Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship.
As usual there were a bunch of attention seeking queef whistlers on Facebook claiming their kids had needles in their Halloween candy this year. But this Woonsocket RIPTA Rascal who goes by TJ Frankie on Facebook kicked it up a notch by going full hardo Dad and threatening to kick the shit out of the imaginary villain who put a needle in his kid’s Now and Later.
“You’re lucky I don’t know who you are because I’d break your face.”
Threatening to break someone’s face who you know doesn’t exist is taking hardo to new levels it’s never been fore.
“Kids if you’re watching this, check your candy, cuz some losers out here sitting here putting needles, and who knows what could be on it, who knows if they AIDS or anything.”
It’s a sewing needle. Sewing needles don’t get AIDS. You’re thinking hypodermic needles, which I definitely see more of in your future.
This is what we’re dealing with here.
According to Mom two of the Now and Laters were tampered with. One had a needle in it, but the other one just had holes but no needles because the criminal master minds couldn’t figure out how to get the needle inside of the candy. She wasn’t taking any chance though, because someone “could of injected somethjng in it.”
So true. They easily could’ve injected LSD into the candy. Or AIDS. One of those two.
Meanwhile hardo dad just wants to let the world know that although he threw out all his kid’s candy, he did replace it with new candy.
After all, the day after Halloween is the first of the month, so plenty of cash on hand.
They’re not even trying any more.
Now and Laters are not Starburst. They’re hard as a rock and a needle could not penetrate them. I feel like I’m wasting my time explaining the science behind why this is obviously a hoax, because everyone with a brain who saw it knows it’s a hoax. TJ Frankie and his slambox baby Momma are sticking to their story though, and they have other hoaxes to prove it!
I have no idea what that story is about, but I’m sure it’s fake too. Because never in the history of trick or treating has anyone ever put anything into your kid’s candy. Ever. Everyone who has ever said they found something in their kid’s candy has been making it up for attention.
Nevertheless people were citing the Marshfield needle incident, which was proven to be a hoax.
Someone else brought up the Sturbridge incident too.
Even though at the time this mental midget Zachary Pollack posted this he easily could’ve gone to the Sturbridge PD Facebook page and seen that that incident was also a hoax.
Nevertheless, the RIPTA Rascal just wants to let the world know that he is in fact a hardo, and he will not rest until he finds out who did this (him).
According to him he was quite the bad ass before his daughter was born, and up until this moment he has hidden his gangsta side in the closet. But those days are over now.
Whoever messes with his kid’s candy is getting mobbed to death son!
Dude’s an American hero, protecting children everywhere from imaginary people in Rhode Island trying to get them to eat needles.
“She is crying, she don’t understand.”
Translation – I made her cry by putting a needle in her candy so I could get Facebook likes.
As fate would have it the RIPTA Rascal says he went from house to house knocking on doors and demanding to know who did it. He had a bad feeling about one guy, and those suspicions were confirmed when the man wouldn’t answer the door. Don’t worry though, he’ll be back tomorrow.
Not like he has to work. Plus, his bike has pegs so he’ll probably be bringing backup with him.
Not that he needs it.
Like I said, no person with a brain actually believes this happened, but when you’re from Woonsocket the morons line up to eat it up. And TJ Frankie is getting the whole GED short bus crew together to kick some ass!!
Oh snap, Rich Hadley is gonna go knocking on doors in Cumberland pointing guns at people until he finds out who put that needle in the Now and Later!! Does this look like a dude who fucks around?
The “look at my fish” picture is the rural equivalent of the flat brimmed Bulls hat.
Meanwhile, Amanda Marie Moore “ain’t no little bitch” and wants to put a “squad” together to knock on 30 stranger’s doors and demand to know if they were the ones who put the needle in the Now and Later. Good thing she’s reproduced several times, because she certainly seems stable.
Next year they have a plan in case this happens again.
Seems reasonable. Label each piece of candy with a marker (because writing on plastic wrappers with markers won’t be problematic), then record that number on your phone so you know exactly what house it came from when you want to round up the vigilante goon squad.
Anyway, TJ was kind of hoping this story would be picked up by the media.
Unfortunately for him the only news that picked it up was the real news known as Turtleboy Sports, and it didn’t work out the way he hoped it would.