All-Star Criminals

Rhode Island Hog Jockey Steals Business Checkbook, Rips Off Local Businesses, And Might Be Stupid Enough To Have Used Her Real Name, Let’s Find Her

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Time for another round of “To Catch A Ratchet.” Today’s episode comes out Providence, where a local hog jockey made a very expensive hair appointment, ran up the bill to $2,800, and used a checkbook she’d stolen from another business to pay for it.

So I had no idea how any of this works before writing this blog, but evidently when a business owner accepts a check and then the owner of the account it’s drawn on reports their checkbook has been stolen, the bank takes the money back from the business owner even if it’s been deposited. On top of that Jaclynn Kate Salon’s business account was also frozen, leading right up to the Christmas season. Luckily this sybian sucubus agreed to have the back of her head photographed by the hairdresser, and the twatsicle didn’t think ahead and realize that her face would be seen clearly in the mirror.

They also got pictures of her looking at pictures on one of the two cell phones she had with her.

Anyone recognize that guy?

Here’s where it gets tricky. She evidently made the appointment using the name Lauren Lombardi, but used a business checkbook that she’d stolen from another business.

They assumed that the criminal wouldn’t be dumb enough to use her real name, and another woman named Lauren Lombardi showed up in the comments to let them know it wasn’t her.

They kept sharing this picture, claiming that it was the skag who robbed them.

Notice she’s using the skinny girl filter there to hide the thicky-icky. That’s definitely her though. Evidently they got this image by searching for Lauren Lombardi on social media and found it on Venmo. Of course this was confusing because I was under the impression that Lauren Lombardi was an alias she was using. Why would someone use their real name if they were committing check fraud? This led to a very confusing back and forth between me on the Clarence account and whoever runs their business page, and ended up with one gigantic popsicle headache.

Then finally the missing piece of information that was not in the original post was relayed to me.

OK so the people who she paid using a Venmo is probably information that could’ve avoided this headache. Nevertheless, it appears as if this moron was dumb enough to use her real name. There are multiple Lauren Lombardi’s in Rhode Island, and one of them seems to operate a hair salon. But according to Jaclynn Kate that’s not her.

Either way, I’m baffled on this one. The checks were stolen from Montrose Investments. All I know is this woman robbed the place:

Her name might be Lauren Lombardi, or else she’s trying to frame someone named Lauren Lombardi. But her Venmo is under the name Lauren Lombardi. And if you no one recognizes her, maybe someone recognizes one of her friends.

Or the people she was looking at pictures of on her phone.

Bottom line is someone has to know who she is. Email turtleboysports@gmail.com or message us on Facebook if you think you know.

31 Comment(s)
  • Where's Matlock?
    December 30, 2018 at 12:18 am

    Now the salon has updated their FB page and is claiming that it is a woman of a DIFFERENT name, also from Venmo.

  • So how exactly
    December 30, 2018 at 12:12 am

    Headline should be, “Woman uses fake checks to buy fake hair, fake lashes, fake brows, fake nails….”

  • So how exactly
    December 29, 2018 at 11:53 pm

    1. Whole story sounds fugazi.
    2. Who on earth takes checks, from someone you don’t know, for $2800 of….anything?
    3. That wasn’t a pixie cut – that was a rat’s nest .
    4. Gal must be buying teeth bleaching for herself and everyone she knows…even the guy on her phone has fluorescent-white teeth.

  • iliketurtles
    December 29, 2018 at 9:32 pm

    the most frustrating part of this whole thing is how you didn’t understand the most basic information the girl was giving u lol

  • WHUD 100.7
    December 29, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    Undercover Angel…Midnight Fanasties…

  • StickyFingers
    December 29, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    Her name is Lauren CumBody and she takes on all cummers.

  • Roger Rabbit
    December 29, 2018 at 11:57 am

    The picture of the three girls looks like a cartoon. What app is that? They look fake

  • Stunt Penis
    December 29, 2018 at 7:18 am

    None of this story makes the slightest bit of fucking sense to me.

    Chick sitting in the salon chair does not look like she’s 110 pounds. Unless the top of her head only comes up to my belt buckle.

  • AgingCynic
    December 28, 2018 at 11:57 pm

    Quick Google of Montrose Investments brings up the Bullard family. (John was Mayor of New Bedford). Looks like someone with juice may want this thing to go away. Lots more to this, apparently. 

  • Clitty Litter
    December 28, 2018 at 8:52 pm

    Someone is about to get a TBS Lombardi Trophy!

  • Rejean Lemelin
    December 28, 2018 at 7:26 pm

    Jaclyn Kate doesn’t seem to bright, you would think she would have offered notable points of her communication with Lauren Lombardi to provide clues, but apparently she failed to mention them. I don’t know how someone could possibly spend $2800 in a hair salon and the owner of the salon not being somewhat suspicious? Idk, i just get a buzz cut at a barber shop for $10, but something smells fishy here and we can neither confirm or deny that Lauren Lombardi owns a vagina!

  • Turtz McGurtz
    December 28, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    That venmo conversation was a painful read. I kept going thinking that there was a “Eureka” moment where one of you explained it but nope.

  • Tom Blackburn
    December 28, 2018 at 1:27 pm

    Just jerked off 15-20 times to her pic. That said, I hope she gets raped!

    • AJ Baker Gropey Smurf
      December 28, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      My reaction and thoughts exactly.

      • kek
        December 30, 2018 at 9:58 pm

        Praise be to jesus

  • Vic
    December 28, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    No way that thing is 110 lbs. short hair like that she must just have come out of jail.

  • juror seven esq.
    December 28, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    I don’t know anything about hair salons, beauty parlors and the like but, how often does a stranger come in and drop $2,800.00 for services and products? I know most of those products they sell are way, way overpriced, but it seems like you’d have to fill a shopping cart if you spent half of the bill on products. How much was the tip?

    I’m going to say the salon owner has to take some of the fault with this. Perhaps she thought she had an easy mark and pushed a lot of the services and products.

    Google Montrose Investments and you’ll see they are legit with offices in several different states. I couldn’t find one in Rhode Island, closets was in Maryland.

    • Fo Sho
      Not wid my dick
      December 28, 2018 at 1:54 pm

      New Bedford

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    December 28, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    Wait. Is her name Lauren Lombardi?

  • Independent Thinker
    December 28, 2018 at 10:12 am

    Our law enforcement officials are not interested in prosecuting these types of crimes, which is why it happens so frequently. Identity theft should be a capital offense. The same goes for stealing from someone’s bank account. And if you impersonate someone from Social Security, the IRS, or the police, the death penalty should be applied. I wonder how many people have dropped dead of heart attacks or committed from one of these fraudulent phone calls demanding money.

  • TJB
    Tjb
    December 28, 2018 at 9:06 am

    Fingerprints. She must have held something in your hair shop. Maybe you can identify her phone(s) from the time she was on your server, or when she called before the appointment. There can’t be too many solve QX’s around….. And even if there are, contact all the Lexus dealers, or show them her pics in person.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    December 28, 2018 at 7:05 am

    She looks like every spoiled entitled bitch that ever existed! She does it because she can, Daddy will bail her out and she goes on her way. Driving a Silver Infinity because well, Dady bought it! Bitches like this ruin it for all the other women who have the looks, but dont feel entitled. I’m sure the company she stole from will prosecute, and the Hair Salon will probably get left out in the cold. Typical Douchebag. Yeah I know, we would all throw one into her, Me included, But I bet she would bitch all the way through it and then tell her friends how much we all suck in the sack. She is that type of bitch.

    • JimmyBooms
      December 28, 2018 at 8:09 am

      The Hair stylist that was robbed described the woman, “thief”, as being 110 lbs. Why is a 110 lb woman using fat girl Apps to look thinner?
      Those Apps should be outlawed. I have met several girls for the 1st time that looked nothing like the pics they were sending.

    • Richyrich
      December 28, 2018 at 10:20 am

      Not that I disagree with you that she looks like a spoiled Wypipo but you sound bitter. Get over whoever shit on you already

    • Drago
      December 28, 2018 at 10:21 am

      I hope they catch this scammer pig, but $2,800 for hair done? I’m not sure who’s the bigger bandit

  • ninja turtleboy
    December 28, 2018 at 6:14 am

    what i don’t understand is how someone watched this persons dog but doesn’t know if that’s her real name? where the fuck did you meet a complete stranger that you don’t even know their name but you can be trusted to watch their dog?

    i also don’t understand how someone could be ripped off via venmo considering it’s linked to personal bank accounts and credit cards. when you set up an account, a few cents is deposited into your bank and then you verify the amount to be sure it’s actually you. i doubt this extension headed ho also has a fake bank account to make all of this work, she has to be using her real name

    • It was me!
      December 29, 2018 at 7:14 pm

      The thief didnt use venmo at the hair salon. She paid using a stolen checkbook. She didnt use venmo. The hair salon owner looked up the name given to her on venmo, and found this picture of what she thinks is the same woman. How can you not follow that?? Wasnt very difficult.

  • Diversity is Cancer
    December 28, 2018 at 5:17 am

    Gypsy doing her thang!

    Hair extensions all part of her ever changing identity, stolen check book is hers opened with a false identity or printed off her own computer. Guessing she’s part of a crew and a pro, her hubby and cousin just happen to have some left over tar from a State Job and will pave your drive.

    • Richyrich
      December 28, 2018 at 10:24 am

      Interesting theory but it’s more likely just a crooked moron. Most of the time these check thefts are by ratchets feeding their addiction but it doesn’t seem so here, just a jerk going on a shopping spree

  • The vorlon
    December 28, 2018 at 3:01 am

    Giggitty giggity jizzsickles!!!

    • Donald Justin Trump
      December 30, 2018 at 10:03 pm

      i came

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