Hoodrat Heroes

Springfield Ratchet Donnybrooks Are The Best Fights On The Internet

Springfield Ratchet Donnybrooks Are The Best Fights On The Internet


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Springfield is so ratchet it hurts. I swear the BEST chick fights always come out of this God forsaken cesspool of a city:

Damn girl!! Finna catch dees hands!! God it’s gotta suck growing up in Springfield. That place is like Plumley Village on steroids.

That was actually a great fight though. Usually these chick fights start off with two wildebeest locking horns for mating rights, and only involve some hair pulling and name calling before it gets broken up. Not these junior hoodrats though. This was a legitimate brawl, complete with chokeholds, hairpulling, uppercuts to the face, and the Bret the Hitman Hart sharpshooter:

Safe to say both of those girls will have their summer reading done by mid-July. Then they’ll go on to finish up their high school careers, get in to a good college, wait until they’re married before they settle down to bear children, and never, ever collect benefits from the government.

It wasn’t really fair either. The chick in the striped shirt was outnumbered, as this Thicky Minaj right here kept pushing her whenever she had an advantage:

Newsflash cheesehog – this was not your fight. I know a gravy dumpster like you probably gets into a donnybrook at least three or four times a week. But these girls are obviously way below your weight class, and it’s just not always all about you. Nevertheless she tried to make it all about her as the other girl’s ride came to pick her up:

Another productive day for these fine, upstanding citizens of Springfield.
 

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8 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    June 10, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    Only thing missing was a Stone Cold Stunner, and maybe the People’s Elbow.

    And good old JR yelling, “Mah Gawd! She broke her in half!”

  • Woody
    June 8, 2017 at 11:44 pm

    I’m going to petition the Springfield City Council to make yoga pants the mandatory uniform for public mayhem……….it gives me wood to see the camel toe shots during the action.

  • Big Raymond
    June 8, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    True to Ginger Code, ginger girl is the superior fighter despite her smaller size, fierce and feisty. By unanimous decision ginger girl is winner by TKO.

    Springfield because there there aren’t enough hell-holes already.

    Drive by the Springfield Social Security office at opening time, line into the parking lot most are under 40, smoking butts, scratching their crotches in dirty sweat-pants that say “pink” on the ass, you know the Walmart uniform. Grown men riding on children’s bicycles.

    These are the zombies that eat our brains, we use our skills and intellect to earn a living. Government transfers our wealth to them so they can brawl, booze, drug, play with phones. Stay up all night eating hot pockets and playing video games. Once they taste free stuff their zombie infected, you can’t ever escape the SSI zombies.

  • John Barker
    johnnyb
    June 8, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    Freakin’ Springfield. Besides Lawrence, Is there worse Land of Broken Dreams than this hellhole?

    • Herb Pease
      June 8, 2017 at 7:26 pm

      Wait until MGM Springfield opens. Supposed to be September 2018. Those fucking thieves will suck the ratchets in who will blow their SSI and EBT funds in an hour or two pounding away at penny slots hoping to hit free games or win a jackpot that hits once every five years. Wrong place for a casino, wrong corporation to run it.

      Turtleboy will have a field day with all the antics in the area that Magnificent Godforsaken Megashithole will generate.

  • Fed up
    June 8, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    The historic home in the background , is now painted the island people’s favorite colors. Turquoise and pink. Very Caribbean of them.

  • Turd Burglestein
    June 8, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Fucking savages…they recorded the video in portrait mode.

    • KimberlyS
      KJDS
      June 8, 2017 at 3:05 pm

      Will they never learn???

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