Reader Email: I Broke Up With My Boyfriend And Then Got Upset When I Went Through His iPad And Found Out He Signed Up For Dating Sites And Wasn’t Hung Up On Me
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A couple weeks ago we toyed with the idea of Turtleboy sharing love stories from turtle riders and us giving our honest opinion on them. Well today we got this in the mailbox from a chick going through a break up (names have been changed):
Hello, I just got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship. For the past few months, my boyfriend Jiggaroach and I have been fighting a lot and deep down it just didn’t seem like he was the one for me. But, he continued to say things like “Laqueefa, I love you and wanna spend the rest of my life with you” and all that NONSENSE. From my perspective we had different views on a lot, but we seemed like the perfect couple. He was looking to settle down, buy a house etc- but I wasn’t ready for that just yet. We decided that breaking up would be best a few days ago.
Well, as I was packing my belongings up in our apartment tonight he left his iPad out. So just being a girl, I decided to browse and see if there was any discussions with his friends about our relationship being over etc. Nothing at all about our relationship. Just texts to a bunch of ratchet girls. I also happened to see he had 4 dating apps downloaded on his phone- even better he used the name “Kevin Lynch.” It breaks my heart to see that this activity started back in October and I am kicking myself for not knowing. He never acted suspicious or anything, I always trusted him. Never in a million years would I have expected this. On numerous occasions he told me he’d jump in front of a bullet for me. But why do that when you can cheat instead?
Anyways, I ripped up all the memories we had in pictures and every last memory of him. His last name happens to be Guttermuppet and it fits him well – he’s a real dick. I am trying to make this go viral to destroy the minimal reputation he had and as a lesson for any girls having doubts in their relationships. Can you please help? Let me know if you need more information! I have pictures of some of the conversations he has had on the apps.
Alright first of all, I immediately sided with the guy as soon as I saw this:
Well, as I was packing my belongings up in our apartment tonight he left his iPad out. So just being a girl, I decided to browse and see if there was any discussions with his friends about our relationship being over etc.
“Just being a girl.” Nah, that’s just being a nosy psycho. You already broke up with him at this point. You have no right to go through any of his shit. It’s none of your business what he’s doing. Both of you should be looking towards the future, but instead you’re dwelling on the past.
And she seemed genuinely upset about what she found:
“Nothing at all about our relationship.”
Wait…..you mean he’s not texting all his friends and crying himself to sleep about the breakup? Because that’s exactly what she wanted to find. And then when she didn’t find it she assumed that he didn’t care about her.
As for the dating apps and text messages to alleged “ratchets,” what do you expect him to do? He realized you were a dead end street. Dude was looking at his five year plan, as anyone in their mid to late 20’s, or early 30’s would do. If you’re 27 or 28 and you’re single, you have to realize that if you start dating a chick now and you end up getting married, you’re not gonna have any kids until you’re at least 31 or 32. And that’s if you fast track it. The guy realized that every day was precious and since it clearly wasn’t working out with you he might as well get started looking for the next one. And more power to him.
Then there’s this:
“He was looking to settle down, buy a house etc- but I wasn’t ready for that just yet.”
Translation – he wanted a woman he could marry and start a family with, and I was like, “But what about Friday nights at the Blarney?” This is a rarity by the way. A situation where the guy wants to settle down but the girl doesn’t. That should be a red flag for dudes everywhere. Under no circumstances should it ever be you trying to convince her to settle down. It should always be the opposite. Men need to be tamed by a good woman, not vice versa.
Lastly, the fact that this chick thought this was “viral” worthy, makes me believe this dude is making the right choice. There’s nothing in this letter that outright says he cheated. Nothing. And even if there was, so what? That’s not “viral” worthy. Not even close. People get cheated on all the time. You’re not special. And anyone who is willing to use Turtleboy as a vehicle to destroy you because she opened up your iPad and saw that you started a preempive dating profile is someone you should stay far, far away from.
Anyway, as you can see we chose not to drag either of these two people into this by listing their names. I think if we wanna keep doing blogs like this in the future we’re gonna have to change the names or else people will be hesitant to send us stories. Just understand that if you do send us your stories we will not blow you up, because we appreciate the risk you’re taking by messaging us. We wanna be able to give our advice and hear back from turtle riders without destroying innocent people. So don’t be bashful, and sent us your stories and Dr. Turtleboy will give you the best advice you’ve ever gotten.
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