All-Star Criminals

The Chicopee Junkboxes Who Were Laughed At By The Clerk While They Tried To Rob Him At Knifepoint Live Across The Street And She’s The Oldest 29 Year Old In World History

The Chicopee Junkboxes Who Were Laughed At By The Clerk While They Tried To Rob Him At Knifepoint Live Across The Street And She’s The Oldest 29 Year Old In World History

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Yikes. Apparently this woman is indeed 29, according to her former classmates in the police department’s Facebook post. She easily looks over 50-years-old here.

Those must be 29 hard-lived years!

These two goons tried to knock over a convenience store in Chicopee, made off with nothing and still got caught by police. We blogged about them the other day after the clerk infamously laughed at them in their failed robbery attempt.

Kara Morin and Jonathan Landry Sadwosky, both of Chicopee (figures), were charged with armed assault with intent to rob on August 7th, and the whole story is ripe with what can only be described as a comedy of errors.

Anyway, this junkbox and her equally scummy boyfriend decided to rob the local convenience store, which happened to be across the street from where they are currently living. I say currently because with people like this, a fixed address is about as ‘fixed’ as a cat giving birth to a litter of kittens.

Well their plan didn’t exactly pan out, as you could imagine. Not only did they leave empty-handed from the Chicopee Honeyland Farms they were robbing, which again was more-or-less down the block from where they lived.

There’s something about these poor, debilitated ‘ill’ individuals that causes either desperation or stupidity, perhaps both. Of all the places to rob, you couldn’t have at least sprung for an Uber for a mile or two so you know, the neighborhood won’t know you by name?

Of course, that never dawned on Kara Morin or Jonathan Landry Sadwosky.

To hear the Chicopee Police Department tell it,

“On August 7th, around 9:10pm, 2 individuals entered the Honeyland Farms at 1296 Montgomery St. The female and male attempted to open the cash register. The female was in possession of a knife, and pointed it, in a threatening manner, at the clerk. The suspects fled without getting anything. We posted the surveillance video, and received many tips. Det Sgt Brett Nichols investigated the tips. As a result of his investigation, today, August 17, he applied for and was granted, 2 arrest and search warrants. At 4:14 pm., he, along with members of our patrol and narcotics unit, executed both warrants at the suspects residents at 33 Ohio Ave. Both were arrested without incident.he applied for and was granted, 2 arrest and search warrants. At 4:14pm, he, along with members of our patrol and narcotics unit, executed both warrants at the suspects residence at 33 Ohio Aveth, he applied for and was granted, 2 arrest and search warrants. At 4:14pm, he, along with members of our patrol and narcotics unit, executed both warrants at the suspects residence at 33 Ohio Aveth, he applied for and was granted, 2 arrest and search warrants. At 4:14pm, he, along with members of our patrol and narcotics unit, executed both warrants at the suspects residence at 33 Ohio Ave.

Another cautionary tale folks. Do dope and end up like Kara here, who’s 29-year-old age looks like a typo so egregious it couldn’t possibly be true, and for the fact that this “disease” may cause you to rob your neighborhood corner store.

Her appearance and age baffled me so much I almost didn’t believe it, that is until reading the comment section to her arrest Facebook post, where former classmates came out of the woodwork to confirm the awful truth.

Just another day living in Chicopee, Massachusetts, where something like this is more like a rite of passage or a part of the overall criminal education of a thug dunce in training.

 

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7 Comment(s)
  • Bull Conner
    August 21, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    Them there are what we call pillbillies down south. Y’all got em here too, go figure. Guess you yankees got plenty of low culture up here. Glad to see the chickens have finally come home to roost.

  • They call me Ponch
    August 21, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    Chicopee years seem to be rougher than Lynn and Fall River years!

    Sheeeesh!

    • bigdaddy
      bigdaddy
      August 21, 2017 at 5:26 pm

      But what about Ware years ?

  • Special Ed
    August 21, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    They will have a new fixed address soon unless they get the hangman who isn’t hangin’
    And they put them on the street…
    You go back Jack do it again
    Wheel turnin’ ’round and ’round
    You go back Jack do it again

  • bigdaddy
    bigdaddy
    August 21, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    she is 29 in dog years How long is that in human years?

    • Isaac F'n Newton
      November 22, 2017 at 1:29 pm

      if my calculations are correct that would make her 68 in Chicopee years.

  • Stunt Penis
    August 21, 2017 at 11:40 am

    A fine photodocumentary of the effects of repetitive drug use on the female aging process.

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