Turtleboy Investigates

Turtleboy Worcester County Pizza Tour – Anzio’s Pizza Grafton

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So our pizza challenge was too much of a challenge to put together. Last week we posted on Facebook about our frustration with calling every pizza shop we could in Worcester and trying to put it together. If someone was taping our conversations with some of these dudes it would’ve been hilarious must see TV. Basically every place we called had an angry Greek dude answer the phone who was none too pleased to be speaking with Turtleboy. We tried explaining to them that we were doing a contest for a blog, but we were basically speaking Chinese at that point. “Pick up or delivery” are apparently the only two acceptable things you can say when calling a pizza place in Worcester. Anything else just doesn’t make any sense.

Anyway our post on Facebook caused some people to lose their shit because we said that every guy who answered the phone was a 60 year old Greek guy who didn’t know what the Internet was. The way we saw it this was a chance to promote local businesses free of charge. I’ve never been to half the pizza places in this city and I’m sure most other people are the same. But if I saw your pizza in a blog and it looked good, I’d probably give it a shot sometime. Maybe I’d become a regular customer and you make hundreds of dollars off of me a year. For free. I’m sure others would do the same. So yea, we were trying to bring you free business, but apparently our wisecrack about old grumpy Greek dudes set some people off:

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My apologies. I will never offer to eat your pizza and promote it ever again.

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Oh good, an implied death threat over a wisecrack about angry Greek dudes. Seems about right.

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You’re right I am not a professional. I’m just a guy that wants to eat your pizza and tell the world about it.

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I apologize for trying to bring you new customers who would give you money for your pizza. You’re right, they don’t need Turtleboy. Obviously they are already millionaires who have no use for additional customers.

Eastern Europeans yelling at you is funny.

Seriously though, what’s it like to go through life without a sense of humor? That must suck. Anyone who doesn’t think the concept of an old Greek dude yelling at Turtleboy on the phone as he tries to explain what a blog is, is probably really fun to hang out with at parties. I don’t give a shit who you are, grumpy old guys who don’t know how the Internet works will always be funny.

Anyway, what we’ve decided to do instead is give each individual pizza place their own blog. Just contact us and we’ll go to your place and have our panel of three judges – Turtleboy, Mrs. Turtleboy, and Turtleboy Jr. – give it a taste test. We’ve all got very different taste in pizza, so no matter what someone’s gonna like your pie.

Today we were contacted by the good folks at Anzio’s Pizza in Grafton. People have been raving about that place so we had to check it out. The thing about Grafton is, it’s kind of a pain in the ass to get there. But I gotta say, it’s worth the trip.

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It’s a restaurant and bar too, which is good because Pizza tastes a lot better when you’re washing it down with Monsta IPA

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As for the pizza, they got the whole New York style going on:

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Now THIS is my kind of pizza. I don’t need the thick crust and everything. I want a big ass slice covered in mozzarella:

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Uggghhhhh. So hot. I had a great time shoving that down my gullet.

Here’s the major things you need to consider when rating a pizza:

1. Cheese

2. Crust

3. Greasiness

4. Sauce

In my opinion the strength of the Anzio’s cheese pizza is the cheese. It’s freaking delicious. The fact that there’s very little crust is a plus too. Crust is pointless. As far as greasiness goes, their pizza was pretty standard. It’s hard not to have a pizza with any grease, and it makes the pizza taste better. But at least Anzio’s pizza didn’t fall apart when I ate it. Nothing is worse then when you pull a slice out of the box and drag half the remaining cheese from the box with it. Overall I give this pizza an A- and I’d definitely get it again.

Mrs. Turtleboy is a weirdo when it comes to pizza. She LOVES the crust. Psychopath, I know. This is what I live with. So that was her number one beef – where’s the crust? Other than that she agreed with me that it’s hard to find a big ass slice like this with that sort of flavor. She’s a tough grader so she gave it a B.

Turtleboy Jr. gives zero fucks about anything. He’ll generally eat anything you put in front of him that isn’t a vegetable. He gave it an A+. We might have to reconsider having him on the panel.

Anyway, up next is Kelley Square Pizza. If you’d like to join the Turtleboy Worcester Country Pizza Tour send us an email at turtleboysports@gmail.com or send us a message on Facebook.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 600,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Check out our stuff on GoLocalWorcester

18 Comment(s)
  • AbbyChinning
    March 31, 2015 at 11:46 am

    It’s amazing how much you’ve based your entire blog on BarstoolSports. Your content and terminology is so identical to Barstool it’s pathetic. “Zero fucks given”

  • Finnish Goalie
    March 31, 2015 at 8:14 am

    No one mentions the Wonder Bar?

  • Yes
    March 27, 2015 at 11:33 am

    Lol @ New Englanders, let alone trash Worcesterians, thinking they know the first thing about good pizza.

  • Finnish Goalie
    March 27, 2015 at 9:31 am

    Ernie’s Pizza got us through many a college night.

    Greasy and tons of cheese. Great at 1 a.m.

    • BobnMic
      March 27, 2015 at 12:15 pm

      Boynton Pizza on Highland St., Steve’s Pizza in W. Boylston, Blue Jeans on Park Ave., all good. Something a little different try Volturno on Shrewsbury St. They make there brick oven pizzas in these large ovens that were shipped in from Italy. They also have a great beer and wine selection. It’s where the Kelly Buick dealership used to be. It’s a big place. We love it.

      • BobnMic
        March 27, 2015 at 12:32 pm

        “Their pizza” I meant.

      • RJ
        March 27, 2015 at 1:14 pm

        Yeah, Volturno is really good. Highly recommend the pork belly appetizer.

  • JH
    March 27, 2015 at 9:07 am

    Oli’s in West Boylston…..best Pizza hands down

  • Jafreese
    March 27, 2015 at 7:47 am

    Not saying it’s best ever or anything, but B is a bit harsh. Lots of other great food at this place too.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    March 27, 2015 at 7:04 am

    Where do hippies go for pizza? Just asking so I can avoid those places.

    Agreed on Anzios, great pizza.

    • Leo
      March 27, 2015 at 2:01 pm

      Hippies don’t eat pizza, they consider it to be “cultural appropriation” against Italians.

  • RJ
    March 27, 2015 at 6:11 am

    Anzios is good, but it’s a haul to get there. I know they’re relatively new, but the conversation for best pizza in worcester begins and ends with Paesano’s on grafton st.

    • GoneWestButNotSoft
      March 27, 2015 at 9:12 am

      That’s the truth

  • blippo
    March 27, 2015 at 5:58 am

    How about pizza from Ladd’s in Rutland? So good. Esp when they have the meatball special!!

  • RSoxGuy
    March 26, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    P&D Pizza Oxford MA. Hit that place up. Not a large seating area but great pizza. You wont be sorry.

    • PatsGuy
      March 27, 2015 at 8:32 am

      I see your P&D and raise you a Pizza Post in Oxford.

  • March 26, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    Woosta pizza, Ciao bella and corner grille are the only pizza places worth mentioning in worcester. elsas was good to but gone

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    March 26, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    There can be too much grease. You shouldn’t feel like you need a shower after you eat.

    Also, someone needs to tell these people that Greek isn’t a race. It’s a nationality.

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