WTF

Worcester And Competing Crack Dens Ranked Top 10 Places To Live-Work In Massachusetts

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A website called Zippia.com does these Top 10 click bait headlines a lot. Today on the Facebook machine I saw that some people had share this one about the 10 Best Cities in Massachusetts To Achieve Work-Life Balance….whatever that means. All you really had to do was look at their list to see what a joke it was:

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Alright first of all, North Amherst isn’t a municipality, any more than the West Side of Worcester is. Secondly, most of the fact that most of these cities are on a list of best places to achieve a “work-life” balance is laughable. There is nothing about Brockton, Holyoke, Springfield, Lynn, or New Bedford that says, “life” or “work.” More than likely if you live in these places for too long, your life will be short. But luckily, you will never have to work. That’s why seven of these places made our Top 21 Biggest Dumps In Massachusetts blog.

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They went on to explain how they came up with it, but it doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that Lawrence is ranked #1. If it weren’t for the inclusion of Amherst and Wellesley, this would be a solid list for the best places to get stabbed by a crackhead.

New rule – only Turtleboy is allowed to make lists like these. We don’t use data or meaningless numbers to determine what is and isn’t the dumpiest or nicest places to visit. We just use the old fashioned eye test when we visit these places on our Tour de Turtle series. A lot of people hate on the Tour de Turtle because they think we’re trying to demean certain communities. Wrong. We are simply trying to counterbalance the misinformation you’re getting from outlets like Zippia.com.

Coming on tonight’s Tour de Turtle bone ride series, we took a trip up to the North Shore today – Lynnfield, Peabody, Saugus, Lynn, Nahant, Swampscott, Marblehead, Salem, Beverly, and Danvers. Tune in later if you wanna see what a real list looks like. Spoiler alert – Lynn isn’t a nice place to do anything.

 

 

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7 Comment(s)
  • Nanny
    January 27, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    Gee, you’d think that in a progressive blue state the municipalities would be above corruption. It’s not like it’s a multiparty state!

  • Del Griffith
    January 27, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Colrain didn’t make the top ten live-work list? WTF? A serious oversight on their part

  • Fatfinger Lou
    January 27, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    Mrs. Fatfigure and I once considered living in Salem. It’s Halloween year round! Yeah, they have the nice Peabody Museum, a National Park waterfront, the House of Seven Gables, some nice restaurants and bars, but go a few blocks away and bring your favorite weapon. There are many professional dirtbags waiting for tourists and newcomers. The smell of fresh fish is you!

  • Sven
    January 27, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Your rankings shall be (from shittiest to most decent/least stainless steel appliances per capita to most per capita):
    Lynn
    Beverly
    Salem
    Peabody
    Saugus
    Danvers
    Nahant
    Swampscott
    Marblehead
    Lynnfield

    I have bone cruises thru Mass like its my job.

  • DANNY
    January 27, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    BROCKTON THE CITY OF MAD DOGS

  • Djsal Tnuts
    January 27, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    Lynn Lynn,city of sin. You never come out the way you went in

    • Jafreese
      January 27, 2016 at 7:46 pm

      True story for you. Like 20 years ago some people up there were trying to have the name of the city changed because that little rhyme was giving it a bad name. They were actually trying to change the name to Ocean Park

      A few weeks into it someone published an article in the paper that said “Ocean Park, Ocean Park, don’t go there after dark.” And that was the end of it

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