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I can tolerate a metric shit ton of super dumb criminals, I’m originally from NJ/NY and then moved to Somerville when I turned 18. I have seen some shit. One of the major things I won’t tolerate is straight up thievery, especially when that thievery is poorly and stupidly executed. There’s an art to stealing shit and whoever the hell this is has not yet mastered it as their full face can easily be seen on this surveillance video.

“The Pembroke Police Department is requesting the public’s assistance in identifying the individual in the photographs below. The person is a suspect in the theft of a purse at the Stop & Shop on Church St. If you have any information please contact us at 781-293-6363 and refer to case #18-7214.”

Oh my, despite being really bad at being a thief, at least she’s a Brockton 10. Seriously girl, with that face and that ass you could easily get yo’self a nice toothless crackhead sugar daddy. You don’t need to steal purses to get some extra cash, just flaunt that fanny around East Bridgewater and you’ll have everything you need in no time, except for any self esteem or self worth. Not that you have that anyway considering you’re ripping off purses at Stop & Shop.

I’m curious as to why she’s wearing jeans and a sweater in July. That apparel kind of makes you stick out like a sore thumb in a store in the summer and generally when someone is dressing like that they’re ripping shit off left and right. Definitely isn’t conducive to theft as you ain’t blending in for shit. I’d imagine it’s pretty god damned difficult to take everything that isn’t nailed down while wearing a romper, but at least make an attempt at trying to be inconspicuous. This is just lazy. This chick needs to be caught if for no other reason than she’s just really terrible at snatchin’ purses and whatever else.

If anyone knows who this skag might be then let us know so we can blow her ass up and send it on over to the PPD.

Manchesterturtlette@gmail.com or Esther Manch on Facebook.