Social Justice Warriors

Sonya Conner Sassing Joe Petty, Gaffney Roasting Dicky Rushton Are Must See Vines

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Politics can tend to be a little boring sometimes. Did you know that 80% of congressmen list their profession as lawyers? And with all due respect to lawyers, they LOVE to talk. It’s what they do for a living. As a result, politics is nothing but talk, talk, talk. That’s why the other night’s City Council meeting took five and a half freaking hours. Because no one ever shuts up. So you can watch the five hour video by clicking here, or you can watch the Turtleboy condensed highlights from six second vines. We recommend the latter.

First of all, Joe Petty has absolutely no clue how to run a meeting and everyone knows that. That’s why the hippies don’t take him seriously. Because even they know he’s a joke. You’re only supposed to speak for two minutes, but everyone just kind of keeps talking until they feel like stopping, no matter how many times Joe Petty threatens to bang his gavel. Like this hippie who kept railing on about Turtleboy.

Think she gave a fuck? Nope. Now a real leader would start kicking people out. Jordan Levy would’ve ruled these hippies out of order and literally dragged them out by their hippie ears. But Joe Petty literally BEGS them to “take it easy” which they immediately ignore.

Come on guys….please? Please? I wanna get out of here so I can not show up at my no-show job in Boston tomorrow. This same hippie, who I’ve never seen before but claims to be a white ally in CUC, actually got up there and said that the city should “welcome and celebrate” the Kelley Square blockade:

One of my favorite parts was when it literally turned into a circus. Some sassy grandmother got up there and spoke for about 10 minutes, ignoring him a million times so she could finish her story about the time her sister finished in second place at the Elm Park tennis tournament back in the 50’s. The best part was she literally turns around and starts getting the crowd riled up while laughing directly at his face.

Glorious.

Then there was Julius Jones who introduced the hippies to their new favorite word – “Turtlebigot”:

Then in hilarious Julius Jones fashion he said he was filing a Freedom of Information Act request to see all communications between Councilor Gaffney and Turtleboy:

I’m sure he’ll get right around to filling out that paperwork. Any day now.

The best part was when he closed his hilarious rant and all but admitted that Turtlebigot runs this city:

Finally the vote came to audit towards the end. And it only took four and a half hours!! As you know it was unanimous. They had to listen to five councilors in a row vote yes

 

At this point they still had hope. If the final six councilors, which included George Russell, Dicky Rushton, Puddy, and Reverend Auntie Ho, all voted no, then they would be able to hang onto their illegal cash cow gravy train. Unfortunately they all voted yes as well.

But by far the best two parts of the night were, 1) when Sonya “Boom-Boom” Conner got up after the vote was over and yelled at the City Council to stop abusing “our” children at North High (despite the fact that she has no children and has lived in Worcester for all of two years now)

Oh come on.” LOL. Way to lay the smack down Joe Puddy. I have to admit though, as usual, Boom-Boom’s sass game is irresistible. I could listen to her say, “North High” all day.

But the best moment of the night came with the back and forth between Dicky “fuck the police” Rushton and Gaffney. Basically Rushton talked for an hour and a half about how he was gonna vote for the audit in spite of Gaffney, because Gaffney wasn’t basing his “fishing expedition” on any facts. And ya know what, except for all the facts, he’s got a point. Because we’ve got pictures of checks that the city wrote to Mosaic in 2013 when it was NOT a registered non-profit. That’s a fact. Obviously then Gaffney gave him the only roasting that was fitting for this poopsmooch:

Hypocrite. Boom. Roasted.

There you have it folks. A five and a half hour meeting condensed into 66 seconds. This is how politics should be. Turtleboy might have to run for office in 2017.

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