Instructions: Vote for which ratchet you think should advance to the second round. Links to their stories are bolded if you’d like to read up on them. I’ve put together a bulleted ratchet resume for each contestant on TB Daily News which you can read by clicking here.
1. Lorrayna Calle vs. 16. Direnzo’s Towing
16. Direnzo’s Towing
8. Can’t Jemima vs. 9. Duck Lipped Platypus
8. Can’t Jemima
4. Revere DCF Junkies vs. 13. Peabody Momma Meatflaps
5. New Bedford Dog Abuser vs. 12. Mia Curtatone
12. Mia Curtatone
3. Camel Tow Truck Girl vs. 14. Adam Walker
14. Adam Walker
6. Brockton Poontang Plow vs. 11. Chicopee Trigylceride Trap Queen
11. Chicopee Trigylceride Trap Queen
7. Hep Semen Demon vs. 10. Nashua Nut Serpent
2. Weymouth Wenchstain vs. 15. Punky Chewster
15. Punky Chewster
You have 24 hours to vote.
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9 Comment(s)
Some of those were tough. Either way Kate’s going to win since she’s the dumbest ratchet ho of them all
I went back and read a bunch of the original blogs on these vag-trumpets.
Found an old limerick of mine that I had forgotten, about the Nashu Nut Serpent’s hardo “Guido Dave Matthews” dad (who threatened Unc over his burner phone), which I’m very proud of and got her my vote for the next round.
Here’s the limerick from that blog:-
The father of ratchet Kiana
Is a wannabe Tony Soprana
But he sits all alone
Making threats on the phone,
As he plays with his small, pink banana.
DS 😀
It’s just the flu
Ratchet Madness is a depressing reminder of just how much of humanity is loathsome.
But man is it fun. Thank you Unc for putting this together. Especially during this Covid hysteria.
I hope it’s just my phone but a stop and shop ad is blocking a vote button. it just won’t go away.
LMAO i forgot all about Mia Curtatone. So did her kid come out retarded or whatever she was claiming?
I remember last year during the ratchet madness awards uncle was breaking it down with the Chicago Bull’s theme song on repeat throughout the duration. Classic.
That same music was used on the night the brackets were announced, on last Thursday’s podcast.
It’s called “Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project – and I can’t get the damn tune out of my head since then.
Booyah!!