Who remembers these spunk dumplings?
Can you believe it’s been four months since we’ve last heard from Rizzy, the up and coming Billerica rapper? After blogging about his hilarious video shot in a school parking lot and filled with Bud Light, tramp stamps, and broken dreams, Rizzy decided to take down his hit single “Did it on my own.” We haven’t heard why, and quite frankly we’d love to have him back on to explain, because his first appearance on the live show was epic, and I was so excited to be the guest host that night.
If you’re wondering what Rizzy’s been up to over the last four months, the answer is, he got married to the snail trail in the video with him at the Somerville VFW, they got divorced a month later, and he’s still begging for people to buy tickets to his latest rap show.
According to him the only reason he got married in the first place was because she was insecure and he figured that getting hitched at the VFW would fix that.
That and the allegedly fake miscarriage.
He ain’t no sucka.
Think about that for a second.
More time for ho’s at the Red Roof Inn now.
Well, Rizzy is back on Turtleboy again because he’s been working on his street cred for his next album:
Chief Joseph Desmond announced today that two men have been arrested as a result of an investigation in to a string of car breaks earlier this month. On August 3, 2019, the Wilmington Police Department launched an investigation after six residents reported that their cars had been entered and items were taken during the overnight hours. During the course of the investigation, Detectives identified two suspects: Derek J. Koster, 23, of Wilmington; and Ryan J. Runyan, 24, of Billerica. Both Koster and Runyan have been arrested. Both men are being charged with:
Breaking & Entering in the Nighttime To Commit A Felony (6 counts)
Larceny Greater Than $1200 (1 count)
Larceny Less Than $1200 (3 counts)
Attempted Larceny (2 counts)
In addition, Koster will be charged with one count each of Receiving Stolen Property, Possession of a Stun Gun, and Improper Storage of a Stun Gun. Koster turned himself in at the Wilmington Police Department yesterday and was arraigned at Woburn District Court. Runyan will be arraigned later today after turning himself in to police this morning.
You know things are going well and you’re on top of the rap game when you’re breaking into cars in Wilmington with your boy who is also your backup dancer in your rap video that you took off of YouTube out of pure embarrassment. If his partner in crime Derek Koster sounds familiar that’s because he used to post all over the TBNews page with links to such reputable websites as “Turtleboy Sporks.”
What can I say? The man has life by the balls.
You may recognize him as Groupie #4 with the Bud Light on his dick in the background.
Keep in mind, the night that the cars were broken into he was trying to get someone to buy his $12 tickets.
Looks like sales didn’t go as planned so he had to come up with a creative way to pay the money he now owed for the unsold tickets.
Hit us up when you get out the can Rizzy. We’d love to have you back on the Live show.
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