Social Justice Warriors

Tufts Hippies End Hunger Strike Due To Hunger

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Is there nothing more trendy than being a hippie protester in May 2015? So much so, in fact, that it has reached the point where no longer does anyone even care what cause you are protesting, as long as you are a pathetic-looking spoiled rich white kid holding some sort of make-shift cardboard sign.

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Such is the case here at Tufts University, where the hippies have been at work in full force all week to protest – of all things – the firing of school janitors. Now with all due respect, no one has more sympathy for any hard-working blue-collar worker than me, but what is interesting, is that not one of the hippies have ever disclosed any reason whatsoever why they think the janitors should not have been fired in the first place.

Which brings us to, the most pointless, meaningless protest the hippies have come up with yet – trying to starve themselves to death for absolutely no reason. Man this is brilliant. Mommy must be proud on Mother’s day that she spends $60,000 a year on her dumbass kid for college while they are sitting in the middle of the street with a cardboard sign protesting – oh nothing.

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One girl – in an effort to starve herself to death to save the custodian that probably despises everything about her – has “broken her fast” on Friday because she didn’t feel good. Didn’t see that coming! You mean if you don’t eat for 4 days, you might not feel good?! That $60,000 per year for your college education is really paying off.

The freaks (protesters) have vowed to keep their hunger strike going for as long as possible until there is “justice”. Meanwhile the janitors have all moved on and are looking for or found new jobs. Can’t wait to see which cause the hippies cling to next. Coming soon to a highway near you, chained to a barrel.

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6 Comment(s)
  • June 14, 2015 at 4:21 am

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  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    May 21, 2015 at 5:07 pm

    Nothing like the children of yuppies not understanding what it’s like to struggle.

    “I had to break my hunger strike because I was hungry!”

    Ok sweetheart, get back to me when you’ve eaten nothing but ramen noodles for a few weeks. And not a good flavor like beef. No – you eat chicken even though it doesn’t taste like anything!

  • RJ
    May 21, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    A hunger strike seems like a problem that solves itself.

    If you ignore it, it’ll stop at some point, one way or another.

  • JoeMomma
    May 21, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Remember Bobby Sands? 66 days without eating….get back to us in a month or two.

  • I"m Hungry
    May 21, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    I love that Smokestack Urban Barbecue is the sponsor in the middle of this hunger strike blog. Classic. 🙂

  • JayC
    May 21, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    Aren’t finals over? How about going home and getting a summer job like the generations before them? Or is a job landscaping, in retail, scooping ice cream, or waiting tables too taxing for them?

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