Turtleboy Investigates

Turtleboy Is Taking A Stand Against Dunkin Donuts Drive Throughs

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In October Turtleboy took a stand against shitty Dunkin Donuts iced coffees like this one:

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http://tbsports.wpengine.com/turtleboy-is-taking-a-stand-against-shitty-dunkin-donuts-coffee-like-this-one/

Turtleboy normally brews his own coffee in the Turtle lair, but sometimes when you’re in a rush you don’t mind treating yourself. At least that is what you are SUPPOSED to be doing. You could tell just by looking at this particular coffee that it would taste like cat piss. And it did.

We figured that everyone could agree that Dunkins needs to do better than this. At least shake the thing up for crying out loud. But we were wrong, and a “Vine famous” butthurt from South Carolina named Tobie Stevens used this as an example of our white privilege.

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God that woman is the worst. Probably why she’s ranked 56th on the Turtleboy’s 2015 Naughty List Christmas Special, now on sale.

Anyway, here’s another pet peeve that we briefly addressed previously – trying to communicate with the Dunkin Donuts employee through the speaker. It’s the worst. Guaranteed every time Turtleboy pulls up to this thing all he hears is yippin and yappin in a tongue that Turtleboy is not at all familiar with. They know you’re there, but they just keep talking anyway, and you have no idea what they’re saying.

I don’t care that they’re speaking another language. I just wanna know two things, 1) when it’s my turn to speak, and 2) why they can’t turn the microphone off while they’re talking to their coworkers and other customers. Because Turtleboy NEVER knows when it’s his turn to speak. Usually Turtleboy starts by saying, “Hello,” which is followed by, “just one second,” which is followed by three minutes of this:

Look, I know this is a first world problem, but it drives Turtleboy up a wall. And if Mrs. Turtleboy is there she thinks it’s the funniest shit in the world because she loves to watch Turtleboy fail. One day Turtleboy Jr. will laugh at his old man as well. This will go on for literally 2 or 3 minutes before you finally say, “Hello” again. This time they’ll greet you with, “sorry, what you like?” Keep in mind there is no one ahead of you in the drive through after they’re done talking to the person at the window. But 10 times out of 10 they will just keep on talking until you say, “Hello” the second time.

I realize that these people don’t make much money and under appreciated. I also know that these women (and sometimes men) are extremely nice and they probably all have hearts of gold. If they don’t give a shit, I can’t say I blame them. But I think most people from the Worcester area know which Dunkins this is because it’s infamously bad. Is it like this at other Dunkins? Is this common practice, or is Turtleboy just cursed? Serious answers only.

P.S. I realize that Turtleboy is anti-filming vertically, and we would NEVER normally pull such a savage move. But this particular video was all about the audio, and not so much the visual, so it’s OK in this case.

 

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Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

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22 Comment(s)
  • Dom
    December 11, 2015 at 11:26 am

    I moved to FL a few years back and I miss the Dunkin Donuts that is down the street from the Auburn Elks Lodge on Southbridge St. That location was always great in my experience (Hopefully it hasn’t changed). There are plenty of DDs in FL but they are beyond horrible. They are absolutely filthy and ran by franchise owners that do not care. You know that distinctive wave of baked goods and fresh coffee smell that hits you when you walk in the door or pull up to the window? Nonexistent down here. Instead you receive a wave of sour dairy products and other random smells that I can not explain. Also, the coffee itself does not taste like DD. One can only assume it is because they do not clean and descale the coffee makers.

    I understand your annoyance noted in the article. Some may criticize, as they feel it is unimportant (so glad they are better!) but the fact is, we all have our little idiosyncratic pet peeves. However, the next time you receive an unshaken iced coffee, try remember that i could be worse!!

    • DC
      December 11, 2015 at 12:23 pm

      I don’t really like Dunkin Donuts, their stuff is of so so quality and over priced. Yet they keep growing. I don’t get it. I like my coffee to taste like coffee, not like coffee flavored cream and sugar.
      For those of you too young to know, dd’s use to make their donuts at each location, they much better, the coffee was served in a porcelain mug, and you could sit at the counter.
      If you are in the Merrimack Valley area, try Heavenly Donuts. Everything they have is better and the employees are happy and friendly.

      • wtatnuckgangsta
        December 11, 2015 at 9:20 pm

        Is Greendale still like this? I moved away but I’d sit at the counter all the time with my mom, sisters and gram.

  • Squirtleboy
    December 10, 2015 at 1:43 am

    Kelly sq.

  • Reddog
    December 9, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Starting on rt 9 in Leicester and on towards spencer, all of the barista’s speak perfect English no matter what coffe shop you go to. In the winter I plow in the city and feel like I need to bring an interpreter with me just to get a coffee. It’s very annoying. If they can’t speak the language fluent enough for us to understand,don’t put them on the drive through. Have them make the sandwiches or something. Funny thing is I never have this problem at a bank drive throughs. Kfc/Taco Bell on park ave is absolutely worse than any coffee shop. We live in USA. If your going to have to talk with customers,learn the language of this country. The more you speak it,the easier you will be understood. Back in the day,immigrants assimilated,now they dont give a shit,most of the ones I see anyway.

  • MassInert
    December 9, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    Did you order your iced coffee stirred….not shaken? 🙂

  • President Matt
    President Matt
    December 9, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    I never have any troubles at the DD in Tatnuck Square. I drink a lot of coffee. And I drive all over. I seldom have any trouble getting a large light no sugar and two Boston cream donuts. Maybe it is because of my radio show announcer voice. Maybe it is because of my incandescent aura of authority. I also always say please and thank you. Who knows maybe they think I’m the quality control inspector. I hope you have better luck next time.

  • Purple Passion
    December 9, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    Here is the method I use to avoid this problem. I search Wikipedia for counties whose demographics show a caucasian-population greater than 97%. Then I choose such a county, itself surrounded by similarly constituted counties, and drive there. I utilize any coffee drive-through I wish, and receive a delicious cup of coffee served up by a fetching, girl-next-door sweetheart.

    • Skeptical
      December 10, 2015 at 10:20 am

      Are you implying that if a location is not predominantly Caucasian it will have below average service?

      Sounds like you are basing your view off of race. Lol. Typically unintelligent racist.

      And yes, I am white. But definitely not as stupid as you. I’ve gotten great service at many different coffee and donut shops from people of all races. Not sure how that factors in…

  • Megan D
    December 9, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    An average of $250 a week in tips when I worked there, going through college, plus minimum wage is hardly a small pay, compared to other food service workers.

    Secondly, Tatnuck is about a 30 second wait. Holden is the absolute worst nightmare! Always over five minutes!

    Seems every DD has this mystery language nightmare. I have yet to go to one that doesn’t have this problem in Central Massachusetts. Go to Western Mass and it does not happen as often.

  • juror seven
    December 9, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Really? Check the PSI in your over inflated ego. Park the car, get out and walk into the place. When it’s your turn, place your order and be specific. want something to go with it? look at the menu and or what’s on display, make a choice. If it’s incorrect, say something. No tip necessary. Have a problem, go some place else. It’s a cup of coffee and chances are you’ll spill it on yourself when you are looking at your phone.

  • Anb94dawg
    December 9, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Really TB, you got nothing better to do than whine about unshaken ice coffees?
    Kinda like complaining about ketchup being uneven on a burger from McDonald’s.
    These people get paid shit and don’t care.

    • Frank Burns
      December 9, 2015 at 8:03 pm

      Even if they were paid a million dollars they wouldn’t care. Its about a little thing called – oops, more hate speech here- WORK ETHIC and Pride. You can’t blame the $ paid.

      • Skeptical
        December 10, 2015 at 10:18 am

        First off, the customer is a human being too, so being nice and helpful to them should happen based purely on that. That ebing said, you are wrong about one thing.

        Being paid doghsit absolutely de-motivates someone. Being a person that is now being paid 4 times as much as I was and working a great job, I can definitely say my last job which was minimum wage, the upper management absolutely used you and didn’t give a flying rat’s ass about you regardless of how hard you worked.

        If you got paid a million dollars for something you would certainly care much more than if you got paid $8. Just human nature.

  • Skeptical
    December 9, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    Dunkins has gotten so bad I have switched to Honey Dew, and I am much more satisfied.

    But the whole waiting 3 minutes thing has never happened to me. Many mistaken orders, but never waiting.

  • Kenmar55
    December 9, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    I am from Rhode Island. The dunkin on Mendon rd in Cumberland at the shell station has the biggest collection of rude people on the face of the earth. I drive out of my way now because I was sick of dealing with it.

  • Wtf
    December 9, 2015 at 11:33 am

    Is this the west boylston st dunks?
    Otherwise known as the dunkin no donuts. Every time I go there it’s like Monty pythons cheese shop skit. They have NOTHING.

  • zoinks
    December 9, 2015 at 11:32 am

    O turtleboy u so racists!

    • Wednesday Aadams
      December 9, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      *racist

  • Karl
    December 9, 2015 at 11:24 am

    I won’t go to the Dunk in Tatnuck square any more. They won’t get your order right even inside and the drive through its worse because of crappy audio equipment and poor employee verbal English skills.

    • Baltizar
      December 9, 2015 at 7:59 pm

      They speak very goodly english. See the giant sign that says its YOUR fault for a f’d up order as you approach the drive thru? Then its YOUR FAULT.

  • Michelle
    December 9, 2015 at 11:20 am

    Chandler Street or Kelly Square…they both do that. It is annoying. I go out of my way and go to the one in Tatnuck Square. They do shake it up…lol

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