Hoodrat Heroes

Shout Out To The Legendary Turtlerider Who Served The Plymouth Dumpsterslugs Pizza And Epically Trolled Them 

This kid is my hero.

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I don’t think I have to remind you who Kailey and Dylan Carlson are. In case you’re bored on this lovely snow day you can catch up with the Plymouth Dumpsterslugs Part One, Part Two, and Part Three here. They were the stars of the most infamous Turtleboy takedown in the history of the blog for trying to scam residents of Plymouth out of everything under the sun in their quest for heroin.

So, it’s been a couple of months since we’ve heard from them, and then out of the blue, one of our Turtleriders send us this: 

With this note: So I ran into the dumpster slug at the stop and shop in Plymouth. He was singing Dispatch’s “The General”. When I drove by the girl slug was there but when I came back she was gone. Musta been shitting behind the store.

A couple days later this comes in from the same amazing person:

My buddy works at a local pizza shop, those two shit stains came in and he called me. I told him to put dumpster slugs as their name on the order. He did but then got freaked out, but this is the pic he sent me. He crossed out dumpster and wrote in slugs. Look how they paid for the order!


We owe these dudes a beer. I haven’t laughed that hard in forever.

 

 

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12 Comment(s)
  • February 10, 2017 at 11:41 am

    So this chick is confused on her gender, a lesbian..so a trans lesbian..and she left her 3 kids to be with a guy…again she is leaving the state with her “husband” even though shes gay? No wonder dude has been strangling her..this has been one messed up sceneario..but at the same time so damn entertaining..awesome 10/10 thank you for exposing the cum dumpster and her dumpster diving dude…drugs are bad mckay

  • EBT rules
    February 9, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    One thing is alway missing, work.

  • Cat Vomit Tango
    February 9, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    I read all three parts…nice work. My favorite line…”snizz basket”…fricking hilarious.

  • Dick Dover
    February 9, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Should of fouled out their food. A lil drain cleaner would of sorted them out

  • Turd Burglestein
    February 9, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    Great article Turtlegirl. You should get a raise!

    Oh yeah..Firsties!!!

    • Turd Burglestein
      February 9, 2017 at 7:50 pm

      You snòoze you lose. Better luck next time lil bobster.

      • BobnMic
        February 9, 2017 at 11:05 pm

        Good guess fucknut. Nice try. I wouldn’t waste my time trolling you. The fake Turd is laughing his or her ass off right at you.

        • Turd Burglestein
          February 10, 2017 at 8:34 am

          And the real turd is right here laughing his ass off at you.

          • BobnMic
            February 10, 2017 at 10:02 pm

            Excellent come back. Quite the Spatar you are Tredge.

          • BobnMic
            February 10, 2017 at 10:03 pm

            Excellent come back. Quite the Spatar you are Tredge.

  • Turd Burglestein
    February 9, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    What would be even better is to lace their pizza with Narcan so their heroin buzz goes bye bye.

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