WTF

Ten Things I Hate About Worcester Video

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So last April some girl made a video that she put on Youtube entitled, “Ten Things I Hate About Worcester.” It was basically the ramblings of a lone female from a rich town outside of Boston who recently moved to Worcester after graduating from some expensive school Daddy paid for. Her biggest gripes with the city included the hearts we have on street signs, disabled people in wheel chairs, the fact that she thinks everyone is going to kill her, and some missing pens from her car.

The blog we wrote on her was one of the bigger blogs we’ve ever written. I forget exactly how many, but I think it got 40,000 views or somewhere around there. Anyway, after a while some of us felt bad for the poor girl. Sure she screwed up by posting a video on Youtube which took a steamy dump on everyone around her. But she shouldn’t have to deal with the fact that when you searched for her name you’d find Turtleboy Sports and a link to the video. So we took the blog down and it’s gone for good.

Anyway, a bunch of people have been messaging us asking for the video. We still have that, and we’re gonna post it here at the bottom if you wanna be reminded of how hilarious it is. But we’re not putting the girl’s name because that’s how you come up in search engines, and no one deserves to have something stupid they did when they were 23 follow them around for the rest of their life. After all, this is a family blog.

The only reason we’re posting the video this is because I recently discovered that this young woman was conspiring with known Bills Mafia agitators during Buffalo-gate back in October. Basically a bunch of dooshnozzles up there didn’t like the way they came across in a blog we wrote about our experiences at the Bills-Patriots game. They were throwing batteries at us during the game, tipping us over in the port-a-potty, and calling us “faggots” like it was going out of style. So for our own safety we started taping them. Funny how Buffalo heroes magically lose their superpowers for doosnozzelry when the cameras are rolling.

I was the one who wrote that blog, but a Buffalo blogger incorrectly identified three associates of mine as the authors in separate blogs he wrote. They made up a story about one of my friends who was supposedly jerking off in some girl’s face. In reality that young lady and her brother repeatedly told us to go fuck ourselves and reminded us that we preferred the company of men sexually. This girl and her brother made Buffalo seem like a city filled with homophobic miserable people in the blog I wrote, which it is.

The Buffalo blogger sent a Bills Mafia-style cyber-lynch mob after my associates. People actually contacted their places of business with tall tales of public masturbation. Others actually contacted one person’s wife just a month or so after he got married, claiming to be a Buffalo prostitute he had purchased. Another one sent this email to my buddy’s work email:

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The genius asked us to look him up, so we did:

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Anyway, obviously Bills Mafia are a bunch of savages, so the fact that we recently discovered that our unnamed girl from the video was actively conspiring with Bills Mafia to continue the debauchery was unsettling:

g0zh0

So on that note, here’s the videos since people are asking for it. I have no comment on it because our company wants nothing to do with this individual going forward:

Please, don’t try to contact this girl or find out who she is. Be better than that. It doesn’t matter who she is. She fucked up, but someday someone you love might fuck up too. Let her move on with her life. If this turns into a whole thing where people get too fired up and pissed off then we’re taking it down. So just enjoy the memories.

P.S. A lot of people have asked us for the whole story about what happened in Buffalo. There’s just so much to say. So many emails like the ones you see above. Luckily everyone involved cleared their names with their employers and families so what’s done is done. But the story is way, way, way too complicated and long to write in a blog. We’ve started to write a book about it, and it’s gonna be legit published. Not sure when it’s coming out, but we’ll keep you up to date. It’s one of the most exciting, riveting stories you will ever read.

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17 Comment(s)
  • Dee nutZ
    January 7, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    I think Margaret Pesikov bit your little turtle dick off and sold it to Bills Mafia

  • Concerned Citizen
    January 6, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    https://twitter.com/mpesikov
    Mobile-friendly – The latest Tweets from Margaret Pesikov (@mpesikov). Designer. Thinker. Strategist. Boston

  • Harold
    January 5, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Did I ever say I wasn’t familiar? It merely was a commentary on the picture posted at the top of the post. Try re-reading my comment, maybe this time with a heightened sensibility on how to follow along with simple matters.

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 5, 2015 at 7:40 pm

      I don’t need to read it again. You know that’s from Route 290 then, and you know that the city by and large is developed on the other side of the highway and north of it. You’re looking toward Leicester and Paxton in that shot.

      That’s the same as me taking a shot of Boston coming up 93 North and taking a shot of the harbor area conveniently avoiding the skyline.

      • Harold
        January 6, 2015 at 8:54 am

        Hahahahhaha did you just try and compare Worcester’s skyline to Boston?

        The fact of the matter is, it doesn’t matter if other buildings are included in the shot because the 2 included stick out like sore thumbs from all angles- and their only what, 22 stories? 23? Either way, I know they’re less than 300 feet.

        Like I said, glorified suburb. Try to make yourself feel good about that trash, never was town your from all you want. Fact is, it still sucks. Always has, always will.

        • Finnish Goalie
          January 6, 2015 at 10:49 am

          I did not compare skylines, you’re putting words in my mouth . I said it would be like me conveniently avoiding Boston’s skyline in a picture, show the industrial areas on the harbor and sound coming up 93 and saying, “yep, that’s Boston.”

          You then point out the two building’s again, and I stated that the city is developed more heavily on the other side of the highway and north of it, which is not in the shot.

          For a Massachusetts guy, you sure seem to take enjoyment from ripping on it’s areas.

          I like Boston too and have a great time, but I’d never try and compare it to cities such as New York, Los Angeles, or Chicago with millions of people. You’re city has more to offer than Worcester, MA. Congrats.

          • Finnish Goalie
            January 6, 2015 at 10:50 am

            Ah, typos. Well, I acknowledge them, so strike them from any counterpoint.

          • Harold
            January 6, 2015 at 11:05 am

            WAHHHH WAHHHH WAHHHH

            Youre crying because I painted an unfair and unrealistic picture of your city, one you think is misleading. And yet, you read this site. How deliciously ironic. You pathetic minion sucking at turtle boy’s teet.

        • Finnish Goalie
          January 6, 2015 at 12:17 pm

          Ah, I can’t reply directly to you anymore, that’s a flaw.

          This blog is actually quite critical of Worcester at times for legitimate reasons, and there are plenty of reasons for criticism on the city’s condition and it’s citizenry.

          But, a highway photo, nah.

          I suppose we just got to live and let live, my friend. Go Boston team of choice (being a native and all).

          • Harold
            January 6, 2015 at 1:21 pm

            Whether or not this blog is critical of Worcester isn’t the point.

            The fact that you got defensive over my overgeneralized comment about an entire city based on one misleading photograph is ironic, considering its in the comment section of a blog who gets its page views on overgeneralizations based on misleading photos, videos, and stories and relies on hyperboles highlighting opinions vs facts. None of which I have a problem with- it is a blog, after all, and blogs are by no means intended to always be trustworthy sources of news.

            Point is, in short- everyone always enjoys other people being made fun of until it hits close to home, then they get butthurt.

            But I’m done with this.

        • Finnish Goalie
          January 6, 2015 at 3:00 pm

          Safe travels, friend. Come on down to Shrewsbury Street whenever you want and have a bite, and maybe a Wachusett or Wormtown beverage.

          • Harold
            January 7, 2015 at 4:09 pm

            Killing me with kindness. Props to you there. Be well.

  • Harold
    January 5, 2015 at 10:32 am

    Wow, what a riveting and exciting skyline and city scape Worcester looks like it has!

    And you have the audacity to make fun of any other city, ever, lol what a joke!

    As a Boston native I can tell you that Buffalo has nothing on Boston (nowhere does IMO), but Buffalo sure is a hell of a lot better than your trash glorified suburb.

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 5, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      You claim to be a Boston native and aren’t familiar with where that shot was taken in a city that’s less than 50 miles west of you?

    • Nick
      January 14, 2015 at 10:10 pm

      Harold, if you’re an adult please go get your head examined. Making fun of a city because of it’s skyline? Are you a 15 year old girl? “Like, OMG, the buildings in Worcester like aren’t even that tall.” Hmmm, maybe that’s because the city is in a valley surrounded by a bunch of hills. You ever hear of the city of seven hills? Worcester is a unique residential city and a great place to live. When someone from NY or Chicago laughs at the Boston skyline what do you say? Does it make you feel inferior? Hope you don’t lose any sleep over it you freaking head case.

  • Billy
    January 5, 2015 at 10:27 am

    I know geography is complicated and all, but the author of the email you sent said he lived in Sararoga. News flash, Saratoga isn’t Buffalo. It isn’t anywhere close, actually. Saratoga is about half the distance to Boston as it is to Buffalo, being in the Albany, NY area. So you’re trying to show how vile a Buffalonian is, but, they appear to have no connection to Buffalo.

    Continue to deny all you want man. You egged on Bills fans obnoxiously all game long without your camera on, and then when they had enough (and their having enough was certainly bolstered by the Pats usual drubbing of them) you turn the cameras on and paint them to be savages. Sure, there were probably many of them whom displayed unacceptable behaviors, absolutely. But for Gods sake, be a man and admit your own role in the “savagery” you encountered. You were not a victim. You asked for trouble, you got it, and some people who have a difficult time discerning the sarcasm in your blog took things too far. I don’t condone all of the actions taken by Buffalonians, but you need to admit your wrongs in the situation too. Stop painting yourself and your pals who accompanied you as the portrait of innocence. You are an asshole, and took things too far, and they got taken too far by other assholes in retaliation to your initial actions. Plain and simple.

    For the record. I am not a Buffalo born nor was aj raised a Bills fan. But some of the most important people in the world to me do fall into those categories. And I know an awful lot of people from bufffalo. And yor continuation to paint them this way is irritating.

  • Steez
    January 5, 2015 at 1:14 am

    wow bro did you really get scared and backpeddle or what? I think that Margaret Pesikov and the Bills mafia got you freaking out and you’re afraid lol. Don’t be a puss.

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