WTF

Totally Not Crazy Pembroke Animal Hoarder’s 5 Year Rooster Beef Comes To An End When Board Of Health Banishes Her Rooster Because He Can’t Shut The Fuck Up

 

Pembroke is a boony town in the south shore I’ve spent a lot of time in. There isn’t a lot of crime there, but there is rooster beef. Not even joking either – the biggest ongoing saga in town for the last 5 years. It’s been an ongoing saga that revolves around this woman and her rooster:

Kaitlyn Bergin lives on a busy road called Mattakeesett Street, close to the center of town. Across the street from her is Rich and Donna Restucci.

Kaitlyn has appointed herself some sort of animal rescuer, taking in dogs, chickens, goats, and other livestock over the years, and at times has had over 40 animals on her property. The Restuccis seem like completely reasonable people, but they’ve reached their breaking point with their rooster whisperer neighbor.

Two years ago the Restucci’s took her to board of health with a complaint because her roosters can’t seem to shut the fuck up.

Rooster owner Kaitlyn Bergin of Mattakeesett Street has been given 10 days to comply with the town bylaw that prohibits excessive noise. Further violations could bring $50 fines. On Monday night, the town’s board of health held a third hearing session on complaints that have been filed by Rich and Donna Restucci, who live next door to Bergin. The Restuccis say Bergin’s roosters create noise that violates the bylaw, which states that excessive noise is not allowed between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m. on weekdays and between 10 p.m. and 8 a.m. on weekends.

In a video provided to the board by the Restuccis, a rooster can be heard crowing. The video shows the date and time, establishing that the noise was made at an hour when excessive noise is prohibited. Bergin said she leaves for work at 6:30 a.m. and has to let the roosters out before she departs. She said the upcoming change to Eastern Standard Time will solve the problem.

Board of health member Gary Fine said, “We are trying to follow the letter of the law by giving Ms. Bergin 10 days to comply. We had a small uproar at our meeting two weeks ago, and we didn’t want to let that happen tonight. She may already be compliant, but she has 10 days starting tomorrow (today) to be 100 percent compliant. We are giving her time, so there is fairness with that component.”

If, after the 10-day period, the Restuccis again complain that rooster noise is violating the bylaw, town Health Agent Lisa Cullity will visit Mattakeesett Street. If she confirms that a violation is occurring, she will levy a fine of $50.

“I asked our attorney when she came in if the board is more of an enforcement agency or a mediator,” Fine said. “We tried to mediate but were unable to, and then had to regulate.”

At the board’s first meeting on the issue, Bergin said moving the rooster coop from one side of her property to the other was a possible solution. But she also said she would not be able to afford the cost, which she estimated at several hundred dollars.

Yea, it seems to be that if you can’t afford a couple hundred bucks to move your rooster coop from one part of your yard to the other then you probably shouldn’t be playing Noah’s Ark on your property. But that’s just me.

Two years ago Kaitlyn spoke at a board of health meeting with the Restuccis who played video of the rooster’s crowing (1:07:00), and Kaitlyn claimed that she has 4 dogs, one of who is autistic (38:55, and yes, she actually said her dog is autistic), as well as claiming that she has special needs chickens (58:05). This went on for an hour and a half.

Fast forward to this week, whatever remedies were promised didn’t work out because Kaitlyn still apparently has her roosters waking the neighbors up in the morning, so she was back in front of the board of health once again to account for her naughty cocks. According to her the neighbors should put in earplugs, and she wasn’t happy with the resolution.

The ol’ slippery slope argument – first you came for my roosters, then you came for my turkeys, then you came for my crotch fruits.

This is what qualifies as drama in Pembroke. It’s all everyone’s been squawking about on Pembroke Connect Facebook group for the past few years. Seriously, just type in rooster and see what comes up in the search bar.

It’s really simple – the town bylaws say your rooster has to shut the fuck up before 7 AM. Failure to do so results in rooster expulsion. Plus, this isn’t her job. She’s not a farmer. This is literally just a hobby for her. She sells chicks for $5 that she breeds with the rooster, and sells their eggs for $3 a dozen.

She can’t be making much money off of this. And this is on a busy road, on less than an acre of land, in which neighbors really aren’t far apart.

That front yard is where dreams go to die.

The Restuccis were there first. They wouldn’t have moved into a house if they knew they had to deal with this rooster all the time. And they’ve been very patient over the years. Here they are in 2015 trying to make light of it.

Kaitlyn is constantly posting in the Pembroke Connect group about her animal drama.

Earlier in the year she admitted to antagonizing and recording her neighbor’s dog barking.

And she posts really sane stuff like this.

Huh?

She’s had issues with her goats on her own roof.

Has some GoFundMe’s for the dogs she brings in.

Two years ago she announced on Facebook that she would be disregarding the Board of Health’s sound advice to stop posting rooster beef on Facebook.

And since Pembroke is a right to farm community, the townsfolk are divided on the rooster beef.

The bottom line is that she’s choosing to be a pain in the ass and a nuisance. She doesn’t live on some 40 acre farm in the middle of nowhere. She has neighbors, who she doesn’t seem give a shit about because her hobbies trump their right to relative peace and quiet. So I’m with the Restuccis and the board of health on this one.

 

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28 Comment(s)
  • Kim Wescott
    TheCureForHope
    October 7, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    OK, so the bitch goes to work at 630 and the cocks are already doing their thing….

    What is preventing you from rescuing the roosters to give them a better home? One crack with a billie club and your problem is solved. Chicken soup or not.

    When your neighbor posts asking everyone to be on the lookout for her missing cocks, express sympathy and share the heck out of her post.

    Obviously, you are getting zero cooperation from your neighbors or your town. Take matters into your own hands. Enough already.

  • Autism watch
    October 7, 2019 at 2:59 pm

    She looks like Greta.

  • Silencio Dogood
    October 4, 2019 at 2:36 am

    Maybe a nice quiet dildo would soothe that savage beast’s need for cock, as for the bloat on the roof, feed it to the anorexic dog and drop some Agent Orange on the front lawn. Problems solved.

    PS i don’t know what to do about her pet daughter.

  • brianmorris1976
    Dick Trickle
    October 3, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    Animal diseases are no laughing matter. My sheep has Spina bifida and Crohn’s.

    • Lewkareem Alcindorjabber
      October 5, 2019 at 9:44 am

      Ya well my black sheep has sickle cell…

  • Siskel
    October 3, 2019 at 6:24 pm

    A nice 350 degree oven with homemade gravy will fix the problem

  • Y
    October 3, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    Get your cock out of my Chrysler!

  • Corinth Arkadin
    October 3, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    In all fairness…WHO GIVES A FUCK? You entitled fucking idiots sheltered away from the nation at large. I bet these assholes vote Democrat too.

    Try living in a community with Hispanics and Blacks racing down your street in rice burners and playing jigaboo music at top volume with bass all hours of the fucking night. You will fucking PRAY for the sound of nature at the ass crack of dawn.

    You’re not gonna have a good time when these fucking Somalis and their ilk move into your ‘hood. They keep all manner of wild animals including their demon spawn and let them run around unattended.

    • Christopher Lettiere
      October 3, 2019 at 4:44 pm

      I live on Dot Ave…I know exactly what you’re talking about:
      1999 BMW 3 Series parked on my side street, bumping the latest ratchet-rap (all bass, no treble).
      Honda Civics w/Munza mufflers racing day and night up and down the ave.
      8 year olds doing wheelies (no helmets/insurance) on motorized scooters.
      People drinking St Ides on my stoop/stairs.

      • george costanza
        The angry taint
        October 5, 2019 at 9:53 am

        I hear ya, close to Dot ave myself

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    October 3, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Enough of the cock jokes…geeezzz

    Who is the guy with Kaitlyn in the photo? He must be a real peckerhead

    • Learn to draw better
      October 26, 2019 at 11:31 pm

      He’s only a peckerhead because he dated that no eye browed psychopath

  • Dr. John
    October 3, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    Your dog is not autistic, your dog is stupid..

  • Foghorn Leghorn
    October 3, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    I say I say What an obnoxious human being this woman must be, hey lady the whole town probably hates you and your yard looks like Sanford and Son, clean it up and stop being an annoying insufferable douche.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    October 3, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    That lady loves cocks. She posts about cocks on Facebook all the time. Goes to meetings to talk about cocks She has cocks all over her yard. The woman just loves cocks.

  • Dees nutz
    October 3, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    2 words “pellet gun”

  • Richard Johnson
    October 3, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    She is very inconsiderate with her cock. She can’t just have a cock ruining an entire neighborhood
    Someone should choke her out of control cock

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    October 3, 2019 at 2:30 pm

    Here they come to snuff the rooster, aww yeah
    Yeah here come the rooster, yeah
    You know he ain’t gonna die
    No, no, no, ya know he ain’t gonna die

  • ncfoothillbilly
    October 3, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    Roosters are extra quiet in a quart mason jar or in a chicken pot pie. As someone who raises chickens for the eggs and meat Ill tell you that roosters care not about the time; theyll crow at 0230 if something wakes them up or if there are lights on, somewhere. Send those roosters down here and Ill make good use of them. Ive plenty of land for them to free range and plenty of time to eviscerate the bastiges for a nice chicken dinner. Free range food is the best.

  • Real_Finn
    Finn
    October 3, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    “Would it be selfish to set up a go fund for attorney fees?”

    Yes. But you did anyway. If you can’t afford 40 animals – don’t have 40 animals. The animals get brunt of it.

    Get Fucked,
    Finn

  • Ben Stiff
    October 3, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    This blog is gonna be nothing but cock jokes.

    • John Thomas
      October 3, 2019 at 2:23 pm

      what do you really want from this story–hard hitting analysis?
      broad wants to play “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom” in her backyard and
      neighbors want none of it. End of story.
      This is not Tolstoy…
      but how many local stories have an animal that is also a delightfully naughty euphemism as one of the main protagonists?
      don’t be a stick in the mud….or a “cock of the walk”…..

    • ncfoothillbilly
      October 3, 2019 at 2:32 pm

      If she can vigorously inhale a rooster shes got my vote…after she proves it…

    • Reality Check
      October 3, 2019 at 11:14 pm

      Do you know the difference between this lady and the rooster? The rooster says, “cock-a-doodle-do”. She says, “any cock will do!”

  • Christopher Lettiere
    October 3, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    If I was her neighbor, I would shove that cock right up her arse.

  • Yosemite Wham!
    October 3, 2019 at 1:46 pm

    somebody feed that cock to a bitch!!!

    no..seriously….female dogs love chicken..

  • eugene
    October 3, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    When I have a chicken that’s special needs I use Lemon Pepper seasoning,cures them every time.

  • Osiris
    October 3, 2019 at 1:32 pm

    It appears as though this lady really knows how to handle cocks, what’s the big deal????

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