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The Handy Peyton Manning Got From The Media After Doing NOTHING To Win The Super Bowl Makes Me Think White Privilege Might Be Real

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Warning: This post contains tons of butthurt.

I don’t care what team you are a fan of, Super Bowl 50 was the biggest disgrace ever seen. The team with the worst quarterback in the NFL, that purposely did everything they could to keep him from losing the game for them, won the most boring Super Bowl every played. The Broncos deserved to win that game because their defense was one of the greatest of all time. They’re so underrated. They won’t go down as the 85 Bears or the 2000 Ravens, but they’re just as good if not better. They won the Super Bowl in spite of Peyton Manning at quarterback. If Brock Osweiller were playing they would’ve won by 30.

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The stats don’t lie either. Here’s Peyton’s Super Bowl numbers compared to Trent Dilfer’s in 2000:

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Dilfer is commonly known as the quarterback who least deserved to win the big one. He was below mediocre and carried by Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, and the Goose. But he was infinitely better in Super Bowl 35 than Manning was in Super Bowl 50. He had more yards, a better completion percentage, more touchdowns, and less interceptions.

Von Miller dominated that game last night. He made Patriots fans think, “maybe our line doesn’t suck so bad after all. Maybe Von Miller is just that good.” And he is. Two and a half sacks, a game turning strip that led to a touchdown, and a game winning forced fumble. It was one of the greatest Super Bowl performances of all time.

Yet as soon as the game ended, who were the cameras on?

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Peyton Manning making out with Papa John and Jim Nance felating his ego. As if Peyton Manning had ANYTHING TO DO with the fact that the Broncos won that game. You think Jim Nance asked him any questions about the fact that he had HGH sent to his house under his wife’s name? LOL. Nope. He’s being framed by the Muslims. Ditka said so.

It’s notable that Manning spoke before Von Miller. I’m not saying white privilege is a real thing, but Peyton privilege clearly is. Every camera in that stadium should’ve been on Von Miller for the amazing three playoff games he just dominated.

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Here’s what Peyton Manning did the five times the Broncos had the ball in the 4th quarter. Up 16-7 Manning was sacked, fumbled, recovered, handed the ball off, then fumbled again but lost the ball this time.

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The Panthers settled for 3 right afterwards cuz Cam Newton is such a train wreck. Then Manning got the ball back, up 6, with 10 minutes to go in the Super Bowl. A real quarterback would’ve driven the field and made it a two possession game. Instead Manning had one dump off, one handoff and an incomplete pass that should’ve been intercepted by Josh Norman:

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Of course Carolina couldn’t score though and Denver soon got the ball back, up 16-10. Once again, a drive that resulted in 3 or 7 points would make it a 2 possession game, and basically ice it. And what did Manning do? He handed the ball off three straight times and punted it:

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You know what kind of coach calls plays like that? Someone who understands that his quarterback sucks. Someone who doesn’t want Peyton Manning to go out on a game winning pick 6. Someone who is so confident that Cam Newton will shit on himself that he doesn’t mind giving the ball back to him. Right on cue this happened:

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And once again, Peyton had the chance to ice the game after being GIVEN the ball on the four yard line. And as usual he handed it off twice, before being bailed out on a holding call on a pass that was thrown 20 yards into the stands. Of course CJ Anderson ran it in for the winner:

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After that they just iced the clock with more runs:

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So if you’re keeping score at home, Manning had the ball five times in the fourth quarter. He had two fumbles. He threw the ball a total of 3 times, with one pass being completed to his running back for 2 yards, and the other two falling incomplete. He was bailed out by an awful holding call in the end zone, a dropped ball by Josh Norman, and was given the ball on the four yard line. It was one of the most legendarily terrible fourth quarter performances in Super Bowl history. Only Cam Newton was worse.

And yet this was the media’s reaction to it:

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Best ever!!! A guy who beat the Rex Grossman Bears and then was handed a win by his defense is the best ever. This is the face of Patriots butthurt nation.

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Hey Luke Russert, I almost felt sorry for your poor father because he passed away before the Bills won a Super Bowl. I almost started to feel sorry for your pathetic fan base. Then you had the stones to write such a stupid thing on the Internet. No fan base deserves the misery that your city has gotten over the years more than Buffalo.

But perhaps the biggest loser tweet of the night came from Brady-hater and Indy Star “columnist” Gregg with G’s Doyel:

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HAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!! Huge win for Indy tonight!!! The guy they didn’t want because he was old, sucked, and couldn’t beat the Patriots, just won a Super Bowl with a conference rival. This makes people in Indy happy!!! How long until the Broncos get a banner risen in the Colts stadium? It would be so fitting for the NFL’s most butthurt, loser fan base.

Tom Brady is still the greatest of all time. Never, ever forget that.

 

 

 

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7 Comment(s)
  • Larry Mondello
    February 9, 2016 at 7:41 am

    With that defense don’t be surprised if he comes back for another season. “Aw shucks. After talking it over with Papa John, my daddy, and my semi beautiful wife while drinking lots of Bud I’ve decided to play another year.” God help us.

  • Gronkmonster
    February 8, 2016 at 8:46 pm

    First person he kissed after the game was Papa John…Not his HGH ordering Wife…Papa John ..I know we should be accepting of that sort of relationship these days

  • Reddog
    February 8, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    Budweiser

  • Reddog
    February 8, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    Mmmmm, Budwieser

  • Turtle Bro
    February 8, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    Minor correction, Dilfer’s 12 of 25 is not a better completion percentage than Manning’s 13 of 23. Everything else is fine

  • Sissy Hankshaw
    February 8, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    I hate Papa John because I have too much respect for pizza.

  • Del Griffith
    February 8, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    Kissing Papa John on the sideline as soon as the game is over. Not Dad, not his wife, not his kids, not Eli (who looked like he should be put on suicide watch) nope… Papa Friggin’ John. And the “I’m going to drink a whole lot of Budweisers tonight” line made me want to dry heave. Peyton and other athletes selling themselves out like twenty dollar hookers at an Amway convention is just revolting.

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