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Turtleboy Is Breaking Up With Kevin Lynch In Order To Protect Turtle Riders

Turtleboy Is Breaking Up With Kevin Lynch In Order To Protect Turtle Riders

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As you know, former Fitchburg mayoral candidate Kevin Lynch is batshit insane. We’ve all had a few good laughs reading his many, many rants, conspiracies, and impending massive lawsuits. Sure, it was hilarious when he was firing off names left and right accusing hundreds of people of being in on the Turtleboy conspiracy. But he’s just taking it way too far. The man has the worst case of turtle on the brain that we’ve ever seen. He’s posting pictures of people’s kids and calling people’s employers simply if they liked a comment from a Turtleboy article on Facebook. Not cool.

Then there was that time Lynchy was arrested for assaulting a police officer and firefighter in 2011 (while he was running for mayor), and on his phone they found pictures of the cop’s family from outside their house. CNN speculates that this might have cost him the election to Lisa Wong. Either way, we don’t want any of the loyal turtle riders out there to have this guy hiding in your bushes because you read our blogs.

Technically the things he is doing (posting pictures of people’s kids, calling people’s places of employment) are not illegal, and it’s clear that he’s doing it for attention. Therefore we’re not giving it to him anymore. Because nothing matters more to us than the safety of turtle riders, Turtleboy Sports Management has decided that we will not be blogging about him going forward unless it’s really, really newsworthy. If you wanna keep going at it with him on the many Facebook pages he has created, then more power to you. But we’re done. Here’s a link to the Fitchburg Topix page about some group that is conspiring and having secret meetings about Kevin. We have nothing to do with it.

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10 Comment(s)
  • TB girl
    February 29, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    Can’t fix stupid and you can’t fight crazy. Think this is a good decision, considering how unhinged he is, whether it be a mental illness, alcohol, or just plain being a conspiracy theorist. Not a defeat. A smart move. You don’t poke at or play with the bear.

  • BlackandWhite
    February 29, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    Now he can talk to himself and imaginary self.
    😐

  • biff
    February 29, 2016 at 8:58 am

    Smart move TB, we are all above him.

  • Peaches
    February 29, 2016 at 7:44 am

    I don’t agree. Now he thinks he has won. Where does Lynch work? Does he work? Call HIS employer. Play that way. Play anonymously.

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      February 29, 2016 at 4:10 pm

      Nobody wins this type of dangerous game.

  • Just Nick
    February 29, 2016 at 7:21 am

    probably for the best as Lynch is one loose cannon. Capable of physical attacks as was demonstrated by his arrest where he received 2 1/2 years on probation based on the incident.

  • BobnMic
    February 29, 2016 at 1:05 am

    He is beyond getting help. He needs to be incarcerated. I used to work for a steroid freak with bi-polar dispositions just like Kevin Lynch and it was hell for me. I felt like at any time this asshole would have a meltdown and hurt somebody. Well after I left the job he did hurt somebody. He took an employee’s head and slammed it onto a desk because of a disagreement.

    Same with this fucker. He will hurt somebody someday with a roid rage. Kevin Lynch should be locked up because he a steroid freak psychopath.

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    February 29, 2016 at 12:31 am

    I’m very glad to hear that this decision has been made – continuing to provide this man with the ammunition for his paranoid fixations can only lead to worse things, including the kind of violence he has displayed in the past. I hope for society’s sake that he gets help, as unlikely as that is with the current state of the mental health system.

  • BobnMic
    February 28, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    He’s got man boobs.

  • Wormtown Refugee
    February 28, 2016 at 9:28 pm

    Lynch is one sick fuck.

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