Sports

Which Houston Rockets Fan Is Worse – Toweldoosh Or Soccer Mom?

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I was watching the Houston Rockets stay alive against the Golden State Warriors last night, when the camera scanned the crowd and I saw the two worst type of people you don’t want to sit next to when you go to a sporting event:

Toweldoosh and Soccer Mom. Hard to tell which is worse. Let’s compare.

On the one hand you’ve got Toweldoosh. He doesn’t really give a shit about sports, never mind the Rockets, and is only at that game for one reason and one reason alone – to wave that towel and annoy everyone else around him. Nothing says small market franchise like complimentary towels and matching t-shirts. Ask him who Clyde Drexler or Hakeem Olajuwon are and he’ll tell you they’re the guys who work at the What-a-Burger down the street.

You know how you can tell that he doesn’t really follow this team? He’s excited because his team is winning a game that’s about to put them down three games to one. This game was nothing but a formality which utlimately just delayed the inevitable Warriors advancement to the NBA Finals.

Then we’ve got Soccer Mom. I’ve sat behind many a Soccer Mom before at sporting events. Their goal is to make the experience family friendly and comfortable. In other words, they seek to neutralize the home court advantage for the home team. This is your Houston version of the pink hat. The person who showed up to the game solely to sing Sweet Caroline.

When you yell at Klay Thompson and tell him that you are going to violate his mother, she’s the one who turns around to you and whines about her children hearing your vulgarity. As if children have any place at a playoff basketball game.

So it’s a tough one, but I have to say that Toweldoosh ultimately is worse than Soccer Mom. In the end she’s more invested in the team and doesn’t dance the entire game in a failed attempt to get on the jumbotron. Who ya got?

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8 Comment(s)
  • Finnish Goalie
    May 27, 2015 at 9:26 am

    “Nothing says small market franchise like complimentary towels and matching t-shirts.”

    The concept of a towels in the crowd originated in Pittsburgh, no?

  • kjt
    May 26, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    Parents who lived through their kids any sport is bad. Cheerleader moms are a breed of their own…..

  • Woodiculous
    May 26, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Soccer mom, because you punch towel boy when his towel hits you

  • Johnny Jizz
    May 26, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    No way this guy’s worse than that drunk asshole who harassed that girl at a Buffalo/Patriots game last fall!

    • Troll Inspector General
      May 26, 2015 at 5:24 pm

      Pick up that troll game, son! This is weak, weak, weak…

      I have literally never laughed at a single comment you have made… and that’s just sad.

      • TurtleBoySpurts
        May 27, 2015 at 8:43 am

        Hahaha… Nice try, Inspector, but it ain’t trolling if it’s the truth. “He who shall not be named” was far more of a douche bag at the Buffalo/Patriots game than the guy he’s making fun of here. The bully is not surprisingly a mean drunk.

        • Pure Truth
          May 27, 2015 at 1:17 pm

          Lol I made you laugh with my second post here.

          We need some pro level trolling around here.. Regurgitating this stuff is just plain boring…

          • TurtleBoySpurts
            May 27, 2015 at 5:05 pm

            Second post? Hard to tell, if you keep changing names, dude.

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