Weymouth, Boston Rapper/Hardos Sent Us The Best Death Threats Ever This Week!!!
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We get so much fan mail at Turtleboy that we like to share our favorite ones with you. Especially when we get “death threats.” Because there’s no such thing as a death threat on the Internet. It’s just words on the Internet from wannabe hardos. We only bring this up because so many SJW’s on social media have whined about “death threats” they’ve received in order to make themselves victims. Victims of what? Internet trolls writing mean, empty promises that never end up happening? You poor thing. We get them literally every single day, and we haven’t even fully reached our potential yet. Can’t wait to see the kinds of “threats” we get in the future. Here’s today’s batch…..
The first comes from this winner:
His name is EJ Burns. He appears to be from Boston. We’re not sure what loser he is here to defend the honor of, but I’m sure they’re a great person who didn’t deserve to be publicly shamed and humiliated.
So scared!!! Does this look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t meet you at your house to avenge some cheesehog’s good name?
That guy does NOT smile for pictures, and thus we can assume he does NOT fuck around.
Then there’s this winner….
His name is Derek Winslow. Guess what he wants to be when he grows up?
Up and Coming rapper!!! Never saw that one coming!! Someone’s gotta teach this kid how hashtags work though. Hey genius, if you leave spaces between words, then only the first word comes up on the hashtag. You literally just wrote #Been instead of #BeenOnMyGrind. Not sure who you’re looking to interact with if they’re searching for #Been, but it’s probably not who you were hoping for.
But then again, he’s “street certified” so he probably knows a lot more about how this works than I do.
Anyway, here’s what he had to say….
Uh-oh!! Shot’s fired. You’re never too old for yo Momma jokes if you’re still holding onto the dream of being a rapper! Everyone hide your Mom’s, because the milf slayer is coming to town!!!
Then there’s this…
Poor desk girl.
Hide yo wife, hide yo mom, because Derek Winslow the Weymouth rapper and his magical Jurassic pork is fucking EVERYTHING that walks in the 508!!
Oh snap!!! The neckbeard killah ain’t playing around!! His first imaginary Internet homicide will definitely help his street cred. At least he’ll be able to sell a few more tickets to his next concert in Wareham….
Then he turned himself into the victim….
Wait a minute. A couple seconds ago you were Mr. “I’m sticking my Weymouth thunderrod in everything Turtleboy loves, if I choose not to kill them first.” Now he’s Mr. “you’re mean to my ratchet friends and you’re making them sad and if they hypothetically kill themselves it will be all your fault.”
Come on bro. Either you’re a hardo or you’re a victim. Pick one. Like E. J. Burns did. You can’t be both.
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