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So last summer I went up to Hampton Beach for a Snoop Lion concert with two cops and a teacher. Needless to say we were easily the biggest squares there. But while showering one of my associates noticed that I brought a loofah and body wash instead of bar soap. They all proceeded to make fun of me for being a girl, which of course is now considered “bullying.”
If you’re not familiar, here is what the two options look like:
First of all, it’s not a loofah and body wash, it’s my man sponge and babe sauce. Secondly, there’s absolutely nothing feminine about it. If you’re not using a man sponge and babe sauce, you’re an uncivilized barbarian. Bar soap? Dude, this isn’t 1943. Rationing is over. We can have nice things now. I used to be a bar soap guy but then I realized how much it sucked to have dry skin and always smell like dishwashing detergent.
You know what never happens with a loofah? It never slips out of your hand. You know what a loofah doesn’t do? Leave a disgusting pile of residue in the shower where it sits.
The day I first started using my man sponge and babe sauce was invigorating. It was like when you first get a Facebook account. Why wasn’t I using this a long time ago? Why did I fight this obviously good thing for so long? It’s because a bunch of squares will make fun of you. Well, my skin is smooth and I smell like a freaking champion. So that makes me the winner.
What do you think? Bar soap or man sponge and babe sauce? Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.
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3 Comment(s)
The loofah is gay. Just use your hands with the body wash. Perfect balance of pragmatism and cleanliness.
And where the hell did you get that washcloth picture? That looks like a pot holder you found behind your stove that someone lost back there in 1974.
Pansy