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The other day we called out these dooshnozzle parents in Turners Falls who have lawyered up and are going after Hillcrest Elementary School because their out of control children have been put in these “calm down rooms.” Well, as you know, we like to poke fun of certain towns and cities in our blogs. It’s nothing personal, and we know that often these towns have a lot more to offer. But it’s just a joke. That’s it. Nevertheless as we have seen with Colrain, Buffalo, and Spencer, some of these people don’t understand how satire works. That’s when the fan mail starts pouring in. Fan mail like this:
Love it. The fan mail of the week though comes from this man:
Good God. That is the most magnificent Voke-stache these eyes have ever seen.
His name is Austin Reynolds, and he is suffering from a serious case of Turtle-induced butthurt. First we got this message:
Looks like our Franklin County fan base is getting larger by the day!!! We also got tagged in a post on someone else’s page:
That moment when your house makes it’s debut on Turtleboy Sports. Fail.
Soon Austin Reynolds was sharing his thoughts:
Man, he sure likes the “n” word. Turners Falls 4 life!!! His home girl was chiming in too:
Aisha. Love it.
That’s when someone did the unexpected and called him out for Turtleboy calling him out for using the “n” word:
Turners Falls Gangsta!!!
Will Halloran continued to be the voice of reason, until our girl Aisha chimed in with some fine “whitespalining” about how it’s not really racist when people use the “n” word:
I’ll tell you one thing – these people sure are lucky there aren’t any black people in Franklin County. Shit would get awkward real quick. She wasn’t done though:
Finally another person named Sarah Ahern joined in the conversation, bringing the amount of people who have passed the MCAS to two:
LOL. LOVE IT!!! Love it when social justice warrior white folk explain to other white folk about why it’s not racist to use the “n” word if you say it with a Boston accent. She learned about that in her Sociology 101 class. Apparently this woman actually has a real job:
Love it. A white girl from Franklin County who finally moved to the big city of Holyoke and tells white people that other white people can use the “n” word so long as they don’t pronounce the “r” at the end of it.
This made Aisha feel quite empowered:
Then Austin jumped back in and explained to the world that it was OK because he had black friends:
The fact that he at one point lived in Florida is the least surprising aspect of this whole story.
He also doesn’t mind throwing the “f” word around, especially when he’s boasting about his lucrative career:
Oh Turners Falls. You really have some winners up there!!! Have they replaced Colrain as the new Turtleboy nemesis from Franklin County? Colrain has been way too quiet lately. I’m thinking Turners Falls has come for the crown.
Either way, it’s just a joke people. Lighten up. We’ve been to Montague a few times. There’s some lovely parts there. There’s also some dumps. And dumps are funnier than the non-dumps. If your house makes it onto Turtleboy Sports then maybe you should try getting that Lay-Z-Boy off your lawn and not park the broken down rape van on the sidewalk. Ya know, because you’re killing property value for your neighbors. We love you all regardless. Ride the turtle.
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