WTF

Question: Is This Guy Trying To Break Into Tatnuck Square House Or Is This A Misunderstanding?

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So on the “Your Probably From Worcester If” Facebook page, someone posted video of surveillance from the back and front of their house in the Tatnuck area of Worcester. For those of you not familiar with the Woo, Tatnuck is towards the border with Paxton, and is one of the safer areas of the city. However, the shooting/home invasion that occurred on Flagg Street isn’t far from there, so clearly the Summer of Love doesn’t respect boundaries. According to the home owner it’s some shady dude peering into their house. However, a small but vocal minority of commenters seem to think it’s some guy who could be lost or is looking for someone he knows or could just be a wandering man with autism. You be the judge:

 

 

LOL. This is what criminals look like on the West Side:

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A white guy with a curved brim hat, and the unforgivable combination of socks and flip flops. Looks like every dude I’ve ever seen from the West Side ever. But hey, a fiend is a fiend. And if people are trying to break into your house there’s a 99.9% chance it’s to fuel a drug habit.

Here’s the thing though, if this guy really was trying to break into this house, he’s probably the worst criminal in the history of mankind. For starters he drove and parked his car next to the house. Secondly, it’s 9:00 PM in this video, and it’s obviously on a busy street. Oh yea, there’s also a camera on the front porch. All those factors combined make this probably the worst target for a break in in the history of dumbass criminal behavior.

At the same time though, if the guy really was “looking for a friend” as some people hypothesize, wouldn’t the home owner recognize him? You don’t go to a man’s backyard and look in the windows if you’re not a regular guest in the house.

Personally, Turtleboy is with the majority on this one. I would bet my Nantucket horse ranch that this guy was casing the place. He obviously targeted this house because he’s been watching it. He saw there were motion light sensors and wasn’t phased by it in the least. He constantly had his cell phone out during the video for two main reasons:

  1. He wanted to make it look like he was trying to call his friend, who presumably lives in that house, because he knew it was on a busy street and people would be suspicious.
  2. He was taking pictures of the inside of the house so he could have a better plan when he comes to rob the place for real the next time. It’s basically what Joe Pesci did in home alone except he’s not dressed up as a cop.

So if you recognize this nudnik, call 508-799-8606 for the WPD non-emergency dispatcher. Even if it is all just a big misunderstanding, then this guy should be allowed to clear his name. Because this video makes him look guilty as shit.

Internet badasses everywhere are commenting on how this guy would’ve got shot in the face if he came on their property like that. Hey Rambo, comments like that are the reason that gun control exists. Because you can’t just randomly shoot some guy that walks onto your property. This isn’t Goddamn Bosnia. Was he acting incredibly shady? Sure. But that doesn’t mean you have the right to blow his head off. Guns should be for responsible owners only. And anyone who says they would’ve shot this guy in the face definitely is not a responsible enough person to own a gun.

Look, I don’t really have strong feelings either way about gun control. I guess I can see both sides of it. But as for me, I’d rather have a bat. Because if Turtleboy Jr. somehow gets a hold of my bat there’s only so much damage he can do. I am way too forgetful and irresponsible to be a gun owner.

But if a guy like this comes onto my property and I walk outside with a Louisville slugger, he’s gonna think he came to the crazy guy with the bat’s house. No one ever fucks with a guy with a bat. Plus I have a tendency to sleep walk and there is a 98% chance that if I owned a gun I would wake up in the middle of the night and try to brush my teeth with it. No thanks, I’ll stick with the bat.

Lastly, can we talk about this comment for a minute:

Screen Shot 2015-08-24 at 2.03.17 PM

If you know Celeste, please reach out to her because clearly she needs your help if she still thinks the Telegram and Gazette would EVER give two shits about a story like this. Now that we’ve written about it Sam Allen will have something up within the next 72 hours, but by then it will be old news. The bottom line here is that poor Celeste obviously is unfamiliar with the Turtleboy Sports Revolution. Be a good friend and let her know who you call when you want real news reported.

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16 Comment(s)
  • oneopinion
    Hanginpossum
    September 2, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    I guarantee if he got caught on the spot he would have said he was looking for the homeowner selling magazines or some shit and had the forms on him. I caught one of these brats in my garage and he said he was selling magazines for college money. I asked which college and he said it was the same college I happened to graduate from. I asked him to name the dorm he lived in but he forgot. There were other college aged kids in the same neighborhood on the same day with the same story.

  • Ula
    August 26, 2015 at 1:53 am

    Looks like he was told to wait n meet someone there, so he’s wandering around, wondering if he’s at right address….doublechecks his phone…yup, he’s at right house…so he peeks in window quickly… So , like, where’s the guy at? (Or girl).
    He paces around a bit..not sure if he’s been punked…then decides he looks suspicious…. So shuffles off in his flip flops.
    Looks like that to me, anyway….ymmv

  • ALex
    August 25, 2015 at 10:24 am

    You may know or not know this but you can shoot someone if they show up on your property in the middle of the night in Florida. You don’t need to go all the way to Bosnia to get that right. Cheers

  • Mayor Petty
    August 25, 2015 at 7:40 am

    Alright Everyone. Let me clear things up. That’s the guy I send out to take down Gaffney for Mayor lawn signs. If you don’t put out any Gaffney signs you won’t have to worry.

  • Fist
    August 24, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    That’s actually a pretty smart way to dress if he’s casing the place. A guy that looks like that has a million excuses to be snooping around… “Is this Danny’s house? Oh, no? Sorry! Must be a few houses down.” “Sorry! I’m really fucking stoned.” “Whoa! I’m drunk and all the houses look the same. Do you know where the -insert Irish last name here- live?”

    It’s definitely unfair to say anything about Autism in this, not even sure why that was necessary. Not to mention, “Have you seen my baseball?” Is a really bad excuse to be in someone’s backyard at night. 😛 For real though, you’re giving Autistic people a bad name in regards to this goofball he probably got the wrong address for a new pot dealer.

  • fordsnharleys
    Tngsucks
    August 24, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Maybe some girl he was hot on gave him the wrong address to pick her up.

  • Joe Besser
    August 24, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    Looks like a character from Field of Dreams. Build it and they will come.

  • Frogshit
    August 24, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Okay… I’m gonna’ throw in another perspective here… I could be wrong but….

    I’m wondering, dressed the way the dude is, if maybe the old lady sent him out looking for the lost cat? Puppy? Guineu Pig?
    The guy , for starters looks way too stupid to be bustin’ into houses. If you notice, in the back yard anyways, he’s looking away from the house, not into it. The part where he peers in the window is perhaps, in his mind, “Fuck, if these people catch me snoopin’ around I might get my fuckin’ nuts blown off….” Just don’t seem like the “case” to me?

  • But seriously
    August 24, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Can we stop assuming that everyone who’s acting a little weird has autism? Someone at work once showed unusual interest in me, and I was told by others “he’s probably autistic.” He turned out to be legitimately stalking me and had a big substance abuse problem and a history of violence. It’s not fair to actual autistic people to just lump them in with criminals, and it’s not safe to just assume that suspicious behavior is due to an illness and let it slide.

  • Ben
    August 24, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    If I find this dude, or one like him, in my kitchen, he*s gonna come face to face with
    my Smith 40.

  • August 24, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    I usually agree with you on your posts but ease up on the gun BS. Just because you and your wife prefer a flyswatter and a can of raid, doesn’t mean the rest of us do. You want to not get shot breaking into someone’s home? There’s actually a pretty easy solution to that problem…

    • Dude
      August 24, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      Easy there, Annie Oakley, he didn’t say anything about taking your guns away. He just said that they weren’t for him and he understands why there are gun control laws.

      I happen to agree with him. I don’t want guns in my house, mostly cause I don’t trust myself to ensure they are always locked up in a way my kids can’t get to them (and my kids are too smart for me, they want something they find a way to get them). With that said, I have zero intention of ever limiting other’s access to them. Just because I don’t want them around doesn’t mean that everyone should hate them too. It is a major problem I find when talking any sort of politics with people. Everyone believes that their personal feelings, values, and life outlooks should be what everyone else uses. What you believe and what the country (or state, or city) should do are to different things (even if they sometimes match up). I usually use abortion as an example. I hate the idea of abortions (as birth control), but I have no desire to take that right away from others. I don’t like it, but the people do and they want it. People want guns, they should get them. You prefer to defend your home with a bat over a gat? Choke up and swing for the stars!

      • August 24, 2015 at 3:39 pm

        Well put, and I couldn’t agree more. We’re on the same page, Dude.

        • Dude
          August 24, 2015 at 4:00 pm

          Sorry if I misread your post, then.

  • Nanny
    August 24, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    TB – just because you don’t trust yourself with firearms doesn’t mean they should be kept away from those of us who are up to the responsibility.

    That said, I absolutely agree that trespassing does not constitute an imminent threat to my person or anyone else and is not sufficient justification to draw, let alone fire.

    Breaking and entering in the night time is a different story. We are a castle doctrine state. We can do what we have to do to protect ourselves and our families in our dwellings. My house is alarmed and rigged with floodlights. I have cameras positioned to look back at the house from various points in the yard. I am also licensed to carry.

    It’s cliche but when seconds count, the police are minutes away.

    • August 24, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      Try reading it again. Nowhere does it say tb wants to take away anyone’s right to buy a gun. It’s as middle ground as you get.

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