LET this shit happen.

  • Irishcurse
    November 18, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    He looks like he is the same height as Tyrion Lannister.

  • Ron
    November 18, 2017 at 11:43 am

    He says
    “I’ve grown into a grown ass man these past fiv3 y3ars”
    Hint: Grown ass men don’t use the number 3 for an E (among SO many other things)

    “Ima always keep my family above”

    REALLY?!?!?
    Busted for beating on his woman
    Days later spotted driving 111 mph with child
    Runs from the police, crashes, then ABANDONS HIS CHILD AND TOOK OFF ON FOOT
    (So lucky the vehicle didn’t roll while going down the embankment)

    “I wouldn’t take anything back that’s a fact”

    Wow.

  • Justice for All
    November 17, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    HUMONGOUS SHIT STAIN! I hope mom demands SUPERVISED visits. 111mph? Are you kidding me. If he hit anything, neither he or his daughter would be alive. He’d be at fault. His daughter would be an innocent victim killed by her shit stain loser wannabe father.

  • Poo
    November 17, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Nice capris.

    • Justice for All
      November 17, 2017 at 9:19 pm

      Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa….those shorts look like they are a 4T on a 2T toddler.

  • Maine Gangsta
    November 17, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    I see that the Bloods numbers must be way down if they’re now welcoming white trash sheep fuckers from small town Maine. Nice bandana and necklace, OG Infant Dick.

  • Johnny5
    November 17, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    He literally looks retarded. And so does Christopher Messier. Two ugly motherfuckers.

    • Seriously?
      November 17, 2017 at 8:04 pm

      Don’t insult the retarded folks please. These just be redneck hoodboogers.

  • Lou P
    November 17, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    Maine.
    The way life ….. should not be.

  • Mike Jones
    November 17, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    I’m all for mocking people’s shitty grammar, but you gotta clean up the grammar on these blogs a bit!

    “They will never struggle “do” to his decisions. Because children whose father’s are in jail almost always end up succeeding in life.”

    Clean it up!

  • AgingCynic
    November 17, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    Is it the pants or does he look like he’s been unemployed since the circus closed down?

  • Sentimental
    November 17, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    I love the picture of the proud father to be reaching around the Mom with his hand on her snatch. I know it’s a cliche but all parents should have at least one picture like that to show their children.

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