All-Star Criminals

Swansea Swampfupa Tries To Cash Fraudulent Check She Made Drawn On Local Business Account, Forgets To Use Fake ID 

 

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Pro tip – if you’re gonna write a fake check from a business account you’re trying to rip off, it’s always best not to give them your real ID when trying to cash it.

This Swansea Swampfupa somehow made this check herself. She spent all that time and effort trying to make the check look real, but she couldn’t be bothered to plan ahead and think of a way to cash it without getting caught.

Normally I don’t judge a book by its cover, but with this creature I will.

If “it’s last call and I need get laid and don’t care if they smell like they just took a bath in a Newport Light ashtray” had a face. Of course she’s got a small litter of crotch fruits at home to take care of, she must’ve blown through all her food stamps, and she needed some money for fireball shots and blunt wraps

Remarkably she’s got no Google trophies of note, but I’m guessing that someone reading this has had a run in or two with her, because people that do shit like this never do it just once. Our inbox is open – [email protected]
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34 Comment(s)
  • David Strychnarz
    January 28, 2020 at 11:23 am

    WOWZERZ!!!! I would so worship you!!!!

    • Corinth Arkadin
      January 29, 2020 at 12:50 pm

      I LOL’ed for real, dawg.

      Honestly, can we get these two together?

  • Julie the Jarhead
    January 28, 2020 at 9:43 am

    Not me.

  • Mike Oxlong
    January 28, 2020 at 8:33 am

    Probably would. From behind only.
    Notice how she even mis-spelled her own “signature”
    The really, really dumb ones can really throw down though.

  • Harvey Milk
    January 28, 2020 at 1:54 am

    Stupid bitch.

    That’s pretty much all there is to say? Oh yeah, would cut her hair, dress her as a boy, and maul her cornhole.

  • Franklin Sucks
    January 27, 2020 at 11:39 pm

    Would?

  • The Fuck Signature Is that?
    January 27, 2020 at 11:02 pm

    We REALLY need to start pushing cursive in schools, cuz that shits fucking pathetic. Disgraceful.

  • Lake Flaccid
    January 27, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    Not trying to pick on anyone, but has anything positive ever come out of Swansea?

  • She's got talent
    January 27, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    The check itself looks quite authentic. Despite her misstep, with that fake check-making talent there are many ways she could make a handsome living. Fake checks not made out to her mispelled self, fake IDs for those who are here legally (illegals get fake IDs with voting privileges on demand from the RMV), fake purchase orders, etc. Maybe no penalty if she sets up shop in Suffolk County.

  • Maybe
    January 27, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    She can be redeemed It’s possible. This might have been the catalyst she needed.

  • PaRappa the Non-Binary Rapper (they/them/their)
    January 27, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    If she’s from Swansea she must know that twitter terrorist David Leavitt, right?

  • Roscoe P Coltrain
    January 27, 2020 at 8:42 pm

    Come on Uncle, she was stuffed and cuffed for grand theft auto in 2015! Little Compton.

    • And for Shoplifting in 2017
      January 27, 2020 at 11:23 pm

      There’s this one too. And something about screwing Lowe’s out of some cash,,,

  • Punta Cana
    January 27, 2020 at 6:56 pm

    Her other profile with her BF is even better, trace the BF and you will find the answers you seek!!!

  • Spic Tormentor
    January 27, 2020 at 6:12 pm

    This ugly ass skank has a vag that smells of decomposing varmint

    • Spider Lips
      January 28, 2020 at 9:34 am

      By far the best comments consistently…you sir are a legend.

      • Startled Pancake
        January 29, 2020 at 12:53 pm

        I’m going for that spot, but he’s a champion.

  • Hugh Mungous
    January 27, 2020 at 6:05 pm

    I woke up to her one morning in Stoughton. Chewed my right arm off to leave it behind but I took the town spa Pizza with my left.

  • Captain Trips
    January 27, 2020 at 5:51 pm

    Duck faced selfies, a nose piercing, and ghetto hoops at her age.

    I guess she missed the ‘grow up’ stage of life.

    I can smell the cheap perfume and stale Newport stench right through my computer.

    • Startled Pancake
      January 29, 2020 at 12:54 pm

      I’d still hit it, if only for America’s sake.

  • This site rocks
    January 27, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    Swampfupa, now that’s almost as funny as crotch fruit! Hope it makes every blog.

  • Crotch Snifffer
    January 27, 2020 at 5:28 pm

    I bet her snatch smells like a mix of 10 day old cigarette butts, wet dog, and cheddar cheese.

  • Startled Pancake
    January 27, 2020 at 5:26 pm

    Sometimes she looks Blacc, sometimes Whyte, but mostly she’s urine-colored.

    • Дмитрий Медведев
      January 27, 2020 at 9:17 pm

      I was going to say- what the fuck color is this bitch? She’s the color of Kyle Kennedy’s face after eating out Hernandez’s booty. Just ugh.

      • Lahey
        January 28, 2020 at 9:30 am

        She’s the colour of jondis

  • Bill Clinton
    January 27, 2020 at 5:18 pm

    No viagra needed.

  • Ma Barker
    January 27, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    Some friendly advice: If you’re going to enter a life of crime (i.e., forgery, uttering) at least spare your children the indignity of their identities being plastered across social media. Let them remain anonymous.

  • A Nice Warm Bowl Of Chinese Bat Soup
    January 27, 2020 at 5:10 pm

    Great.But can she drop Fudge Dragons in parking
    lots discreetly?

  • Ted Bundys VW
    January 27, 2020 at 5:02 pm

    A big yes.

    • Captain Trips
      January 27, 2020 at 5:26 pm

      I’ll bring the crowbar Ted

  • METHod Girl
    January 27, 2020 at 4:57 pm

    She has at least one google trophy out of Florida for possession of meth.

  • Terrible Advice
    January 27, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    You should always judge a book by its cover. If I’m walking down the street and see a couple brothers walking towards me you bet your ass I’m running the other way. I’m judging the fuck outta them cuz I like not being robbed and beaten. If someone has teeth like jaws, I’m judging them and guessing they are a meth head. I’m also not letting them borrow $5 for gas. So boys and girls always judge you will be better for it. Btw, I judged Trump would kick ass as president

  • .l.a Naker
    January 27, 2020 at 4:44 pm

    Kobe has a google trophy but its ok because he can stuff it when needed.

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    January 27, 2020 at 4:25 pm

    Must be that disease. Not venereal diseases though.

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