If you ever need a reason NOT to go to Lynn, just watch this video.
Street beef, numerous people in pajamas during broad daylight, fights in front of school buses full of impressionable crotch fruits, third generation Dodge Caravans, and English as the backup language. Welcome to Lynn.
Let’s go to the play by play.
It starts off with Trap Queen Tracy and her pajama clad friend Parliament Light Patty yelling at flat brimmed Freddie after getting into a minor fender bender. She calls up her favorite hoodboogers to come down and fight her battles for her, and when they arrive she feels a lot more confident and lets flat brimmed Freddie know that he’s in for a world of shit.
Her muscle gets out of the car, assesses the situation, and decides that they’re not going to fight Trap Queen Tracy’s street beef this week.
They tell her they’re getting the fuck out of there, which makes her so upset she almost burst out of her Shaw’s brand leggings.
Flat brimmed Freddie revels in the joy of his victory which upsets Trap Queen Tracy, so she calls up the guys who just ditched her and begins yelling at them.
“You need to come back and whoop his ass, he’s saying that you left for a reason.”
This appears to be on a voicemail which they will likely ignore while passing blunts around back at the crib. Nevertheless she feels confident that the same guys who just told her to fuck off will be back to fight for her honor.
“You’re getting your ass whooped today. It’s a wrap. It’s a wrap. You wanna call me a crackhead? Look at this crackhead!!”
Rule #1 of Lynn – if you call a ho a crackhead to her face, you better be prepared to throw down right then and there.
All of a sudden the alleged crackhead, or someone defending the crackhead’s honor, let Trap Queen Tracy know that this sort of dialogue was unacceptable by pounding her in the cock kisser a few times.
The best part is that while reigning blows down upon Trap Queen Tracy, Red Bull Rhonda holds onto the Red Bull with her left hand, until she realizes that she also wants to use her left hand to punch Trap Queen Tracy in the head.
When you grow up in Lynn you learn how to fight a ho while not letting go of the Red Bull.
Finally the cops arrive and we find out what led up to this.
“Who hit you?”
TQT: ” I hit her because she slammed on her breaks.”
Translation – this whole thing was completely my fault for tailgating, but since the only tangible thing I have left is my pride, I’m gonna go full skankzilla on the people I just rear ended anyway.
Then at the end she talks a big game about “finding” Red Bull Rhonda, because she knows all the streets this woman normally walks on a Tuesday afternoon. But the fact of the matter is that she didn’t have to find her two minutes prior to this. She was right in front of her, getting beaten by her while Red Bull Rhonda maintained control of her Red Bull, before chasing her down in a parking lot and running to the cops as soon as they arrived.
Anyway, if Trap Queen Tracy or Parliament Light Patty wants to come on the live show to talk about it this weekend I’m sure Unc would love to have you on as a guest.
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