Tinkle Tornado Starts $1,500 GoFundMe After Breaking Leg While Being Dragged Out Of Dedham Stop n’ Shop Shitter Mid-Whiz By Wild Cheesehog

Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here


Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship.


Is there anywhere in this country where a white chick can go without being kidnapped, assaulted, or sold into sex slavery? Asking for a friend.

So let me get this straight. This tinkle tornado was trying to take a whiz in the Stop n Shop women’s room, where she assumed she was alone. She used her foot (that’s normal) to put the toilet seat down (which for some reason was up in the women’s room), and this angered another woman in the bathroom who had a child, who she somehow did not notice at first. The woman, who may or may not also be a sex trafficker, then went full SWAT team on the shitter door and dragged the tinkle tornado out by her hair mid-pee and proceeded to punch her so hard it broke her leg. Of course the lazy Dedham cops are now blaming the victim after the crazy lady beat her to the punch (no pun intended) and gave the cops the exact same story the tinkle tornado just gave WCVB. They’re also refusing to call DCF, despite the fact that crazy lady mom did this all in front of her child. Consequently the victim can’t take care of her own daughter, won’t be able to graduate from UMass, and missed a job interview for a HR position.

And her proof that all this happened? This picture:

Which appears to be a Jane Doe’s sock pointing upward at a paneled ceiling. Presumably during the beating, or shortly thereafter, she grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket (even though she was pantsless at the time) and was able to take this damning photographic evidence. She didn’t take a picture of the woman, or her broken leg, but I still believe her yo!!

Clams with tittooes never lie. Everyone knows that.

The post was shared some 80 times but appears to be gone now. Nevertheless, it temporarily existed on the Internet which according to science means it’s 100% true.

Obviously the next step was the GoFundMe.


Even though she didn’t mention having a job prior to this incident, and she claims she’s enrolled in classes at UMass, she can’t work at this imaginary job for 6-8 weeks. And don’t you dare speculate as to how someone could break their leg in a bathroom fight. That kind of stuff happens all the time!!

Yea Doris, your post makes no sense. Tinkle tornado’s post makes TONS of sense. Plus, she commented on WCVB’s Facebook page, which means there’s no way possible she could be lying. Here’s a picture of her broken let to prove it, because the only way her leg could’ve been broken is by getting into Stop n Shop shitter beef with a rabid cheesehog. Just shut up and give her $1,500 for “justice.” That’s all justice costs in America. $1,500.

21 Comment(s)
  • Tom
    September 11, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    She’s aggressive. I watched her attack several girls. I don’t know.

  • Leslie
    August 21, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    Ask confused because I’m pretty sure when they clean bathrooms they leave the seat up? Not to mention the transgender community. How the fuck do you know why the seat was up? This is so dumb it blows my mind. That’s what happens when you do no research. How are you a journalist again?

  • Leslie
    August 21, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    But wait this is so dumb… are you that stupid? Her leg is clearly broken in the picture….? You really need to pay attention and do some research ‍♀️

  • Boner
    November 14, 2018 at 7:39 am

    I wanna blow a load on her busted leg

  • Dedham and Norwood
    November 13, 2018 at 12:07 pm

    The way you know who are the lying sacks of shit is that they are the ones who answer a question with a question.

    “Why would you unlock the door then turn to flush the toilet?”
    “If I attacked her, wouldn’t she have some form of marks or evidence I did this?”

    That’s a new fucking addition to the same handbook that contains:

    “Why would I steal that purse if I knew you were standing right there?”

    The cops went all in on her because they see this kind of shit from rachets all the time. Tell that cunt to watch her fucking mouth before she catches a real beating for being a fucking wiseass.

    Fucking shit. They sweep all the minorities out of the Washington Street projects in Roslindale and drop them in Dedham on the other side of Legacy Place, and right the fuck away the whole area becomes rachet.

    Screw your fucking heads on right, ghetto rats. We’re not going to fuck around with your bullshit.

  • F the turtle
    November 13, 2018 at 11:56 am

    But you saw other pictures and the report ? Why don’t you write about that “south shore” girl lmao you’re so corny.. you reported a true story claiming she is lying, this is going to be terrible for your writing career and reputation. I doubt any man there respects you anyway

    • You Got Yours
      November 13, 2018 at 1:25 pm

      Shut the fuck up, Alyssa.

    November 13, 2018 at 11:45 am

    This is libel and you will be sued… completely false accusations of her lying and not having a job. You don’t know this girl at all and did no research, I would highly suggest removing this article.

    • Your Mother's Blistery Cuntflaps
      November 13, 2018 at 12:10 pm

      In return, I highly suggest you go fuck yourself with both hands.

  • Stunt Penis
    November 13, 2018 at 11:09 am

    A condition of being enrolled at UMASS is you have health insurance. If you do not provide proof of health insurance, UMASS charges you for health insurance, to the tune of $1200 or so per semester. Take a look at UMASS Boston’s Tuition and Fees chart, for instance. 1,217.00

    So, either:

    1. She’s lying about being enrolled at UMASS, or
    2. She’s lying about not having health insurance

    either way, she’s lying.

  • Jen
    November 13, 2018 at 10:01 am

    This story is bullshit.. you indeed are a loser for this one

  • Public Toilets Are Dangerous
    November 12, 2018 at 10:17 pm

    This story would have been far better if the “victim” had been pinching off a loaf when this crazed toilet fiend attacked her. There would have been far more sympathy for her if she had been forced to wallow around in a pile of steaming feces while and after being so unjustly beaten. And think of the pics….instead of a sock covered foot she could have taken a picture in the mirror of a shit covered liar.

  • Kenny
    November 12, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    This story sucks and is stupid.. where’s the crackheads ? The prostitutes? The meth head rappers? Who cares about this girl

  • Shit house poet
    November 12, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    Everyone knows that stop and shop shit houses are the filthiest and most disgusting public bathrooms out there, even beating out star market in the fenway. The fact that she had to put the seat down in a ladies room supports my claim even more, unless a “special” girl with a cock and balls went in before her to take a piss, which could be true. You know she was midway pushing out a log and was probably moaning and groaning thinking about her baby daddy stretching out her shit pipe when the other lady was like shut the fuck up cunt. This story is great though, how embarrassing for a female to admit that she was in a stop and shop shitter and got attacked just to get a little attention!
    We need cameras in shitters now!

  • Fuck you
    November 12, 2018 at 4:40 pm

    Licker person… no one cares about Worcester, don’t bring this BS to other towns destroying people and places even though everyone knows this is shit news

  • Clitty Litter
    November 12, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    Worcester Life Lesson: consider everyone is full of shit until proven otherwise.

  • Bobby
    November 12, 2018 at 4:19 pm

    Why would she post on the news asking them to cover it if she was lying ? Seems she just wanted justice.. don’t know why you had to pick her to bash out of all the other scams, seems legit to me. Crazy story that’s for sure, but looks like a nice girl.

  • Cameron
    November 12, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    Me and my husband were fans, had this downloaded on our phones. We are very disappointed as we know this girl and that her story is true. You are going to lose a lot of fans over this, hope you are aware of that.

  • Amanda
    November 12, 2018 at 3:39 pm

    You are a stupid fuck. This is a factual event. You clearly did no research because you would know there is a police report and you could of called stop n shop. You saw her one post to the news and base a whole article off it because you have no life. You will never be barstool, you suck. You’re a terrible journalist that you have to bash people for likes and shares and followers. Sad sad sad

  • Schutzstaffel
    November 12, 2018 at 3:03 pm

    That’s what happens when black and Hispanics move into a town.

    Prove me wrong.

  • Chris
    November 12, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    That’s not a camera smartass, it’s a sprinkler head in the ceiling.

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron