WTF

Woonsocket Slumlord Blames Mother Of 2 For Cyberstalking Her After Complaining About Ratchet Conditions At Motel Mogadishu Apartment

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A turtle rider from Woonsocket reached out to us recently about a situation involving a friend and a slumlord:

Check out these pictures:

It’s like Air B&B Mogadishu chapter.

Surely there had to be more to the story. The landlord, Ilanna Ball Coulbourn, is a well respected member of society who has a serious lack of Google trophies.

She has the respect of law enforcement:

She’s also a successful business owner:

But according to her there was nothing wrong with those pictures:

Yea, if you consider this an “in tact ceiling”

You might be a slumlord. Just sayin.

According to Ilanna it was the tenant’s choice to move into this shithole:

But since we’re fair and balanced we wanted to get both sides of the story. So we reached out to Ilanna on the Facebook machine….

The second you mention “cyberstalking and harassment” I automatically assume you’re a ratchet. I know this because we’re often accused of this same crime when we look at people’s public Facebook pages and using their own words against them. I also have my doubts that the woman who wanted to move into this apartment on March 1 “assaulted” her maintenance worker, nor does it excuse the apartment looking like this.

The fact of the matter is that she was set to move in on March 1. The apartment should’ve been ready for March 1. She was prepared to let this woman move into an apartment she owns despite 43 violations. Not much else to say.

Ilanna then sent us pictures of the since cleaned up apartment:

Cool. So…..why wasn’t this done for March 1? Why did it take a public shaming in order to get a landlord to do her job? I don’t give a shit if she was “harassing and cyberstalking” you by messaging you for an explanation as to why the tenant was moving into Hotel Slumifornia. She should be messaging you if the apartment looks like that. She has two kids and there are dangers in pretty much every corner of the apartment. It’s bad enough they have to live in Woonsocket. At least they should be able to come home to a clean apartment.

City Councilor Richard Fagnant (yes, Dick Fagnant is his real name), who is so Rhode Island it hurts, ripped into the landlord at the City Council meeting last night:

Boom. Roasted.

Lorena also posted testimonials from other people who have dealt with Ilanna Ball Coulbourn:

Is all of this true? I dunno. All I know is if you agree to move into an apartment on March 1, it should be move in ready on March 1. And clearly Ilanna Ball Coulbourn thought this was move in ready:

None of her excuses matter. It’s your job to clean your property so that people can live there. I don’t care about any bullshit about maintenance workers being attacked by tenants. On February 28 the place should’ve been spotless and the landlord herself should’ve handed her the key. Nothing else matters. End of story. Do your job.

45 Comment(s)
  • Tag
    March 8, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    1. It doesn’t matter what your opinions are: RI LAW REQUIRES A WARRANTY OF HABITABILITY SO ALL APARTMENTS NEED TO BE HABITABLE; there were 43 violations found by an inspector. She is legally in the right for wanting a place that doesn’t risk her child being electrocuted.
    2. You all are missing the fact she knew and trusted this landlord. That is her brother’s foster mother, and obviously she’s going to believe her when she says she’ll fix everything for the first AFTER being paid.
    3. Under contract law, the tenant relied upon the promise that the apartment would be improved. Additionally, it induced her to sign the contract. Promissory estoppel (if the health violations weren’t enough even though they are) would make the landlord have to perform repairs.

    Turtle Boy Sports was 100% correct choosing to write this article! Coming from a law student who thinks the people criticizing the tenant are ridiculously stupid.

    • Betty
      March 8, 2018 at 10:06 pm

      She violated that moving in early. As she moved in before the 1st, that changes the agreement. The landlord was fixing it…for the 1st not the 27th. She was supposed to go in that day with a crew. Have fixed many issues and would fix more if allowed in. 2 full days can fix non cosmetic issues. The rest…get some cleaner and clean.
      So now, the recourse is civil. Tenant must sue Ilanna. Its hysterical to see protests at city hall and petitions. There is a reason channel 10 and 12 are not reporting. That the police washed their hands.
      Its up to a judge now. She can sue for her $700(Ilanna offered to give security back)
      But they ARE family. And instead of giving them the 3 days to fix apt…they went on a FB whinefest. Instead of asking for a face to face, discussing what’s not fixed,…they blew up a phone with texts and harrassed causing Ilanna to feel defensive.
      When someone helps you out, you should try to resolve. It already looks tons better.
      So sue her already. Its in a judge’s hand. Now? Tenant has to waste more money on a lawyer. Ilanna has a lawyer who has already dealt with lots of this and city council, mayor etc. The stress, money, etc could have been avoided with allowing apt fixed on 27th, 28th. This is why you don’t rent to family!

      • Brittanylovesyou224@gmail.com
        March 11, 2018 at 1:32 pm

        @betty she did not move in until the first she has multiple witnesses of when she moved in because they helped her including her family she was not in the apartment on the 27th or 28th

        • Betty
          March 11, 2018 at 2:07 pm

          I got the date from the tenants post!!! So Then she lied twice on FB. In 2 separate occasions she discussed moving in early but that it was not cause she was homeless. She disputed the living in her car thing. 2 different comments so it’s not like just a typo. Then another comment saying it should not matter if it was 27th because landlady had a month to fix and 2 days should not matter.
          The tenant herself did this in 2 groups on FB. Then she has some other girl fighting her battles who discussed 2 days should not make a difference.
          Now your post here is a different line. Changing stories makes it look shady. You should all get your stories straight. Oh yeah, and delete FB comments that contradict this!

    • Toni Lebel
      Toni
      March 16, 2018 at 12:15 pm

      She is a scum lord, plain and simple. She has such a terrible reputation, it’s astounding. However, folks in positions ignore it, since she donates a bit of time and money. This is common knowledge through the ranks!

  • Brittanylovesyou224@gmail.com
    March 8, 2018 at 7:00 am

    Where are the updated pictures of the ceiling and why wasn’t this apartment fixed for the first

  • Diane Woods emerson
    Wtf
    March 7, 2018 at 9:10 am

    Take both sides of the story out of it. When was the money paid? If it was anything more than a day or two before the first all that dangerous shit should have been fixed. It doesn’t matter about favors or what the tenant wanted. It is the landlord, manager or maintenance person who HAS to fix the dangerous shit. As a normal (used loosely) human I would expect the danger and fire hazards to be repaired. And all the people who think 43 violations is acceptable should go either move into that acceptable apartment or shit invite her to your house.
    In don’t know if RI has section 8 like Massachussetts but those apartments are inspected fairly often and tenants complaints are investigated and I have had sect8 inspectors tell tenants they have to fix some shit they broke , no the landlord. IE : screens they wrecked or mold the just didn’t clean in the bathtub.
    THose were my only tenant complaints ever.
    I hope they set some new regs, I think dick was posed at that meeting.

  • I See Dumb People
    If people thonk this only happend on rhode island they are sadly mistaken
    March 7, 2018 at 6:49 am

    HA you think thats bad you should see some of the apartments in the Worcester Marlboro areas. I know because Im a renter and let me tell you the rents are NOT affordable by any means. You have 2 choices as a renter find a shit hole and almost be able to afford the rent or find a move in ready and not. Able to afford to feed your kids . Those are your choices and tgats all you get. It is more affordable to buy a place ypu would be paying hubdreds less for a mortgage however not everyone is in a position to buy so those who are not are screwed and stuck with option 1 slumlords or options 2 starving so they can pay rent .

    • Hollywizzle
      March 7, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      Why would people think this ONLY happened in Rhode Island? Something can’t be a shit show just because there are bigger shit shows? Fucking gatekeeping, man.

  • Well, No Shit
    March 7, 2018 at 6:46 am

    There’s not enough money in the world that would tempt me into becoming a landlord; especially in The Democratic Peoples’ Republic of Massachusetts. 

    Landlords are all but forced to rent to subhuman pieces of shit, and have almost zero ability to boot their asses out once they stop paying rent. If the mongrels have fuck trophies, landlords are even more screwed. Fuck that noise. No thanks. 

  • BucketNutz
    BucketNutz
    March 7, 2018 at 6:16 am

    Another thing she could do is call the Gas Company. They’ll be there within the hour (for a leak….mandated to go) & will ‘Red Tag’ the entire building (IE shut off & lock the gas, meaning no HW/heat to the entire building, not just that unit). The LL will have no choice; the Gas Company will NOT turn gas back on until it’s been repaired & inspected.

    BTW….love the blog, a must read every day. Please create an app for Android!

  • Lucky
    March 7, 2018 at 12:11 am

    I’m just wondering where all the receipts are to prove the tenant has done any of what you all are saying

    • Betty
      March 7, 2018 at 12:22 am

      Receipts for what? That the tenant paid their rent?

  • Art Deco
    March 6, 2018 at 11:13 pm

    Welcome to Woonsocket…$700 doesn’t go very far in the rental market, especially in the flaming bunghole that is half of Rhode Island. Don’t you just love the White Trash slumlord throwing around “harassment” warnings like candy? That term is the White Trash ten commandments…bet she refers to “my attorney” twice a day like she has F. Lee Bailey on retainer!

  • gfldgadfly
    March 6, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    I liana wouldn’t know which end of a hammer to hold if she found one stuck in between her tube socks. No business being a residential landlord, it’s real work, and having a couple maintenance guys on payroll is no use if you don’t send them to look after your assets. You know, the ones larger than a b cup. Sell it off, princess, and focus your energy on finding a rich old dude with a thing for gravity.
    I wonder who she had to schmooze to get any underwriter to take on the building policy. And I also wonder when an adjuster was in there last to do an inspection. That unit would make the whole building uninsurable.

  • ElJefe72
    March 6, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    I’ve been a code enforcement officer in a very large, Midwest city for over 7 years, many of it in Ratchetville. This stuff is par for the course. It’s very rare that either side is 100% innocent.

    Tenant moves in; issues in the house to begin with and landlord won’t fix; after several months of no payment, landlord evicts tenant; because tenant’s angry, tenant destroys the house on the way out; landlord does very little to fix the issues; new tenant moves in; issues not resolved; landlord evicts tenant; tenant destroys the house on the way out; round and round it goes. It’s the circle of life in Ratchetville.

    I will say that if you’re a tenant looking to move into an apartment or house, inspect the interior before you make a deposit or move in!!! If you don’t like it, make the landlord fix it before giving him your (i.e., taxpayer’s) money. If he/she won’t, don’t move in and especially don’t give them a deposit. Also, don’t fall for the promise that they’ll fix it after you moved in (usually with a discount on the rent). In my experience, they never fix anything 99.99% of the time.

    • ElJefe72
      March 6, 2018 at 7:21 pm

      I will also add that the reason tenants often move into apartments or houses in this kind of condition is that they made bad or stupid decisions that led to them being evicted from their previous place, and they’re in a crunch to find a place to live. Additionally, they typically have bad credit or a criminal history that makes it difficult to move into nicer places.

      Most people that have time to look for a new place to live would never select a place like this one.

  • Loop
    March 6, 2018 at 5:18 pm

    Ilanna. Would. and then come back for seconds.

  • TJB
    TJB
    March 6, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    If it was that bad, you should have kept looking. Good luck getting an apartment ever again. I’m sure everyone calls the police and inspection services on day one. Your lucky they let you stay, guarantee that your lease is never renewed.

  • Local real local
    Local real local
    March 6, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    Mother of God, the tenant is a cry baby. Everyone in Rhode Island wants the tenancy rules to be like Massachusetts. It will never be that way. Massachusetts is the most fucked up LT state in the country. NY is so much better and that is a shame.

    Bottom line: the crazy tenant knew the conditions of the apartment before she moved in. It is a ghetto apartment, what do you want, a fucking mansion for $600 per month? Hey dirtbag tenant, with all your free time, break out the pine Sol and start washing and then get permission to paint the unit and ask nicely if you can take it off the monthly rent. If you are not sure how to speak politely look it up on YouTube. The stove, rugs and horizontal surfaces are required to be cleaned by the tenant. If I ever saw a clean stove I would be amazed. An entire generation of people that have never had a close encounter with a rag, soap and bucket coupled with effort and hard work.

    Oh did you set up an inspection day before you moved in or did you just leap into the apartment because your busted up life and living in a car were too much for you to handle? You are a problem right out of the gate: no references, no employment and no solid payment history and you have the nerve to complain about your apartment. Don’t worry from the sound of it you are headed to a new place: a Rhode Island ACI nearest you. Had you kept your mouth shut, paid your rent on time for a year and looked around you would have a good reference, instead you chose the route of a tubesteak opportunist and now want to fight with everyone.

    Good luck. Please post your inmate number to TB, so we can all have a good laugh.

    TB, I’m surprised. I think you got this one wrong, way the f wrong.

    • 2wEntEe
      March 6, 2018 at 5:45 pm

      Regardless of state laws, there is NO excuse, no reason.. under ANY circumstances to have exposed electrical like that.

      You may be right about the pine sol, but if a child can get electrocuted from bumping into a wall then clearly the problem is much deeper than a dirty stove top.

    • idiots everywhere (or the landlord under different names )
      March 8, 2018 at 9:07 pm

      YOU HAVE NO CONCEPTION OF THE LAW. There’s no major “Mass” and “Rhode Island” housing differences legally, just landlords who follow the law and tenants who are informed.

      Both states have an implied warranty of habitability; this place is not habitable. I hate when people act like they know “differences” and the laws, and in reality they’re dumbasses talking out of their ass. I guess it, not everyone goes to law school, welllll don’t speak about stuff you don’t know. I don’t speak about electronics or engineering or medical, so you: stay out of tenants legal rights.

  • Harry Wrister
    March 6, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    LANAHHHHH! ILana, got some nice hanging fruit. My my my my my. Everybody look away now, opps, not you Illie, please keep looking at me, yeah that’s it, thatta girl. Keep keep keep argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh. “splatz” That’s a landlord for sure. My honey. Picts on the ceiling for keeperz. 😉 0:

    • ElJefe72
      March 6, 2018 at 7:24 pm

      You’re absolutely right. If I had done an inspection on this apartment, I would have immediately been drawn to the damaged and missing outlets, followed closely by the water-damage ceiling (indicating a bad leak above).

      • ElJefe72
        March 6, 2018 at 7:27 pm

        Oops, that post was meant to be in response to 2wEntEe above.

    • Facts Facts everywhere
      March 6, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      Covers were off the outlets and switches so they could paint .. took 2 mins to put them back on .

  • Whinebeater
    March 6, 2018 at 3:58 pm

    Oh my friggin God the whining. Please stop. Did you go to WHA, or HUD? Good. Then let them seal. This gets you no money. We are all broke. All live in shittastic woony. Suck it up butter cup.
    Turtleboy…seriously? You are posting this crap now? What happened to this site man? Whiny Woonsocket rockets who get evicted and have buyers remorse? Gotta be better things to write about.

  • Betty
    March 6, 2018 at 3:45 pm

    Umm…they live there now? Then stop whining. You moved in. Let what’s her name fix it and stop playing “poor me life’s not fair”.
    You can afford $1400 a MONTH? Then WTF are you doing in Woonsocket? If you can afford that, it’s your own fault for renting that place. I don’t care if she said she’d fix it up. You should have found another place if it looked that had. It was not a shocker.
    These whiney crybabies go everywhere wanting a handout. $10 she has a GoFundMe page soon. Be an adult.

    • gfldgadfly
      March 6, 2018 at 9:09 pm

      The $1400 would be last and security (one month each). That’s a $700 rat hostel. I’ve been a landlord in MA. That’s the normal deposit. Sure tenants are a ton of work, and I got tired of hanging drywall over and over and converted my multi to a single family after paying down my mortgage for the first ten years… but that is INEXCUSABLE even for $50 a week!

  • Stunt Penis
    March 6, 2018 at 3:44 pm

    The apartment could look like a suite at Mar Largo, and by the time the tenants are done with it, it will look like downtown Beruit.

    Water seeks its own level, as they say, and trash will always be trash.

    Ain’t worth fixing up a place only to have it trashed, again.

    • Betty
      March 7, 2018 at 12:26 am

      My bad. They kept saying $1400 so I ASSumed. But that lady offered to give back deposit. So whiner only needs $700. But she moved in…So..

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    March 6, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    No blame goes to the slobs who trashed the place prior?

  • truth
    March 6, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    It looks like every Woonsocket apartment. Looks like one of the better areas.

    • Marnie
      March 6, 2018 at 3:39 pm

      Right?

  • 2wEntEe
    March 6, 2018 at 3:12 pm

    A landlord is a business owner and when you own a business, making your customers happy needs to be your #1 priority.
    If that’s too much to handle then get your tits out of that railing and sell the property.

    • Thots thots everywhere
      March 6, 2018 at 3:31 pm

      The landlord is in a different state .. she’s just the property manager

    • Marnie
      March 6, 2018 at 3:52 pm

      Then let them fix it up instead of blocking and assaulting repair people.
      And a Landlord in Woonsocket? If they refunded rent every time a tenant whined? They would all be broke.
      They offered the security back. They moved in So why give rent back? They are fixing it up.

  • Illiana-muscle Man
    March 6, 2018 at 3:01 pm

    The stupid thing is, with apartments like this, you get complaints after complaints. Someone is always going to be chasing you do fix shyt. Those damages aren’t wallet killing. If she got many properties, her overhead is probably quite low. Fix those odds and ends, probably take “your maintenance guy,” all of a day or two to fix any given apartment. With fixed up apartments, the fixes are farer and in between. You have satisfied tenants and satisfied tenants tend to pay more on time. I like her hoobas, man I would Bulgarian Muscle Fuck those bad boys until Homie blow up and shit himself, but I can do so honey, if Yoo’ a slum lordie. So please, please , for the sake of your knockers and my throbbin 7.73″ shaft, fix these dumps up so we can get down to what really matters. 😉

    • Thots thots everywhere
      March 6, 2018 at 3:19 pm

      You actually make some good points .. she is a very succesful property manager with a ton of properties .. its winter ..pipes freeze sidewalks need to be shoveled and salted .. heat kept working in the apartments that have tenants in them .. it would only take her people a couple days to get things fixed up .. if they were allowed in to work ..these violations dont count for anything if the tenant is trying harder to have a turtleboy story then to have a decent place for her kids .. priorities

  • Marnie
    March 6, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    These renters are living in the apt. Moved in. The manager has fixed A LOT of the issues. They would get more fixed if they allowed the repairman in and did not assault them. Twice today people tried to fix the heat, stove etc…They won’t let them.
    The security deposit was offered back. They said no they need a place to live and moved in. So what else can be done but fix it up? The tenants won’t let it happen as this Drama is better than a fixed apartment. I have Zero skin in this game. I am not friends with any of them. But I rent. I am tired of white trash renters driving up prices for the rest of us.
    Either get out of the apartment…or let them fix it. Period. Choose one. The renters can play social media games. But the police are now involved(which is how I know what’s going on) and they are not amused. They do not give 2 craps as to who landlord is. They are running an investigation because stalking, threats, saying you will kill them with an extension cord, etc is ridiculous.
    I love social media. But one sided stuff like this is the issue. Where are the pics of the fixed apt? I’ve seen them.

    • Marnie
      March 6, 2018 at 3:03 pm

      More new picts of apt I should say.

  • Magules13
    March 6, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    I wanna see the new pics of the ceiling 

  • Thots thots everywhere
    March 6, 2018 at 2:46 pm

    I actually know the facts on this situation .. you had to flip a coin i guess but it landed wrong .. the thot mom begged to move in before the 1st and understood that the apartment wasn’t ready yet .. the property manager did her a favor .. as they say no good deed goes unpunished .. there is a video the cum dumpster posted that shows her entering the apartment on the 1st .. the cat is in the house and she points out that it “does have food and she isn’t letting it starve like they say” well if you moved in on the 1st when did they have time to say you have been starving your pussythot? … if you are lying about some of this why should we believe any of it? .. how do you do work on an apartment so its ready for the 1st when the person is already in the apartment and not letting people work? … you got fooled .. team turtleboy just got played .. just like the councilman

    • Love when idiots look for pity
      March 8, 2018 at 9:01 pm

      Awwwh , I love how offended people who know the landlord get! When in reality, the law is offended at the way the tenant was treated. Disgusting. Nice to know it bothers Ilanna to have her dirty laundry put on display.

  • Tig ole biddies.
    March 6, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    Iliana’s got emm. I’d move in between. And pay hourly.

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