This is really my favorite time of year. The weather is still nice, the minis are headed back to school (as Bristol pointed out in this fantastic blog earlier today), and the political battles are heating up. Of course, with no Presidential or Senatorial elections this year, the news has to resort to boring us to death with local politics instead. But once in a while, they get a lot less boring, because let’s be real, we’ve all seen “Parks and Rec”, right? People who decide to go into town politics are certifiably fucking insane 7/10.
As I was scrolling through my Facebook this morning, this article from The Sun Chronicle caught my eye:
“Attleboro councilor says mayoral candidate has complained to police about his social media ‘satire'”
Je. Sus. Christ. Here we go!
“ATTLEBORO — Jonathan Weydt claims all he does is provide political satire on social media, but a candidate for mayor says his comments are demeaning and harassing.
Weydt, a former city councilor, is a frequent critic of Attleboro politics on Facebook and he often post bitingly sarcastic videos and doctored photos.
Lately, City Councilor Heather Porreca, a candidate for mayor, has been a frequent target.”
Porreca is a former bus driver and 3 term City Councilor who is running to unseat first term mayor Paul Heroux. She also is apparently so dreadfully tight-assed that not only do shitty memes constitute a call to the cops in her world….. even her dog looks reluctant to pose for photo ops next to this humorless shrew.
Weydt is a former 2 term City Councilor and a strong supporter of Heroux. He also dresses like your perpetually single effeminate uncle who enjoys brunch with his “roommate”, Ron.
“Porreca said she has not “officially” filed a complaint, but has had conversations with police.
She said she understands when political criticism is constructive, but Weydt’s commentary is personal and insulting.
“I’m still a human being,” she said.”
Yes, you are still a human being. Thanks for pointing that out. However, you are also a public figure and as such you are open to criticism and commentary. You are also in a position of power and influence as a City Councilor. Speaking to the police about this, on or off the record, is an inappropriate use of your position. The City Council makes decisions on the city budget and other matters that directly affect the police department, so they have a vested interest in keeping you happy, regardless of how frivolous your complaint is. Believe it or not, Heather, the police do have more important things to do with their time than respond to a reported assault on your feelz.
“Weydt said when he heard she had filed a complaint, he wrote to the police asking for a copy. Weydt said Porreca has gone to police a number of times with complaints.
But he got a letter back from police saying the department could not provide the document because the matter is under investigation.”
“I must inform you that your records request is hereby denied… Currently, there are ongoing investigative efforts by the Attleboro Police Department and the Bristol County District Attorney’s Office which prevent me from releasing this information to you.”
“Porreca has gone to police a number of times with complaints”? No way. Does this look like the face of a woman so self-important and thin skinned she regularly bothers the police with frivolous bullshit to you?
I bet she’s a real minx in the sheets, too. Lights off, night shirts on. Every time.
And did I read that correctly, or am I simply intoxicated by Heather’s free-spirited allure here? “Under investigation?” For memes? What kind of douche do you have to be to make memes that end up under investigation, Jon? Apparently this level douche:
“Attleboro city councilor to be summonsed to court on assault charges.
In his third brush with the law this year, City Councilor Jonathan Weydt will be summonsed to court for allegedly hurling a newspaper at a store clerk last Sunday after becoming angry when she refused to sell him cigarettes.”
Do NOT get in between this man and his Winstons, or shit will get real.
He’s a real Macgyver when it comes to impromptu assault on teenage store clerks. No billy club? No problem. Those Sunday editions can pack some real heat when chucked at a minimum wage employee who wants to see your ID.
A real loose cannon we got here. Don’t let the stupid grin fool you.
Oh, man. Those memes must be really offensive and explicitly threatening memes!
If I had one piece of criticism for Weydt, it would be that memes are supposed to be funny. Not whatever the fuck this is.
“The comments don’t bother her, she said, and she has blocked Weydt on all social media.”
Sure, lots of people call the police over things that don’t bother them. That makes sense. You’re a real survivor.
Unhinged douche or not, this is an affront to free speech. Those memes are fucking horrible, unfunny joke assassinations that clearly make little to no sense to anyone but Jon the Clerk destroyer and Humorless Heather. Those also happen to be the only two people that care the memes even exist, coincidentally. But, dammit, if this nicotine-craving, disproportionately angry, questionably dressed bootleg Mr. Bean wants to make them, and post them, he fucking CAN.
We live in America, not Communist China. His terrible, boring memes aren’t a crime – they are Constitutionally protected. You don’t have to like this man’s so-called “political satire.” In fact, I’d venture to say no one does. It’s not satire and frankly I’m not convinced it’s even political. But as an American citizen, it is his inalienable right to confuse and bore onlookers with it. Stop trying to block that out, Heather. This is the most attention you’re going to get all year. Just enjoy it and kindly don’t call the police again. They have actual crimes to solve and shit.
I’m so glad people like this want to run for public office. The priorities here are just spot-on. Anyway, you’re in our thoughts and prayers, Heather. I hope you recover soon from this heinous attack, and that justice is served swiftly and decisively.