Nudniks

Freedom Loving Jizz Sponge Cancels Revere Beach Coronavirus Party After Finding Out That It’s Illegal, Still Insists It’s No Big Deal

 

Rumor is that Massachusetts will be having a shelter in place starting Monday, and the National Guard has been called up. But that hasn’t stopped one freedom loving jizz sponge from organizing a party at Revere Beach on March 27.

In fairness, you don’t need a global pandemic to catch a disease at Revere Beach. All you need is $5 and a good attitude and the world is your STD fishbowl.

Meet David Culhane from Milton.

He’s really bummed about Tom Brady and his spring is ruined because he can’t go to the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. And at the end of the explanation for the event he made it clear that this is NOT some sort of joke.

The group has since been removed by Facebook but I wanted to find out if it was legit or not, because there’s no way I’m missing a coronavirus party in Revere Beach. Now all of a sudden he’s claiming it’s a joke, likely because he was contacted that what he’s doing is illegal.

Except based on what his understanding of the virus is, it’s pretty clear that numb nuts here wasn’t joking.

Looks like we’ve got a “muh stats” dude here. Yea guys, if you don’t fear the flu then you shouldn’t fear the Wuhan virus. It’s not like Wuhan virus is much more contagious and deadly, and there’s no vaccine or cure for it yet.

Anyway, people out there who think like this are a dime a dozen unfortunately. It’s not that there’s a difference of opinion. It’s that they’re wrong and they’re hell bent on making sure this crisis never ends. You can make the argument that we shouldn’t be shutting down stores, but saying you wanna throw parties at Revere Beach because “iTs nO wOrSe tHaN tHe fLu” makes you a fucking idiot in need of public shame.

 

Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:




Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

62 Comment(s)
  • Dare Devil Dave
    March 21, 2020 at 6:25 pm

    Dave,
    Prove your toughness:
    1. Go to NYC with a GoPro.
    2. Pick 10 homeless dudes, get within one foot nose to nose, engage each in a 30 sec conversation.
    3. For good measure, go to New Rochelle and lick the hell out of 10 random car door handles parked at a hospital.
    4. Quarantine yourself and give us daily video updates for one week.

    • Billy baggs is that you
      March 23, 2020 at 5:37 pm

      You know I shit you not when I read the title Revere coronavirus party I thought for sure that Billy was behind this but it was somebody else really has actually been quiet lately I haven’t heard you guys right about him at all maybe he’s doing the right thing and what happened to that whore bag tow truck bitch You know I shit you not when I read the title revere coronavirus party I thought for sure that Billy was behind this but it was somebody else really has actually been quiet lately I haven’t heard you guys right about him at all maybe he’s doing the right thing and what happened to that whore bag tow truck bitch? Perhaps they both were diagnosed with COVID-19?

      I’d like to give tow truck who’re a cream pie

  • Philip Landry
    Al Gore's climate crisis hotline
    March 21, 2020 at 10:07 am

    Most of us know what this is.

  • Eddie
    March 21, 2020 at 9:32 am

    Hi Anne, I miss you. xo

  • bill fleming
    VINNY
    March 21, 2020 at 9:12 am

    Rachael Rollins has already decided Trespassing is not a crime so what can the police do issue a stern warning? Wait till it gets hot and the beaches in Revere and South Boston are overrun by MS13 and the other gang bangers . Time to sit back eat some popcorn and watch the film classic the Warriors.

  • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
    Luke Fondleberg
    March 21, 2020 at 3:56 am

    Factual point: There is no cure for influenza, either. It’s a virus which must run its course, after which you either get better or you don’t. As for the flu vaccine, there are around 16(?) (don’t quote my numbers) strains of influenza and the vaccine consists of 4 which a panel of doctors guess are going to be most impactful. Now, I’m no mathemagician, but that seems like 25% odds for success. I choose not to gamble on those odds, especially since Encore is closed and pays out better on those sparse wins.

  • Silencio Dogood
    March 20, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    marketing genius? not it’s not. Caesar’s don’t fear Revere or the Chinese virus, and i reckon that 90% of this particular population gets its news from online sites with the extension .ru tacked on the end. next up for Culhane, 5¢ Coronas served in snotty Petri dishes.

  • Judge dread
    March 20, 2020 at 9:50 pm

    This is not a popular opinion but this is dog shit. Mass hates any type of gatherings esp. “raves“; I’m sure they consider this a rave (despite the scene being dead for 10 plus years). cuz it’s a gathering of people with electronic music playing so it must be bad.

    Back in the heyday of raves guess what raves did? They kept your kids off he streets and from being bored. Would u rather have a bunch of bored kids out on the night in one location or a bunch of kids bored committing crimes?

    I know I’m going to get a lot of down votes but anyone who went to raves 20 years ago knows what I’m saying is 100% is true.

    • Giulia
      March 20, 2020 at 10:58 pm

      I’m in my mid 30’s, went to raves as a teen. I had a lot of good times dancing late into the night. I’m still a fan of some electronic music, latin house, drum&bass, ambient jazz, etc. God… I miss those days of being a kid and being so free. The world is a much different place now though, unfortunately. I get what you’re saying. But I think that if we’re extra careful and all stay inside for a couple weeks, we can keep this thing from spreading. It is more dangerous and contagious than the flu. Yeah, nothing too terrible would happen to most of us if we did catch the coronas, but we don’t wanna inadvertently give it to our parents or other older people that we care about. Who knows, maybe staying home for a couple weeks won’t be so bad. Change… in whichever form it may be, is usually a good thing. Even if we don’t know it yet. Stay well and don’t drink too much Judge 😉

      • George
        March 21, 2020 at 5:38 am

        Rave Fag

      • Judge dread
        March 22, 2020 at 5:43 pm

        For me techno, dark dnb and tech step dnb, all that music. Oh yah this track is bad ass: Dj kicks: kemistry and storm. 1999 style.

        • Giulia
          March 22, 2020 at 9:57 pm

          Kicks Kem&Storm… I def used to have that CD way back. Reminds me of DJ Shadow but sped up. You’re probably not into jazzy stuff… but if you know anyone that is, like someone that mixes tracks themselves… there’s this old jazz horn song by Donald Bryd called Cristo Redentor. It’s bad ass and overlooked. I’d love to hear someone do something electronic with it. I used to bartend and manage a bar when I was in my 20’s and knew a lot of DJs. But I’ve lost touch with them over the years. I miss the days of being able to drink at work 😉

          • Judge dread
            March 26, 2020 at 12:15 am

            Nice. Yah also those countless nights at he Phoenix landing. Word to dnb and more importantly word to the scene in Boston that used to exist, despite Phoenix. My friend and I played live pa techno in nyc and Boston, granted it was 10 years ago, but good times indeed!

          • Judge dread
            March 26, 2020 at 12:25 am

            Full hardware @ 60,000 watts. I didn’t realize how intense it was until I walked out onto the dance floor for about 30 seconds. All live off he board:
            Hardware:
            Akai MPC 2500
            Jomox 888
            Access Virus TI
            Moog Slim Phatty
            MAM MB33 MKII (303 Clone)
            MAM Analog Kick Module
            TC Electronics M350
            Alesis Multiverb
            DBX Compressor
            TC Electronics Finalizer
            Mackie 1604
            Yamaha 01V

            We did not fuck around.provide ce, Boston, nyc

  • You suck tb
    March 20, 2020 at 8:27 pm

    TB you ignorant asshole this guy is right
    This should be a fuck you to that asshole Charlie baker and the rest of the liberal turd politicians in this state
    You need to get your head out of your ass and do some soul searching about your perversions and the loss of your teaching job asshole

    • A woman scorned
      March 20, 2020 at 8:51 pm

      Hi Bristol!!!!

    • Ray Patriarca
      Hi Bristol!
      March 20, 2020 at 9:43 pm

      Get fucked, you malignant hook- nosed cunt!

  • A Nice Warm Bowl Of Wuhan Market Bat Soup
    March 20, 2020 at 8:21 pm

    Looks like he is feasting on a tasty Revere Beach Seagull leg.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      March 21, 2020 at 11:45 pm

      I prefer the cobra nuggets and the chilled monkey brains

  • The Shipwreck Lounge
    March 20, 2020 at 8:11 pm

    Cant we all just get along?????

  • Groucho Marx
    March 20, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    David, I want my fucking eyebrows back!!!

  • Ray Patriarca
    Douglas MacArthur's ghost
    March 20, 2020 at 6:25 pm

    This chud is like those silly fucks down in Florida celebrating Spring Break. Totally clueless. Invincible in their youth. Vapid in their intellect. Selfish, self-important and in need of instant gratification to the detriment of others.
    In other words, Generation Z.
    We are fucked !
    If this Generation existed in 1940, we’d be eating saurkraut and schnitzel and washing it down with sake.

    • WeRFucked
      March 20, 2020 at 6:27 pm

      I told ya!

  • Father Stinkfinger
    March 20, 2020 at 6:00 pm

    He looks exactly like one of those dolls they use so a kid can point to where the priest touched him.

  • Pants Shitter
    March 20, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    I went to school with him he passed out and shit himself at a party one night, and then walked home in the morning still drunk and the whole back of his pants were covered in shit and he didnt even realize it lol

    • Renny
      March 20, 2020 at 8:29 pm

      Pants

      Your mother shit her pants the other night after I emptied my balls down her throat

      • Jenny
        March 20, 2020 at 11:46 pm

        Your into scat with his mother? that’s gross.

  • Fuck 'em
    March 20, 2020 at 5:05 pm

    So many americans are such spoiled little cunts it makes me want to puke. Even if this was a joke, there’s plenty of people who feel that way and are dead serious (though I wish they were seriously dead).

  • Billy McFarland
    March 20, 2020 at 5:04 pm

    Can’t blame a dude for trying to get laid. Any of my fellow millennials want a luxury grilled cheese served right to your luxury army cot?

  • PO’d RN
    March 20, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    Thank you for this! I called him out and got called “high and mighty” AND a loser. My feelings were real hurt……
    I am a Nurse in a major Boston hospital and was appalled by him and his actions. I called the DPH to report him 🙂

    • Godzilla
      March 21, 2020 at 8:15 am

      You fucking rat

  • Not that bad an idea
    March 20, 2020 at 4:21 pm

    This guy is not that crazy. Experts recommend getting as much sunlight as possible to naturally replenish bodily levels of vitamin D. Low levels of vitamin C weaken the immune system, and those with weakened immune systems are the ones who are dying. See for example Bill Sardi’s article on Lew Rockwell’s website.

    • Vits. D and C
      March 20, 2020 at 4:25 pm

      *Low levels of vitamins D and C

  • Spic Tormentor
    March 20, 2020 at 4:12 pm

    Massachusetts seems like a fun place to have a beach party in March.
    Stick to making drinks, faggot, because your ideas suck and you have nothing to contribute to the real world.

    P.s. 2005 called and wants it’s goatee back.

  • randiguy2006
    Lolz
    March 20, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    “Public health is my business”

    Making fun of ratchets is your business.

    Tool.

  • randiguy2006
    No worries
    March 20, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    Trump had a hunch this wasn’t a big deal.

  • One douche to another
    March 20, 2020 at 3:55 pm

    He needs a punch in the cunt

  • WeRFucked
    March 20, 2020 at 3:53 pm

    What don’t you people understand… this ain’t the flu. This spreads faster and easier. It also has the ability to spread days before you even know you have the virus. Many of you “everyone is overreacting” shit heads are probably carrying the virus right now.

    And when you get it… you’ll say “fuck me, this is 1000 times worse than the flu” …then you’ll die.

    • Truth
      March 20, 2020 at 4:19 pm

      Eat a tampon you bleeding cunt

    • G Ber
      Boomtown
      March 20, 2020 at 4:35 pm

      After seeing “then you’ll die” I gave you a thumbs up.

    • Fed Up
      March 20, 2020 at 7:58 pm

      Death is preferable than living in this clown world another 40 years. Stop the world, I wanna get off.

    • Karl Marx
      March 20, 2020 at 8:33 pm

      We R

      I’m pretty sure your mother is carrying the gonnareah of the throat virus after sucking off the two negroes she met at Encore

    • Youarefuckinstupid
      March 20, 2020 at 11:14 pm

      This is not the fucking end of the world. The morality rate is at 1.4% and that is with minimal testing, if everyone who has or had this virus been tested the mortality rate would be well below 1%. Think about this you fucking retards, there are around 8,000,0000,000 people on Earth and 250,000 people have been confirmed to have this and even if that is underestimated, let’s say 1,000,0000 have or had this virus and a couple of thousand have died, you have better odds playing megabucks than dying from the wuhan virus. Grow the fuck up you fucking pussies.

      • Silencio Dogood
        March 20, 2020 at 11:39 pm

        Mortality. The morality rate is much lower.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    March 20, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    He’s the douchebag that when playing Scrabble he falls into the “Double Letter” “Triple Word” of “Quiz”, scores 126 points and throws it in your face like he’s fucking Hemmingway. I hate that guy. Fuck him.

  • hartf811
    Honest Abe
    March 20, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    Dave please have the party. The quicker you share the virus, the fewer assholes we have to worry about. Of course, since nobody came to your childhood birthday parties, one can assume you will be alone on the beach with a can of Truly in one hand and your pathetic little dick in the other.

  • Lucas McCain
    March 20, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    This POS gets plenty of protein from his life partner’s hog so he feels invincible. Nice backpack cockcleaner, are you in the sixth grade? They should allow these morns to gather, then have hunters shoot them from a helicopter like they do to feral razorbacks down in Texas, the collective I.Q. of the people would skyrocket.

    • Marshal Micah Torrance
      March 20, 2020 at 6:03 pm

      Friend? Who wants friends? I don’t need any friends.
      [picks up a bottle of whiskey]
      This-this is the best friend I got – rides the nightmares right off the range.

      • Corinth Arkadin
        March 21, 2020 at 11:05 am

        That’s an amazing fucking quote, one that I forgot.

        Thanks for reminding me.

  • herme
    March 20, 2020 at 3:44 pm

    Does the 2019 Coronavirus Exist?
    The Coronavirus scare that emanated from Wuhan, China in December of 2019 is an epidemic of testing. There is no proof that a virus is being detected by the test and there is absolutely no concern about whether there are a significant number of false positives on the test. What is being published in medical journals is not science, every paper has the goal of enhancing the panic by interpreting the data only in ways that benefit the viral theory, even when the data is confusing or contradictory. In other words, the medical papers are propaganda. infectiousmyth dot podbean dot com

  • Pissed off American
    March 20, 2020 at 3:42 pm

    The world didnt grind to a halt as millions died from the opioid epidemic. AIDS, SARS, MERS, H1N1…nothing. When a political outsider becomes President of the United States, 3 years of fruitless investigations, then a flu bug happens and everything must grind to a halt. The politicians sell their stock off before the crash. This whole hysteria is political. It’s obvious. The voters are being punished because its obvious Trump was going to win re-election. The plug was pulled on the economy. Millions laid off. If you think the government wouldnt do this to you you’re all fucking clueless.

    • Rochambeau
      Rochambeau
      March 20, 2020 at 5:08 pm

      No. No. No, you fucking retard. This is bad. I’ve been in five combat zones, in excess 25 years of military service, 2 disaster areas in the U.S., and in excess of 20 years of critical care medicine. I’m a regular supporter of this site.

      This is a biological threat to our lives, our nation and our way of life. This virus isn’t targeting ratchets, it’s targeting any host cell anywhere. Mammals, ratchets… even people from Reading. It’s bad. Follow the CDC recommendations. I do. Logarithmic growth is *the* worst case scenario. This is it! #staythefuckhome

      • Keir Darcey
        Rochambeau
        March 20, 2020 at 8:02 pm

        …all drowned out by political theater. The entire opiod epidemic hasn’t quite reached the amount of Civil War dead. But close. But it’s been decades of personal choices. This will eclipse that in 12-18 months. The victims won’t have been given a choice. But fuck me, right? I’m probably just some Russian bot. Good luck.

        • Disgruntled veteran
          March 20, 2020 at 8:35 pm

          You’re the type of veteran that gives us regular veterans a bad name. What they didnt tell you during your separation is that you’re not that specail.

          • Rochambeau
            Rochambeau
            March 20, 2020 at 10:02 pm

            SpEcAiL. Good luck.

          • Rochambeau
            Rochambeau
            March 20, 2020 at 10:23 pm

            Also,

            The M17 or M40 series protective mask costs a lot more than some N95 ‘respirator’. Why is that? Why does some form fitting, reusable device that can do more than filter out just 200 grams of 0.3 microgram particles cost more than an N95 ‘respirator’? Why is that you fucking retarded non-‘specail’st?

          • Arch Stanton
            Veteran No Fucks
            March 20, 2020 at 10:56 pm

            Speaking of M17 masks, I need to chack my storage unit for the extra one I had when I retired.

          • Disgruntled veteran
            March 21, 2020 at 1:42 pm

            Rocha,
            You’re the typical “I’m a veteran” loser. When in reality you most likely just were a paper pusher. Get off your high horse and do everyone a favor and just stfu.
            But, I kinda like you arguing over a type-o, it really shows what a little man you really are.

            Sincerely,
            Every other veteran

            P.S save some of the hero stories for the rest of us.

          • Rochambeau
            Rochambeau
            March 21, 2020 at 2:35 pm

            Disgruntled Veteran,
            Do you know what a logical fallacy is? One of them is the “No True Scottsman’ fallacy where one individual attempts to support their argument my maligning another person with, “They’re not a true ” So, you get the cool points. It’s not persuasive, but whatever.

            Check out these sites:
            mass.gov/report/2019-2020-season-weekly-flu-reports
            mass.gov/info-details/covid-19-cases-quarantine-and-monitoring

            There are some links for documents. Did you notice the unknown category in the latest weekly influenza report?

            This exponential growth for nCOV-19 is going to result in over a million, maybe two million dead in the U.S. at this rate. So, I’ll keep saying the sky is falling and if I have to cite my experience, even at the risk of sounding remotely douchey, I will. Not many local news sites allow comments, maybe TB will allow these mass.gov links. The bottom line is that I’m trying to persuade people to stay home and limit transmission of COVID-19. The media was way too focused on the impeachment while this was developing in China and ignoring Public Health preparedness for the better part of a decade is probably going result in more dead. Stay safe.

      • Randy
        March 20, 2020 at 8:36 pm

        Rocha beau

        You’re totally full of shit
        The closest you’ve come to a disaster zone was sucking cocks in a back booth at the VFW in Revere

        • Rochambeau
          Rochambeau
          March 20, 2020 at 10:03 pm

          Randy,
          Noted. I’ll quote you.

        • hartf811
          Shut up Randy
          March 21, 2020 at 8:19 am

          Randy. Really? Somebody is really named Randy?

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron