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Turtleboy just laid some new eggs. Here’s one of our hot new bloggers pumping hot new Turtleboy brand takes….

So while we were out laying some new eggs and planting the turtle seed all across America, we missed this shenanigans that happened at Worcester Tech High School:

So you’ve probably all seen this already. Worcester Tech apparently has “heroes and villains day” on Halloween. So logically this poor kid went home and went as an imaginary villain from an imaginary organization called the “Ku Klux Klan.”

Wait, what’s that? You say the KKK is like, a real villainous organization that exists? Wow, I guess this could probably be considered a sensitive issue. You know – what with the murdering and all. Because apparently being in the KKK is more than just night riding with some old pals and catching up on the good times.

My thoughts on this are pretty simple:

1) High schools should NEVER have organized costume days of any sorts. In my six years as a student at Wachusett High School we never once had dress up and we all survived.

2) This costume was a really, really bad choice, and I feel really, really bad for this poor girl. Because part of being a kid is making dumb decisions a lot. The difference between growing up in the 80’s and now is that all the dumb shit we did in high school wasn’t immediately broadcast for the world to see on Twitter. Those horrific scars are tucked deep inside my turtleboy soul.

3) Technically what this girl did was encouraged by the stupid theme – “superheroes and villains.” Like, what do you think a villain is? They’re the bad guy. Some bad guys are fake, and some are actually real. This was one of the real ones. If someone dressed up as Douchebag Boston Marathon terrorist #2, I couldn’t even be mad at them. That guy is the ultimate villain – a welfare collecting, American hating, privileged scum stain  from Cambridge. If some kid walked in the school with a white backward hat, nasty unconditioned hair, and a backpack, isn’t he just being the ultimate villain? My point, is don’t hate the player, hate the game. This kid was just playing by the rules.

4) Stop blaming it on the parents. I don’t wanna know who this girl is or who her parents are. It sucks for them that they made national news this way. All I know is that, a) the rules were to dress up as a villain, b) parents are often out the door already when their kid goes to school. This isn’t second grade. You don’t drop junior off at the door and kiss him goodbye. Teenagers prefer as little interaction with their parents as possible. I’m 95% sure Mom had no idea this was the outfit of choice that day.

5) Getting dressed up for Halloween sucks, and it’s something that you’re never allowed to grow out of either. Every other aspect of life ends at some point. You grow out of dolls and toys in your late teens. You stop egging houses mid 20’s. But getting dressed up for halloween? You’re stuck with that shit for life. After you turn 22 there should be a general rule that no one can dressed up for halloween anymore. Well, unless you do this….

Best. Costume. Ever. I wish I could grow a beard like that though. Unfortunately when you’re perpetually a 13 year old boy made of stone it’s just not possible.

Anyway, when I wanted a really rationale take on this costume I went to the source for America’s best and brightest – WAAF’s Facebook page!! Let’s check out these hot takes….

“Communist china I guess. No spine. Not one person would stand up for this kid. Everyone apologizes. Shameful.”

Yea, you communist bastards over there at Worcester Tech!!! All this poor girl was trying to do was dress up as her favorite night-riding vigilante, and then you pinkos came in and crushed her creative spirits!! I thought this was AMERICA!!!???

“If you can dress like a Muslim, then why not.”

Yea right on dude. I’m sure if Joe from Lake Ave dressed up as Aqib the local neighborhood Isis terrorist, then the school would say, “Excellent creativity.” And besides that, this guy makes a great point. Isn’t being associated with one of the world’s largest organized religions the EXACT same thing as being a hooded member of America’s most famous in-house terrorist organizations? I fail to see the difference. (insert sarcasm font)

“Freedom of speech. Freedom of religion. Besides, if I hate to look at black people’s underwear all day everyday….they can dress the same way we want, so can we.”

Holy fucksmoke, what year is this? You know what my problem with comments like this are? They validate the existence of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. So let me get this logic straight. Some African-American males tend to sag their pants, thus leaving their underwear exposed. And naturally this means that white folks should dress up as hooded Klansman whenever they see fit? Right. That definitely evens the score up I’d say. And white kids NEVER do that.

Ever.

“If a black person dressed up as a black Panther it would be OK and nothing would be said except for praise for expressing part of black history.”

Yea, good point genius. I’m sure the school would be totally cool with this look:

“Exactly but again black afro Americans are the Most racist. Maybe down south this would be called out but in Ma. Come on people..”

Yea, the KKK would NEVER come to a place like Worcester MA in REAL life…

Ever.

Anyway, my question is, what would be an acceptable villain? The Joker? Ummm, hello? That dude killed like, thousands of people when he blew up Heinz Field. The devil? That jagoff is the single biggest reason evil exists. Looten Plunder? Ummm, hello? The guy POLLUTED!!! Plus, he tried to kill Captain Planet and the Planeteers like a billion times.

Anyway, I hope schools across the country were taking notice. Even nationally acclaimed institutions of academic excellence where Obama serves as the graduation speaker can erupt into a national scandal if you let teenagers dress up for Halloween.

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