Sports

Top 10 Reasons The Patriots Won’t Be In The Super Bowl And Turtleboy Is Dead Inside

Remember to like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page, which we use to post blogs when the Turtleboy Sports Facebook account is suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, this will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible: Wormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing, Bennie’s Cafe, Craftech Restoration, JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban Barbecue, Attorney Michael Erlich, Smitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors, Solarreviews.net, The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno, Monster Movers, Firesafe Chimney Services, The Law Office Of Joseph J. Carigila, Skyhook Tree And Sons

Want to have your business advert seen 1 million times per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer. Want to make money real fast? We will pay you cash if you bring us advertisers.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store. Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 4.54.34 PM

 

 

Turtleboy is man enough to admit when he’s wrong. We underestimated the Denver Broncos. Their quarterback is mediocre, their receivers are above average, but their defense is legitimate. God still loves us more, simply because we were even in that game after the amount of colossal fuck ups we had. Imagine living in Buffalo and what you would give to just witness a Bills wild card football game. They would kill a man for that. Meanwhile we’re guaranteed to be in the AFC Championship every single year. God still loves us more.

We were still the better team, but due to the fact that we basically handed games to the Dolphins and Eagles, we didn’t deserve to have homefield advantage, which obviously would’ve played a huge factor in this game. Turtleboy is dead inside.

If the Broncos had a real quarterback they could’ve won that game by 30. Our defense let up 20 points, but Tom Brady literally handed them 7 in the 1st quarter with an un-Brady like INT on the Broncos 20 yard line. In the second half they did jack shit. Malcolm Butler made a HUGE tackled on CJ Anderson on a key 3rd down. Jamie Collins had a huge sack. It was just play, after play, after play on defense. It didn’t hurt that Manning missed a wide open received in the end zone in the 2nd half, and the Broncos had to settle for 3 points instead of 7.

Big swing? Yes. But the Patriots should’ve been able to overcome it. No excuses. With that said, here are the 10 biggest reasons the Patriots lost the AFC Championship.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

10. Logan Ryan call vs. T.J. Ward non-call. 

Let me be very, very clear about this – we lost this game fair and square. The refs had very little to do with this, and were pretty fair at the end of the day. There was one sequence in the 1st quarter that fucked us over, but shit like that happens in football. This was the call on Logan Ryan which kept a Denver scoring drive alive, vs. a non-call on T.J. Ward which resulted in a punt:

Nevertheless, shit happens in football. Bad judgement calls are a routine part of the game. Yes, this was a big swing, but it happened early and we had plenty of time to overcome it and didn’t.

 

 

9. Giving receivers all this space in the 1st quarter. 

This one is on Matt Patricia. They acted like these yards didn’t matter. Third and 10, they literally just handed Emmanuel Sanders a first down. Second and 11 they decided that some no name chump wasn’t worth covering so Manning threw to him. This drive resulted in a touchdown.

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

 

 

8. Missed extra point. 

What is there to say? Shit happens. The ultimate irony is that Belichick was the one who wanted the extra point pushed back. But it happened early in the game. Should’ve been inconsequential.

 

 

7. Didn’t kick field goals. 

When they elected not to kick a field goal with 2:20 left in game, it was KIND OF understandable. They were down 8, but they still had the timeouts, and more importantly, Peyton Manning couldn’t do shit on our defense. They should’ve kicked it. But the unforgivable happened with 6:00 left when they went for it on 4th down instead of taking the easy 3 points, down 17-12. They kick either field goals in those situations and we win the game.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.10.28 AM

 

 

6. Owned in punting game in second half.

Peyton couldn’t do anything in the second half. Literally nothing. He was bailed out time and time again by Brandon Colquitt. He was one of the top 3 players for Denver in this game. His 2nd half punts were as follows: 53 yards, a 38 yarder that pinned us in the 10 yard line, 53 yards that pinned us at the 4 yard line, 54 yards, and 52 yards. Danny Amendola had nowhere to run. Our punt return unit got owned in the second half. This was a HUGE reason we lost this game.

 

 

5. Jump balls to James White. 

Hey I got a question – why did we waste a roster spot on Brandon LaFell in this game? They obviously had no intention of using him. I know he drops the ball a lot, but if you’re afraid to throw to him then why have him out there? LaFell is good for one type of play – the deep out. But yet they kept using James White, who is 5 foot nothing, 100 nothing, on plays that were clearly better designed for someone like LaFell. In what alternate universe did Josh McDaniels think it would be wise to keep chucking deep balls like these to James White?

Those all came on 1st or 2nd and 10’s. All of them were waste of downs.

 

 

4. Jamie Collins got owned by Owen Daniels twice.

Jamie Collins is a hell of a football player and we are blessed to have him on this team. He made some huge plays today. But the fact of the matter is that he got roasted by a below average tight end twice, both resulting in touchdowns.

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 10.29.52 AM

 

3. Draw plays fucking up drives.

Josh freaking McDaniels should be brought into town square and chained to Tracy Novick for 24 hours for what he did with these draw plays yesterday. Here’s a quick rundown of all the times they thought it would be wise to run the ball when it wasn’t:

  • Pats just got a 1st down on opening drive. Draw play to James White gets two yards. Now in second and long, force it Edelman. Third down force it to Gronk. Turnover.
  • 2nd quarter, down 7-0. After big Gronk catch for first down, Gronk commits penalty. First and 15. Draw play to James White 12:30. 0 yards.
  • Second quarter. Ward gets called for PI on Gronk. Draw play to Brandon Bolden for 0 yards on 1st and 10.
  • Second quarter. Big 1st down pass to James White. Draw play to Steven Jackson on 1st and 10 for 0 yards.
  • Denver punts, 2:27 left 2nd quarter. 1st and 10. Draw play to Steven Jackson, 2 yards. Brady tries forcing to Keshown Martin. Draw play to White. Punt. Broncos score to take 17-9 halftime lead.
  • 3rd quarter, 11:15 left, 2nd and 10 on Denver 20. Draw play to James White. 0 yards. On 3rd down Brady forces to Amendola in double coverage. Settle for 3.
  • 7:30 left in 4th quarter after big Edelman catch. Ball on Broncos 25 yard line. Draw play to White. Pats end up scoring 0 points on this critical drive, down 17-12.

The point is that Brady kept being put in these situations where statistically he was unlikely to convert. Second and 8 or second and 11 or 3rd and 10, almost always results in no touchdown. Instead of doing short dump outs to White or Edelman, they were OBSESSED with draw plays, as if we were in a position to waste plays. McDaniels is so overrated.

 

 

2. The line sucked.

What can you say? They got eaten alive. Marcus Cannon is gonna take a lot of heat and rightfully so because Von Miller made him his bitch. But at the end of the day Von Miller is supposed to make Marcus Cannon his bitch. He’s a vastly superior player. The one people aren’t blaming enough is Kline. Time and time again he was steamrolled directly into Brady. We need to pick an OL in the first round of the draft this year. Oh wait, we don’t have a first round pick because Roger Goodell stole it from us for no reason. No big deal, we’ll overcome it like we always do.

 

1. Tom Brady sucked.

At the end of the day the buck stops with Brady and he was horrible. Yes his line gave him no time, but at the end of the day Von Miller owned Brady’s brain. This play right here says it all:

Gronk was wide open. Easy first down. And Brady looked like Turtleboy did the first time ever making love – nervous, awkward, and unable to finish the job. Then there was the interception in the first half on their own 20 yard line, in which Brady literally just handed them a touchdown:

Once again, Gronk was wide open but Brady wasn’t even remotely close. Finally on the failed two point conversion he had Gronk WIDE OPEN streaking toward the corner of the end zone:

CZlHKNaWcAAKd3C.jpg-large

CZlHMuMWwAA1ohx.jpg-large

Brady was running in the same direction and it was an easy convert. Instead he decided to throw across his body to Edelman in double coverage. They deserved to lose because Tom Brady wasn’t good enough.

unnamed-17

So in conclusion, God still loves us more. He is just testing us, as usual. We still have Tom Brady, and we still have Bill Belichick, and now they’re gonna be pissed. The last time we lost to Denver in an AFC Championship game we followed it up by addressing our weaknesses (signing Revis) and winning a Super Bowl. You can put it in the bank that we fix all of our problems (offensive line) and come back angrier and stronger next year. Because at the end of the day, we can’t win it every single year, but we will ALWAYS be competitive. This is something that no other team in the league can say. This is why God loves us more. This is why were are blessed to be Patriots fans.

 

 

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

unnamed-7

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 4.54.34 PM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.10.28 AM

unnamed-4

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 10.29.52 AM


unnamed

unnamed-17

Want to have your business advert seen by over 1 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

 

 

11 Comment(s)
  • Gronkmonster
    January 26, 2016 at 12:13 am

    Von would be in your head after one hit…O line sucked hard..3 man rush was busting through all because we would rather take a practice squader than hire a guy with experience

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    January 25, 2016 at 10:04 pm

    That game was painful. And when my coworker who’s a Seahawks fan came in I looked right at him and said, “Go ahead – get your shit talking in now. Because tomorrow I’m coming right back at you.”

  • Del Griffith
    January 25, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    The Patriots should be forced to winter in Colrain as punishment for losing.

  • Reddog
    January 25, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    Still a proud patriots fan. Things could be worse. I could live in buffalo or st louis

  • BobnMic
    January 25, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    *can’t say

  • BobnMic
    January 25, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Hey – To be able to celebrate 4 Super Bowl championships in one life time is something a lot of other than Patriot football fans can say. In that regard we are extremely fortunate.

  • BLADERUNNER
    January 25, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    THEY LOST,IT’S ONLY A GAME,BRADY SPENT MORE TIME ON HIS BACK THAN A NEVADA BUNNY RANCH HOOKER THERE IS ALWAYS NEXT YEAR……………..

  • BLADERUNNER
    January 25, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    THEY LOST,IT’S ONLY A GAME,BRADY SPENT MORE TIME ON HIS BACK THAN A NEVADA BUNNY RANCH HOOKER

  • Finnish Goalie
    January 25, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    “Their quarterback is mediocre, their receivers are above average, but their defense is legitimate.”

    Funny. That quote could have be taken right out of an opponent fan blog from the early 2000s in regards to the Patriots.

  • Diamond Merchant
    January 25, 2016 at 12:29 pm

    Sacrifices must be made to the gods.

Leave a Reply to Del Griffith Cancel reply

*

RELATED POSTS
Who Did A Better Job Of Cheating: Jason Kidd or Mike Tomlin?
Cleveland Browns Backup QB Is Best Kept Freak Show In NFL
Priceless Fan Reactions to Alabama-Auburn Game As BCS Fails Again In It’s Final Season