Sports

Tom Brady Is The MVP And It Shouldn’t Even Be Close This Year Because He Never, Ever Costs His Team Games

Anyone who doesn’t think Tom Brady is the MVP this year should go back to playing with dolls, because they don’t know anything about football.

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The GOAT is finally getting some love from the four letter network:

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This isn’t even really a debate. Of course Tom Brady is the MVP. He’s having the best season of his career and his team is 11-2 and in the driver’s seat to the Super Bowl. Nothing else matters. Yet still the haters gonna hate:

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Yes, the Patriots went 3-1 during Brady’s archaic, unprecedented suspension for being the victim of science and Nazis. But who’d they beat? Arizona? Turns out they suck. They barely beat the Dolphins. The defense beat the Texans on their own. And then they got SHUTOUT by the lowly Buffalo Bills at home!! That’s not good. We survived those 4 games, but if we had to do it all season we’d be 8-5 or 7-6 right now at best.

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Here’s what matters. Brady leads the league in Quarterback rating. Brady has as many touchdowns as Matthew Stafford in four less games. Brady is second in the league in average yards per game, only because his team is often up by so much that they run the ball at the end (unlike Drew Brees whose team is always down and he’s forced to throw until the bitter end). Brady has only two interceptions. Brady has only one loss.

But the most important stat is the number of games that Tom Brady has cost his team – zero. Brady’s only loss to the Seahawks was not his fault. The defense just couldn’t stop Russell Wilson and Doug freaking Baldwin that game. But he didn’t throw a costly interception in the final minutes that every other quarterback in the league does from time to time.

But what about Brady’s primary competitors – Ezekial Elliot, Derek Carr, Matthew Stafford, and Matt Ryan? All three of the QB’s have blown games for their teams at some point:

  • In week 7 the Falcons were putting the nail in the coffin against San Diego. All they had to do was pick up a couple first downs and the game was over. Instead Matty Ice threw an INT in the final minute, setting up a game tying Chargers field goal in a game that San Diego went on to win in overtime. Oh yea, and he lost to the Eagles a couple weeks ago and had his worst game of the season. Brady has had exactly zero games like this.

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  • Derek Carr just had his biggest matchup of the season against the Kansas City Chiefs. First place in the division was on the line, which means a lot because whoever doesn’t win that division gets the 5 seed and has to play on the road in the first round of the playoffs. Derek Carr responded by having his worst game of the season, throwing for 117 yards and completing less than 50% of his passes. He’s had a great season, but he came up small when it mattered most.
  • Matthew Stafford being the MVP is laughable. Yes, his team is surprisingly 9-4 and headed to the playoffs. But he’s got the same amount of TD’s as Brady and he played four more games. Meanwhile, when he’s bad, he’s really, really bad. He had a QBR of 40 and threw for 0 TD’s and 2 INT’s in a loss to the abortion known as the Chicago Bears. Then there’s his loss to the Titans in week 2in which he threw a critical interception with 18 seconds left when he was just 10 yards away from putting his team in range for a game winning field goal.

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  • Ezekial Elliot plays running back. Nothing more needs to be said. Running backs are the most replaceable and expendable players in the NFL. They are worth nothing. They are only as good as the line that blocks for them and the coach who sets up their offense. The Cowboys just happen to have the greatest offensive line we’ve seen in 20 years.

So yea, Brady has the best stats, and all he does is win. Everyone else has had good seasons, but at some point in critical situations they’ve proven to be un-Brady-like. They know it. We know it. Everyone knows it. Tom Brady will be the MVP and the Patriots will win the Super Bowl this year because God just loves us more.

 

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9 Comment(s)
  • Rk
    December 15, 2016 at 10:44 pm

    “he shouldn’t be ALOUD to win it”

    Good call genius

  • JoeMomma
    December 15, 2016 at 8:34 am

    My favorite was 2001….they split the MVP between Manning and McNair…. both of whom Brady beat in the regular season and eliminated both from the playoffs…..yeah, they were sure more valuable than Brady.

  • Talisman
    December 14, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    Out 4 games and he has a higher rating than my QB, FUCKER

  • BobnMic
    December 14, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    You know something – I’ve never seen Brady this intense. He was so into the zone I think he reinvented what that zone is. Did you see him go ballistic on the sidelines when things weren’t going exactly according to plan? This was not just a game last Monday night – it was a vendetta. It was a fuck you game you fucking pussy ass coach and whoever the fuck started up that whole deflategate utter bullshit. I never considered Brady as much as a long ball thrower as much as a strategist with more dink and dunks and more other creative moves giving the fact that he really cannot run. But holy fucking shit Monday night already. When Brady launched that 79-Yard Bomb to Chris Hogan perfectly for a TD I not only spilled my beer but also collateral damage included a bowl of nachos. It was the spontaneity of that play and the ultimate result in my opinion. Special teams took a nap at the end however with those mistakes as it should have been a blowout. They’ll fix that no doubt…

    • BobnPaul's Chat Shack
      December 15, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      I thought you were a Moet man, Bob? Literally have cases of the shit in your wine cellar!

  • BobnMic
    December 14, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    KJDS – It means Greatest Of All Time. GOAT. Which is so fucking true…

    • BobnMic
      December 14, 2016 at 4:04 pm

      It’s kinda similar when they started using POTUS describing the Presidency of the United States. So stupid and kind of lazy if you ask me. I had to figure that fucking thing out as well. So what’s next? IHTGTB – I have to go the bathroom? WTF. See I just did it again with what the fuck…

      • Fuck Off And Die BobnMic
        December 15, 2016 at 8:37 am

        Do you know what FOAD means?

  • KimberlyS
    KJDS
    December 14, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    Can someone please explain the GOAT reference at the beginning of this article? Thanks 🙂

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