Hoodrat Heroes

Revere Mayor Brian Arrigo Wins Re-Election Despite Fervent Support From Turtleboy Famous Revere Rapper, Billy Baggz

I had the pleasure today of having the story of the recent Revere Mayoral Election recounted to me by a resident of Revere. About halfway through I was able to fully discern that this was not the plot to a Martin Scorsese film, but instead an actual, real life event that transpired in Revere, where two mayoral candidates went head-to-head in a battle to reign supreme over one of the shittiest ratchet havens in all of Massachusetts, the birthplace of this fine specimen, Turtleboy hoodrat hero Billy Bagnara, AKA, “Billy Baggz”.

 

Ah, Billy. We’ve missed you so. Billy’s been hard at work filming shitty music videos for even shittier songs, like this fun little melody entitled “12 Steps Of The Streets”,

 

Which conveniently left out the 13th step of the street – getting jammed out of your skull and behind the wheel of a car with no valid driver’s license.

Damn, who woulda thunk it?

 

So naturally, having found himself on the wrong side of the law yet again, Billy took the logical next step and picked himself up, cleaned up his act, and got involved in local politics. Just kidding. He inserted himself into one of the dirtiest local elections I’ve ever heard of, and went hard supporting this fuckin’ guy.

Snitches get stitches.

 

Billy’s career in politics has turned out to be just as illustrious as the rap career he once attempted to abandon his family to pursue, as can be seen in the constant, rambling posts he spewed all over the internet in a baffling attempt to, uh…help….Arrigo’s campaign?

 

It’s an election, Billy, not 8 mile. Leave your shitty rap lyrics at the door. Fuck’s sake.

This one has to be my favorite, though.

 

What is it that you do for work, Billy?

 

Oh, right. Almost forgot!

Being the self-motivated and professional go-getter that he is, Billy wasn’t content just posting word salad topped off with an excessive amount of hashtagged nonsense on Facebook. Oh, no. He really put his boots on the ground and hit the streets to help the Arrigo campaign even more. Like, when he mocked a suicide victim the day after he was found deceased in a totally well thought out attempt to make Arrigo’s opponent look bad:

 

Or when he verbally accosted a confused-looking elderly gentleman,


Because if you won’t fight someone’s grandpa for your candidate, do you even local politics, bruh?

And of course, no successful mayoral campaign until an out-of-control lunatic junkie commits malicious damage to a motor vehicle, right out in the open and on camera, all in the name of reelection.

 

 

Now that’s some great optics!

Any sane individual hoping for any semblance of longevity for their political career would know to drop this clown faster than Billy dropped his own responsibilities as a father and stay even further away. But apparently not Brian Arrigo, because when your constituents consist of people like this:

There’s no sport at all to the race unless you openly embrace a lunatic or two, and allow someone like Billy to cling to the delusion that he is somehow an actual functioning adult deserving of respect and admiration.

 

 

If you think I’m being harsh about the city of Revere – I’m not. Because somehow, despite all of Billy’s best efforts to tank the campaign worse than he tanked his red-hot career as Revere’s best rapper with a revoked license and smack addiction, Arrigo won. And the victory speech Billy gave on his behalf is just magnificent.

 

So classy. I imagine the DNC will be calling him up any day now to start leading the charge against Trump. He’s certainly one hell of an asset to any campaign.

 

26 Comment(s)
  • Rte2tentresident
    November 18, 2019 at 5:07 pm

    Revere is full of low-lifes, including elected officials past and present. The past 2 mayors are constantly talking shit about each other 12 year olds. They also both have their dirt bag constituencies. Don’t get excited when someone calls you up to tell you they have shit on one or the other, it’s probably bullshit. Or maybe every story is true, it’s Revere, who cares?

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 14, 2019 at 8:49 am

    All the beauty and poise of a snapping turtle this moron has. He looks constipated in that top pic with the typical flat brim which is rotated sideways. A grown man wearing a ball cap turned sideways is just so unique…like the other arrested development half-wits. Get back to your video games, dipshit, and leave the old fellers alone.

  • Billy big mouth
    November 14, 2019 at 7:11 am

    Lin vu is my little Asian bitch
    So nobody better touch him when I’m in jail ratting people out!

  • Revere Faggot
    November 13, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    Billy Bagz likes himself alotta fags

  • Blu Oyster
    November 13, 2019 at 12:03 pm

    He looks like he’s takin’ a THICK one up the ass in that top photo.

  • Judge Smails
    November 13, 2019 at 5:33 am

    Billy, Billy, Billy……

    What a sad excuse for an adult.

  • Vin Lu
    November 13, 2019 at 4:26 am

    Hi I’m Vin Lu
    I’m the little Asian that blows billyfagz
    Why you pick on my boyfriend billy
    He just a failed abortion you leave alone
    His mommy and daddy no beat him enough when he kid. Billy get promise job from mayor! Where is billyfagz job!!!
    Ok I go suck billyfagz off now bye

  • Shitbaggz
    November 13, 2019 at 4:14 am

    He touches young girls
    Beats the shit out of his girlfriends
    Threatens women and old men
    Abandoned his kids
    Smokes meth, crack, and shoots dope
    But the Mayor of Revere is friends with shitbaggz and had him on his campaign? Why Mr Mayor of Revere?

  • Shitbaggz
    November 13, 2019 at 4:09 am

    He touches young girls
    Beats the shit out of his girlfriends
    Threatens women and old men
    Abandoned his kids
    Smokes meth, crack, and shoots dope
    But the Mayor of Revere is friends with shitbaggz and had him on his campaign? Why Mr Mayor of Revere?

  • Daniel Sullivan
    The Real Shane Hoban
    November 12, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    Billy Bags? Yea right more like Billy Fags. That’s right I’m back in the bean bitches and cracking jokes and cracking heads you fucking turtle riding little bitches. Wait till I find out names mother fuckers. I’m Shane Fucking Hoban. Boston’s hottest up and coming comedian you pussies. I slay women all day kehd. Everyone knows me you all couldn’t kill me I’m to famous. I’m a beast I come on stage with a hockey mask cause I be killing it. Fuck you turtle bitches. IM BACK IN THE BEAN!!!!

  • Shocker
    November 12, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    It’s typical for this.

  • Brett Weir
    November 12, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    I saw the name RIZZO. Where’s FRANK RIZZO?? He’ll straighten out this mess… is he still selling cars????

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Old Tom Morris
      November 12, 2019 at 9:13 pm

      He’s on an insulator job and he not using one of those little shit breathers either.

    • Christopher Lettiere
      November 13, 2019 at 9:55 am

      You rang?

    • Christopher Lettiere
      November 13, 2019 at 9:58 am

    • I Wanna Sue You For Hurt Feelings
      November 13, 2019 at 5:59 pm

      He was last seen popping wheelies with his 18 wheeler.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Liawatha
    November 12, 2019 at 8:48 pm

    I’m so glad Billy got in the face of that old white Trump supporter! Good job Billy! Don’t let them get away with it.

  • Judge dread
    November 12, 2019 at 8:44 pm

    If nick notle’s liver could talk what would it say? I’m tired of pissing blood.

    If Whitney Houston’s crack pipe could talk what it say? Her greatest love of all was crack not music.

    If you drove around route 1 near East Boston and revere in the last few years the whole area has been built up with luxury condos.

    He was only re-elected cuz of he housing/construction boom and encore which boosts the unrealized property gains (ie the assessed or Zillow price) so everyone gets a hard on. The same thing with SMV with over inflated home prices.

    Once the bubble bursts- these fucks are gonna get booted out when your house value drops 30% and your property taxes stay the same for the next 5 years.

    Didn’t anyone learn this lesson 10 and 20 years ago?

  • Billy Baggz
    November 12, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    I’ll end up dead or in prison for child rape.

  • george costanza
    The angry taint
    November 12, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    was kinda bumpin along to the 12 steps video…..jus sayin

  • Billy bags' dead dad
    November 12, 2019 at 6:48 pm

    I am very disappointed in Billy….

  • TortugaNiño
    November 12, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    If methadone mile could speak… it would sound just like this asshole.

    I hope the next 12 steps he takes are on a 10 step long pier.

  • Y
    November 12, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    Dude deserves a beatdown for how he treated that old man.

    What happened to respect your elders?

    • Batman
      November 13, 2019 at 2:03 pm

      Just another thing in our culture that is disappearing, common decency and respect. Makes me sick to think some chud is mistreating the elderly. Who the fuck does that shit? You hold the door for them and assist whenever possible. Unless you’re a useless POS. The greatest generation is rolling over in their graves, sickening.

  • Daniel Sullivan
    Sprinkle Pig
    November 12, 2019 at 6:01 pm

    It’s like he’s that kid in 5th grade that thought it would be cool to wear a flat brim hat and sag his pants. But we all knew he was a fucking loser. Then he slipped bumped his head and mentally stayed in that 5th grade mindset. No one has the heart to tell him that when he walks into a room and he wondered was everyone laughing at me. Yes yes we are laughing at you. You are a fucking loser.

  • hartf811
    Lowlife clowns
    November 12, 2019 at 5:46 pm

    There is no “I” in Revea

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