Sports

San Antonio Spurs Broke The AC On Purpose To Cramp LeBron Because He’s a Dandy, According To Felger And Mazz Caller

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If you’re living in a cave in Antarctica you still probably know what happened to LeBron James in the Miami Heat’s Game 1 loss to the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals. The AC broke at the Spurs arena and it was over 90 degrees inside. This of course meant Bron-Bron got a cramp in the fourth quarter, was carried off the floor like Kerry fucking Strugg, and the Heat were outscored 21-7 from that point on in a 110-95 loss.

LeBron better hope the AC doesn’t break when he goes back home to Miami – they don’t have any real fans in that arena if it does.

For once we’re gonna agree with this stooge. Now let’s start by all agreeing that the Spurs OBVIOUSLY did this on purpose. You’d have to be a dumbass to believe their lies about the AC system magically breaking right before this. The caller brings up a good point about the American vs. Non-American thing. Does it get any softer than American sports that aren’t football? MLB and NBA are filled with weenies. The NHL obviously has real men that play in it, but none of them are from here. And the one’s who are, are from Buffalo. And Buffalo might as well be Romania.

Felger’s wrong though when he says the international flavor wasn’t an advantage. Felger’s obviously a moron, everyone knows that. So clearly he didn’t hear what Tony Parker had to say about playing in Europe

or Manu Ginobili playing in Argentina

Ginobili and Parker are just so cocky I love it. Their smug little smiles just prove everything the caller said. No AC? Think Manu gives a fuck? Nope.

Fact, not opinion. Tim Duncan played ball in the Virgin Islands growing up, Tiago Splitter in Brazil, Marco Belinelli in Italy, and Boris Diaw all over Europe. Those guys have played in conditions that LeBron could never even imagine. Even Matt Bonner has played through more extreme weather in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. So yea, obviously this was done on purpose. The Spurs knew damn well Bron-Bron would tap out, so they did what they had to do, and Lebron did exactly what they thought he would do.

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I’ve had leg cramps before and they suck. But they’re almost always my fault. Two years ago I ran the Boston Marathon in the 90 degree heat. It sucked, but I finished. You know what I was running for? Jack shit. Meanwhile this idiot is playing for the chance to make himself a fucking legend by three peating and this is what he does. I’m also a 13 year old boy of average stature while Bron-Bron is a 29 year old man in the shape of a Greek God.

And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with what the Spurs did either. That’s politics bitch. Was it fair when Richard Sherman sent a hooker to Peyton Manning’s room the night before the Super Bowl? Was it fair that Erin Andrews paid that guy to take naked pictures of her in order to advance her career? Nope. But that’s just how shit works in the big leagues. Kill or be killed.

With that said Bron-Bron just redefined everything that is wrong with this generation. Coaches can’t yell at kids because it’s mean and will hurt their feelings. Hell, Boston University and Holy Cross both suspended their coaches when they yelled at adult athletes, who were on scholarships to play there, disgraced their families by sucking it up on the court.

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So now we’ve get a new generation of losers like this who don’t know how to work through adversity. LeBron is the worst of all of them because he’s gotten by on the fact that he’s just faster and bigger than everyone else his entire life. But when the going get tough, this generation would rather sit down and have a pity party then win another championship.

The “everyone gets a trophy generation” has grown up, and this is what they’ve become. They like to win, but they just don’t wanna have to work too hard to do it. Morons like LeBron think championships just get handed to them. When he showed up in South Beach and promised not one, not two, not three…..he didn’t realize he’d actually have to work through pain in order to get them. He literally thought they’d just fall in his lap. But they didn’t. He earned it last year, and he earned it the year before with his performance in Game 6 against the Boston Celtics. You think all those championships just fell in Michael Jordan’s lap? Nope. And he had to play against actual assholes like Charles Oakley, Anthony Mason, Bill Lambier, and Charles Barkley. Think those guys weren’t elbowing him in the groin and sending hookers to MJ’s room the night before the big game? Fat chance.

Couple more thoughts. Bron-Bron is obviously on steroids right? Doesn’t this prove it? Mankind isn’t supposed to look like him until at least 2340. LeBron could win the Olympic Decathlon without doing any training. Well, at least if it’s room temperature. Everyone else was tired and hot out there, but Bron-Bron’s body was the only one that reacted in this way.

I honestly don’t think he was faking it. Why would he? He doesn’t gain anything from that, and he knows it will unleash a backlash. And of course LeBron is an ultra sensitive dooshnozzle who doesn’t like it when people say mean things about him. His body was telling him to stop because obviously his muscles are filled with juice that wouldn’t allow him to play. And he doesn’t have the ability to overcome that mentally, so this is what happened.

Lastly, why the fuck the are the Spurs gonna fix the AC for Game 2? What the hell is wrong with them? Turning the AC off at this point is a no-brainer. The Heat ironically cannot win in the heat. You have three more home games. That means you can’t possibly lose if you keep the AC off. Will it suck for the fans? Yea, the small fraction that have tickets. But those assholes can take one for the team, because losing to a dingleberry like LeBron and watching him three peat on your court will suck a million times more than being in a sweat factory for two and half hours.

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Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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2 Comment(s)
  • Ida
    June 9, 2014 at 10:40 am

    I’m a huge HEAT fan but I am not a LeBron fan. In my opinion, he should be stomping on everyone out there with the way he looks. He is getting too comfortable and its coming back to bite him the a**!!

  • Joey G
    June 6, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    This guy would not have made it in the 80s and early 90s under any circumstances. Anthony Mason and Bill Laimbeer used to warn other players not to come anywhere near the hoop, clobber people who did, not get called for fouls for doing it, and then clobber them again. It was street ball, kinda like what Worcester basketball would be it the pansyasses in the MIAA weren’t there to ruin it.

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