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So there was some type of surfing tournament yesterday in South Africa and a surfer named Mick Fanning was attacked by a shark before he kicked the shit out of it.
That might be the scariest shit I’ve ever seen. Only an Australian could survive something like that. “Hey shark, you think you’re a bad ass? How bout I punch in the face?” I feel like this was an episode of Russell Crowe’s “Foightin Round the World”.
Obviously we’re bringing this up because last week people were up our ass because we suggested that throwing a beached shark back into the water in Chatham might not have been the best course of action. But this just proves we were right. Sharks aren’t our friends. They are there to eat whatever is in the ocean, including humans.
Some people were saying that the ocean is their home, not ours. Says who? The ocean belong to whoever takes it. So when a shark washes ashore on a beach because it was dumb enough to get beached, why is it our obligation to make sure it lives? The land is ours. If they come ashore we shouldn’t be showing them mercy. They are the enemy and this proves it. Because as you can see, this is how they treat us in their territory.
P.S. Isn’t it supposed to be winter in South Africa right now? This is what January is like for them? Surfing competitions? This is bullshit.
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7 Comment(s)
Man that dude reminds me of my man #87 Rob Gronkowski from the Pats. This is what the Gronk would have done. Turn around and say, “Hey Jaws – take this motherfucker.” Then BAM! Knock him the fuck out. And swim ashore and break out into a party dance. Maybe even drag the shark back to shore by it’s tail and then spike the fucking thing.
Do you think I (most likely we) are sick of the Red Sox already? I love summer but bring on the world champs from Foxboro. I miss greatness.
I prefer Gronk with his hands attached.
How to speak Australian: “guppy.”
Fosters, mate!
Mick Fanning – the guy makes a hell of a flip flop. Shout out to anyone rocking reefs with a bottle opener.
Not our home because the guy needed a piece of fiberglass out there to keep himself from drowning.