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The Top Five Most Hilariously Awful Massachusetts Based Rap Videos On YouTube

The Top Five Most Hilariously Awful Massachusetts Based Rap Videos On YouTube

 

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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

Here at Turtleboy, we love ratchets. From flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats to swigging straight of out a bottle of Hennessy, punctuated by drags off a Newport hunnit, the habits and behavior of these welfare collecting creatures with brick weed and fentanyl for sale out of a Nike Air Jordans backpack will never get old. But, for me, the crowning achievement of any ratchet has to be the inevitable “I just invested my monthly cash assistance payment into this” rap video. Nothing quite says “I have a ninth grade education and just got fired from Dunkin Donuts” quite like it. So, I dug up the 5 most hilariously awful videos from some of the finest section 8 shitholes in the state, for your viewing pleasure.

 

5. VIC – AMG Curse (New Bedford)

The apparent youngest MC on this list, VIC, doesn’t look old enough to vote. He’s old enough to make a rap video, though! And who are we kidding, anyway – this kid will probably never be able to vote, because felons are barred from doing so by law.

The entire video depicts a typical day in the life of a future crack dealer and SSDI awardee, as he loiters around with his equally unsupervised delinquent teenage friends, smoking blunts and definitely not studying for the SATs.

At least while smoking backwoods and drinking Henney they stay seated in the back of the car, which everyone knows is the safest place for a child.

 

Goddamnit, someone’s mother paid good foodstamps for those.

 

4. Springfield Mass Music Gang – Let the Hoe N**** Sing (Springfield)

 

This definitely lacks the production value of the previous video, presumably because they blew the budget on some wax baggies of black tar from Diego before getting to work screaming and grunting from someone’s dark, bare bedroom in baby mama’s state funded apartment.

Nothing says “million dollar” deal quite like a chubby, racially ambiguous chud in an Elmer Fudd hat imploring you “Let the ho n**** sing” while his boy to the left throws a couple of “uh” and “yeahs” and gives the camera rape eyes from beneath the brim of his hat.

The limp wristed dreadlocks doing the junkie jam in the middle really makes the whole bit sparkle.

3. Fall River Rap Video (Fall River)

Starring the president of Mayor Jaisel Correia’s fan club on vocals

Naked Buffalo Bill on the shitter,

And these queefwhistles.

I am aware that this was most likely produced as a joke, but there’s a 50/50 it’ll be picked up by the Chamber of Commerce before the Mayor goes to jail, so it made the countdown anyway.

 

2. Devon Dinero – Pesos (New Bedford)

 

If you like irony, shitty video effects and the visual representation of perpetual failure and unemployment, then you’re going to love this one.

 

They even threw in a token black guy to make it legit.

 

1. Get Down Productions (Matt Money and Mike Disel) – Living Good (Grafton)

I don’t know if I have even seen such a glorious train wreck of complete and utter failure and mental deficiency as this video. Everything is just so perfectly terrible, it’s like the perfect storm of ratchetry and white trash. From way the beat drills inside your skull to rape your ears from the inside, to hook that somehow manages to be both monotone and out of tune, this is the most hilariously awful thing I have ever witnessed. The video is shot in a freaking strip mall parking lot.

The. Entire. Video.

And the only three people willing to be seen on camera in this desolate strip mall parking lot, lip syncing to the audio AIDS that is “Living Good”, are this homeless looking junkbox,

His seemingly Downes Syndrome-afflicted tub-of-lard buddy,

And his girlfriend, who looks like she really wishes they’d shut the fuck up already so they can drive off in that piece of shit pickup truck they most likely borrowed from her father, and score more of Flacco’s magic brown.

 

But there’s Henny, so you know this shit is legit. Gangsta.

I imagine after they were done, they went around stripping catalytic converters off of parked cars to score another gram of dope. What a time to be alive.

 

 

34 Comment(s)
  • Y’all no lives
    December 30, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    If your gonna end out 2018 wit this at least to videos that end out on 2018. Y’all using Amg Vic video from like 2years ago he’s better now. And y’all critizing but watch when they make it and y’all still broke making fun of people. They love to talk hella shit because clearly they must hate themselves. How old are yous acting like a little kid talking shit on the internet about people and what they do to make there come up y’all praying on they downfall only makes them get up harder

    • 508Bitch
      January 28, 2021 at 2:54 pm

      Righttt yall are trippin. Amg vic is doing it way better than yall so yall sound fucking stupid. Next time you think of Vic being an “aweful” rapper just think of how much shit hes been doing and yall are just over here doggin on people because yall dont like yourselves! LMFAOOO

      • Badabing
        February 11, 2021 at 12:39 am

        Y’all are crazy amg Vic is very very good haterz man amg Vic is doing it kids a beast shut the fuck up turtle boy your a bitch anyways

  • don
    December 20, 2018 at 9:50 am

    fo shizzle a dizzle with a snizzle at the frizzle. wtf does that even mean?

  • don
    December 20, 2018 at 9:49 am

    what ever happened to music having a story? these days there is no stories to any of these mother goose rhymes. all they do is make sure the last word rhymes with the next last word and they call it a song. i have no clue what any of these rap songs mean these days. they make no sense. here is my homemade rap……hanging in the crib with my shorty, drinkin a forty. cheese makes my job betta. wtf does cheese and a job have in common? thats what they do. they throw words in there that make no sense. its as if the word can be whatever meaning they want it to be. rappers are the most uneducated people on the planet. if it wasnt for the bass in the music, then noone would ever know who they are. Ok im out…WORD HOMIE

  • Chris
    December 19, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    You forgot the grand douchebag of them all…Ross Maq. If you want to see Lowell’s finest scum just watch one of his vids. 

  • John "I wouldn't be shit without steroids" Cena
    December 19, 2018 at 1:25 pm

    2 Best rappers in MA are Token and Cena aka Alpha Dog and Flamingo

  • Grandpa Frank
    December 19, 2018 at 12:10 pm

    That last one was a real hoot, it’s hard to look gangsta when your whip is a 1998 Chevy S-10 pickup with peeling clear coat…

  • Actual Musician
    December 19, 2018 at 11:37 am

    1920s era parent: Scott Joplin is shit!
    1930s era parent: Louis Armstrong is shit!
    1940s era parent: Frank Sinatra is shit!
    1950s era parent: Elvis Presley is shit!
    1960s era parent: The Beatles are shit!
    1970s era parent: The Bee Gees are shit!
    1980s era parent: U2 is shit!
    1990s era parent: Nirvana is shit!
    2000s era parent: Rap music is shit!

    Guess which parents are right?

  • marilu
    December 19, 2018 at 11:17 am

    i thought there would be more content from Spfld., i know there is plenty out there

  • WhatUpWitMyNigaz
    December 19, 2018 at 10:14 am

    The pernicious N word popping up everywhere e en in rap videos. What has this world come to?

  • Mark LoPresti
    December 19, 2018 at 10:11 am

    I’ll be hummin that “ let the hoe n…. sing” all day. Jk. What trash

  • Holla
    December 19, 2018 at 9:35 am
  • Every Real Man
    December 19, 2018 at 9:34 am

    Yo yo, where my WASPS at?

    https://youtu.be/PTU2He2BIc0

  • Mahky Mahk Ballbag
    December 19, 2018 at 9:25 am

    I don’t give FUCK what y’all n***** say . That Springfield dope is sum tite bullshit! Hoe N**** Sing is way better than anything by Tupac Shakur and his brotha Sixpac Liqueur combind.

    FUCK YALL BITCH ASS N*****!

  • Know your place
    December 19, 2018 at 7:09 am

    Vic has talent! Watch a video that’s not 3,4 years old. And it don’t matter what any of you say! West end bitches!!!!!

  • Dee
    December 18, 2018 at 10:48 pm

    The one from that she said is from Grafton really isn’t..it’s grafton hill in Worcester, so that’s wrong. That is a horrible song and a horrible video, but I know these people personally. Matt is such a sweet guy and he’s really nice and doesn’t deserve all the hate for being overweight. Mike is a good guy as well and Cassie is a beautiful person. This was just 3 friends having fun in their early 20s… yes, it is god awful to watch but I’m pretty sure they’ve moved on to bigger and better things now. They are good people and not druggies or white trash.

    • Let me up, I've had enough
      December 19, 2018 at 1:21 pm

      The internet is forever.

    • Sir Wilfred Death
      December 19, 2018 at 3:21 pm

      You make a good point. Some of the performers are kids. So maybe I was a bit hasty. Sorry kids. At least you were doing something creative.

      The older ones who think they are rappers remind me of an urban Emmalyn Anderson (hawt).

  • Rap God
    December 18, 2018 at 10:31 pm

    PLEASE go watch the Lean Team from Middleboro. They paid Riff Raff $3k to be in their video and its absolutely hilarious trash

  • Wambo
    December 18, 2018 at 10:24 pm

    What about this guy?

    https://youtu.be/vE6jKrbwjg8

    • That guy, you know the one...
      December 19, 2018 at 2:11 am

      Some of that was shot in what looks like my friend’s back yard with his kid in the shot.
      Too funny. Rap from cow tippin country.

  • Amy Marks
    Amy Marks
    December 18, 2018 at 9:26 pm

    Bristol Turtlechick, you seriously are a talented writer. I don’t think I’ve read anything more clever, imaginative or hilarious. You need to write a book yourself! 

    After a rather shitty 11 hour nurse day, I had a good laugh and am now in a better mood. 

  • Natasha
    December 18, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    Down Syndrome from Grafton says he’s college bound if you listen carefully though… I see that dude going places

  • Natasha
    December 18, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    The Fall River one is pretty funny… and yes, clearly a joke. The rest are sad. Love the kid pouring out the sour patch kids

  • whatevuh
    whatevuh
    December 18, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    I vote for the Grafton Hill FupaSlob . . . . he needs a 4×4 to haul that fat ass around, talk about a fucking loser . . .

  • z
    December 18, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    Springfield is just sad.

    Fall River is slightly amusing but real, real old (2009).

    I’ve heard that a few of the singers in these videos have since gone on to successful PHDs. Just joking, but there’s always the chance at least some of these people figured it out.

    Did you know that the lead singer of 80-90s punk rock band The Offspring does have a PHD for real in molecular biology? They did “Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)” + “Self Esteem”.

    Brian May of Queen has a PHD in Astrophysics.

    Books can’t always be judged by their cover.

    • Sandy Curoche
      December 19, 2018 at 9:04 am

      Did you really compare these “artists” with the guitarist from Queen and singer from Offspring? Two bands that sold a combined 50 million albums and a bunch of shadrools who got crud on their shirts and can’t spell dog backwards?

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    December 18, 2018 at 4:46 pm

    These are especially strong examples of local oxygen thieves but I have to say I’m a bit disappointed that 860 Money Crew and Cindy’s Ice Cream didn’t make the cut. There’s so much uselessness and failure out there manifested as rap videos that the competition is fierce.

    Good writing Bristol Turtle Chick. Very good. How about making this a regular feature? Talk about a target-rich environment.

    • December 18, 2018 at 4:50 pm

      I definitely go to the weird parts of YouTube enough to make that happen!

    • mike
      December 18, 2018 at 6:00 pm

      860 isn’t Massachusetts, retard.

      • Leonard Washington
        December 20, 2018 at 6:38 pm

        True, but who but a total hick would know where it is?

  • Clitty Litter
    December 18, 2018 at 4:04 pm

    Nope. Not gonna do it. Can’t watch this shit.
    Maybe one day when P-Hub is down.
    Maybe.

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