Hoodrat Heroes

Stripper Mom Teaches 3 Year Old Daughter How To Pole Dance In Viral Videos, But It’s OK Because It’s “Art”

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Apparently stripping/pole dancing is “art” now. At least according to this woman named Lindsey Teall from St. Louis. She runs a business called Upside Down Toddlers that basically teaches little girls how to be strippers, and her daughter is prominently featured in videos on her Facebook page:

She became Internet famous after this home video went viral a while back:

Well…..that’s one way to parent. Next up she’s gonna teach the little girl how to pick up a $20 bill off of a stranger’s lap using only her cheeks.

The video was posted on a Facebook page called “Ghetto Ass Mess,” where Lindsey showed up to defend her craft:

No honey. Teaching your child how to be a stripper is not a “thing” just because you declared it is so. It’s trashy, ratchet, self servicing, narcissistic behavior. If you wanna be a whore, by all means, do your thing girlfriend. More power to ya. But your daughter has no idea that she’s being trained in the art of burlesque. Gee whiz, I wonder what line of works she’s gonna be geared towards after this?

I mean, who wants to go on Facebook and see their Mom like this?

You can pretend this is art all you want. It’s really just you being an attention seeking, aspiring Instagram whore.

Oh, and this is normal with Dad:

Yup, this one’s easy to explain to the kids. Daddy’s pretending to cut Mom’s bare ass with knife. Because…..Halloween.

According to stripper Mom, pole dancing has nothing to do with stripping. Which explains why she’s wearing stripper heels and panties in all of her home videos.

But it’s OK because she’s actually a ballet dancer:

My name is Lindsey, I’m a mommy, former professional Ballet Dancer, Professional Pole Performer, Stripper, Model, and Writer. I’ve been Pole Dancing since early 2010, but started dancing when I was around 8 years-old. I currently live in St. Louis, MO with my family, but I’m originally from Oregon. I also lived overseas for a third of my life, where I gained my college degree and danced in The Cork City Ballet.

Oh good, she went to college to learn how to be a ballet dancer but she ended up doing what any high school drop out could do. That’s way better.

She just realized that ballet doesn’t pay the bills quite like flashing your lady bits for dollar bills and grinding your ass into a stranger’s pants tent. Which is why she’s basically a full time stripper now:

“Everyone deserves to do something that they are passionate about….a job they excel at. If it’s getting topless or naked, why should that be a big deal?”

Yea, you always come first once you have kids. Everyone knows that. Who cares if your child will have to suffer the shame and humiliation of having the stripper mom who’s training her in the family business. As long as Mom gets to do what she is passionate about that’s all that matters.

Shockingly she has no shortage of supporters either:

Only adults sexualize pole dancing? Yea, no shit. Because a 2 year old doesn’t know what sex is yet. By that logic you might as well show them porn since they have no idea what that is yet either. Pole dancing is not an “art.” It’s a way to help lonely guys get off. That’s it.

Sure, some women have taken pole dancing classes on their bachelorette weekends. But in this case Mom is an actual stripper, and she’s doing it with her daughter in her living room while wearing high heels and underpants. But yea, this is nothing to do with strip clubs. Nothing at all.

Oh yea, it’s totally not just for adult entertainment. Lots of school plays use stripper poles too.

First of all, pole dancing is entirely sexual in nature. That’s the whole point. You’re gyrating your hips around a solid pole. As in, pole polisher. Secondly, Mom is in fact a stripper, so it does in fact have everything to do with stripping.

Oh, and she’s married and her husband does it too:

Yup, this is perfectly normal.

Look, I’m not big into judging people’s lifestyles. Unless of course kids are involved. If you and your husband wanna toss on boy shorts and make sweet love to some aluminum on Facebook, God bless ya. But don’t act like stripping is for anybody except chicks trying to get through med school and the GED express who ran out of options a long time ago. Don’t teach your daughter that this is some sort of noble career to pursue. Teach her that her value comes from her brain, and that she can contribute more to society than giving boners to horny strangers. And especially don’t put your daughter in viral videos where you’re teaching her how to be a hobag like Mommy.

33 Comment(s)
  • ThisShit CracksMeUp
    August 30, 2018 at 8:05 am

    OMG I know the dad’s ex. He has another daughter and he has never paid support and eventually signed over his rights when he was facing having them terminated. They legit have done photo shoots in front of their kids where mommy was topless in Christmas lights and daddy was dressed as an elf. Oh and then there was the post where they wanted donations to watch Lindsey strip at home on periscope. I think they even were posting amateur porn at one point too. Srsly you should see the shit that was dug up for the termination case. We’re talking TONS of shit. He doesn’t work and probably still thinks he can get a freaking record deal at age 37. They’ve tries to be youtube famous for years it didnt work so they’re trying it through their kids now. It’s all pretty fucked up. She isn’t teaching them for the sake of fitness. Mommy is just an attention whore.

    • ThisShit CracksMeUp
      August 30, 2018 at 8:11 am

      Oh and while their kids are on a pole, his other daughter is learning marital arts, guitar and starting photography with her mom…she’s 8!

  • Dave
    March 31, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Bad parent and morals aside:

    Damn she got some thick thighs…and that ass.

    whoooooosh!

  • vicxh
    March 28, 2018 at 8:06 am

    All the words are superfluous in this article. The pictures are enough.
    Btw, I am looking forward to the meeting them 15 years from now (15 + 3 = 18 )

  • Turtleboy
    March 28, 2018 at 7:13 am

    Yeah this is the kinda news you should be covering turtleboy

  • SMH
    Maddie Ziegler
    March 28, 2018 at 12:22 am

    She has been working on a sequel to “Dance Moms” since its star, Abby Lee Miller went to prison. She hopes to win in the network race to the bottom for ratchet audience.

  • Savage Squaw Bitch
    March 27, 2018 at 11:15 pm

    Former stripper here. I agree that she should not teach her young child this. The whole point of pole dancing is sensuality at its most PG form, unless we are talking about acrobatic training for cirque du soleil. Otherwise we are taught how to move sensually. It CAN be artistic, no doubt, but how artful can it be when any old hag can literally master it in several months, and i am even talking about the craziest moves you might see. A very skilled dancer and world renowned champion of pole dancing mastered her craft within two years…IN HER 40S. I love pole dancing and I loved being an exotic dancer, but I will NOT teach my daughter how to do pole tricks.

    I have more to say about this, but I’m bored of typing on my phone. Peace.

  • Western Mass Turtlegirl Jelly Qweef Stain
    March 27, 2018 at 8:14 pm

    Western Mass Turtlegirl is just jelly, because she pobably couldn’t get a guy half hard while on a pole. I perused a few of Lin TuTu’s clips and bang, I had it out and was pounding it like it was an enemy. Western Mass Turtlegirl don’t be jelly, join the movement, get up on that pole, let’s see what you got. And fark being all high and mighty about the kid. Where are tomorrow’s strippers going to come from if they aren’t introduced to the art at some point. Pole swinging is an art, just like when you polish a knob, it’s an art. Do you give your boi a half-assed blow session? No, you give it your all. That’s what it is all about, being th best at what we do. Heck, I practiced rug cleaning on a sister and two aunts. The 67 yr old aunt said I was the best. That built my confidence up so that no rug was safe from Homie’s prowess. So in the end, get off your all high and mighty and let people swing baby.

    • panzer9811
      panzer9811
      March 28, 2018 at 8:14 am

      Oh, look! A commenter from the Ozarks!

  • Brother Turtle
    March 27, 2018 at 5:29 pm

    That’s one tasty mother-daughter combo that anyone, including myself, will fuck soon.

    • vicxh
      March 28, 2018 at 8:08 am

      Give the little one a break ….

  • Walter "Cinton Wannabe "Bird
    March 27, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    Fresh Meat

  • Cris Gagne
    Whinycunt
    March 27, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    Hey any tattoo equals whore. Fuck you. I bet you think on men their ok?
    Either way fuck you.

  • mitch
    March 27, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    “pole performer”, enough said…anyway…exhibitionist with daddy issues. aren’t they all ?

  • Real_Finn
    Finn
    March 27, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    She’s not fooling anyone posing with that book. That made me LOL.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    March 27, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    Actually, for Lindsey Teall it is art.

    She always wears a feather boa when sucking a john’s cock

  • Momma is hot
    March 27, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Better than having her kid sit around and play video games all day or watching stupid Snapchat videos

  • AnyTattoosEqualsWhore
    March 27, 2018 at 1:19 pm

    Anyone want to bet she has never, ever, paid taxes on her “$500-$2500 per night” income. As far as the IRS is concerned, she’s making $17,750 per year, if she’s even claiming that much.

    And yes honey, those tips will decline as you age. Pretty soon you’ll be wrestling with the club management as they throw you out the door because you won’t pay your $15 in stripper dues from the $50 you made dancing all afternoon.

    • Ken
      March 27, 2018 at 1:47 pm

      Lets bet she does pay taxes you fuck, lots of strippers do. What a bunch of close minded fucks on here. Pole dancing makes her a ho bag too, thats funny. Because hoe means you FUCK. Idiots. People pole dance who dont strip so theyre hoes for that? Okay. Logic.

      • Shake Joint Moe
        March 27, 2018 at 2:26 pm

        Ha ha ha. Touchy, ain’tcha? Little too close to home?

        Anyway, we’re all gonna go to the strip club watch your girl get naked and show us her asshole, and there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it. Ha ha ha.

    • Reward
      March 27, 2018 at 5:49 pm

      Does the IRS pay for information on tax cheats?

  • Dr. Cock
    March 27, 2018 at 12:41 pm

    I don’t give a dry dog shit what anybody says.

    WOULD.

    That’s a two week vacation WOULD. Holy fucking 90 yard punt return Jesus, WOULD.

    I would also wear that ass like a helmet.

    • Andrew Lloyd Running Back Webber
      March 27, 2018 at 12:49 pm

      “Jeeeeeesus Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiist, Fooootballl Staaaaarrrrr…”

    • Bill Clinton
      March 27, 2018 at 1:41 pm

      Her thighs are the same size as my wife’s are.

  • randiguy2006
    Randy
    March 27, 2018 at 12:26 pm

    I fail to see the problem. when did you become such an easily offended snowflake?

  • Angela
    March 27, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    She can do whatever but a little little child like that ……

  • z
    March 27, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    Maybe mom and dad are rejects from Cirque du Soleil?

  • z
    March 27, 2018 at 12:13 pm

    I first thing I thought of when I save the clown photo was “Juggaloes?”

    The makeup and the knife go together with ICP. And I find ICP talented, though I think they play their followers for suckers.

    • z
      March 27, 2018 at 12:15 pm

      saw, saw, saw not save. Duh on my part

  • Snapping Turtle
    Brian Allbitch
    March 27, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    My mom thought teaching me to suck cock was a good idea when I was 6, and my dad said I’m the best dicksucker in Weymouth!!!

  • Stunt Penis
    March 27, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    Pole dancing is actually a pretty decent work-out. Its a great way for women to stay in shape. If you love your girlfriend/wife, give her a pole to dance on.

    That said, look at the upside. At least this woman is teaching her daughter a marketable job skill so she will not be a leech on society once emancipated.

  • Jared Vogel
    March 27, 2018 at 11:57 am

    Seems fine to me.

  • TJB
    TJB
    March 27, 2018 at 11:47 am

    Please don’t be white, please don’t be white, please don’t be white….
    DOH!

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