WTF

Turtleboy Officially Banned Felger From Worcester Today On Felger And Mazz Show

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By now everyone knows that Mike Felger is a blowhard yahoo whose sole purpose at 98.5 the Sports Hub is to say stupid things he doesn’t mean in order to provoke Massholes to yell at him. Naturally we decided to give him exactly what he wanted today and then some when we had one of our associates, Jay Turtleboy, call up the show and inform Felger that he is permanently banned from coming to Worcester. Here’s how it went down:

The reaction is exactly what we thought it would be. Felger fucking LOVED it. He lives to be the villain. It’s good for business. It’s why he destroys Dale Arnold and Michael Holley in the ratings.

But the fact of the matter is, Felger had ZERO response to the only question that mattered – if Brady is going to struggle with balls that are regulation PSI, then how come he sliced up the greatest defense since the 85 Bears in the Super Bowl with balls that were regulation PSI in the Super Bowl? The answer is of course, that it doesn’t really matter what the PSI of the balls are. At the end of the day Brady still has a golden arm and oozes machismo. He could throw bowling balls to Gronk and still win the Super Bowl.

And as for David Ortiz whining about playing first base, who gives a shit? Whining is what Papi does. Do you really care? He’s whined ever since he got to Boston and all he does in the meantime is hit the most clutch postseason home runs of all time. Three rings. End of story. He can whine until the cows come home. This is just Felger creating a faux outrage because it’s what he does.

Oh yea, and Jimmy Stewart, the producer who said that Worcester is a “dump,” is so full of shit. Because if you call Worcester a dump, you kind of have a point. But for whatever reason they started going off on what a dump Westboro was. Ya got that? Westboro!! Westboro is on my short list of towns I’d like to live in but where I’m probably blacklisted from. It’s way too nice for Turtleboy:

Our official proclamation that Felger is banned from Worcester apparently provoked a pro-Felger Worcesterite named “Matt from Worcester” to call up the program and attempt to make amends by inviting Felger to a Worcster barbecue:

Hey Matt, you’re a traitor and nobody likes you. You’re only inviting Felger to your barbecue because no one else will come. Plus, Felger’s right. We’ll have people at checkpoints at all of the exits on 495, making sure his yuppie, Wellesley ass stays in Eastern MA where he belongs.

And just to show you how much Felger gets off on when you shit on him, we made the “Final Word” and he loved every minute of it:

And just for fun, here’s a quick little Vine of Felger and Mazz taking dumps on the Woo:

Jokes on them. When’s the last time a President of the United States came to Wellesley for a high school graduation? Oh yea, never. Banned.

Screen Shot 2015-07-09 at 9.19.09 PM

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9 Comment(s)
  • GoneWest
    July 10, 2015 at 8:21 am

    You know what Matt? You’re banned too.

  • BobnMic
    July 9, 2015 at 10:31 pm

    TB – I don’t where to begin how to respond with how funny and cool this one was but I will try. Well, I waited until you called in and then everything at my house stopped. Like, “Stop the Presses.” Stopped vacuuming the pool, stopped talking to my neighbor buddy over the fence and then Bam – It was hilarious. I could see Felger and Mazz’s faces through a cellar window on a basement TV and the two were cracking up!

    I thought fat bastard Jimmy Steward was a pussy resorting to name calling toward the second largest city in New England. At least Felger and Mazz took it like men although they hung up on you which is what pussies do. I mean I still think they suck but Steward sucks ten times more.

    • The Philistine
      July 9, 2015 at 10:35 pm

      Stewart is getting ready for his big party with friends for Summerslam. I loved WWE, 20 years ago.

      • BobnMic
        July 9, 2015 at 10:54 pm

        Yes Stewart I stand corrected. He should be banned as well because at least the two fairies did not insult us.

  • None of Your Business
    July 9, 2015 at 9:41 pm

    Nobody gives a flying fuck about Worcester. It’s a dump. And you’re a joke. You think Jeff Berkowitz taking the Gronk challange was news? Learn what real journalists do. Produce real things, not click bait. You SUCK

    • The Philistine
      July 9, 2015 at 10:33 pm

      Felger gets rating and the blog gets clicks. Thank you for yours. Can’t just ignore it, huh?

  • Common Sense Isn't So Common
    July 9, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    I banned that show from my radio a long time ago!!! Felgar is a “Rubba” plain and simple.

  • Carlo the PB&J's top blogger
    July 9, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    Love my new banana hammock Joyce got for me. Old Balls my geriatric ass.

  • RJ
    July 9, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    Let me officially say they’re both banned from westborough, too.

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