Coyote Tries To Eat Delicious Toddler So Bad Ass New Hampshire Dad Has No Choice But To Choke A Bitch To Death
Ya know what we haven’t done in a while? Hero of the week. And it’s gotta go to this…
A Bunch Of Local Police Departments Played Santa For A 4 Year Old Leominster Kid Whose Mother Was Killed By Some Queef In A Flat Brimmed Bulls Hat
Last month we published the downer story about a flat brimmed hat douchetrain from Athol who was arrested for…
Vote For Turtleboy To Be The Cohost Of The Gerry Callahan Podcast Launching January 6
If you listened to the Kirk Minihane Show yesterday you heard Gerry Callahan on there breaking the news about…
Lorrayna Calle Doesn’t Get To See Her Kids On Christmas Because She Poked The Turtle
Great news out of Fitchburg today (you don’t hear that very often): The crazy, evil cunt won’t be seeing…
The Best Way To Show Someone You Love Them Is Buy Getting Them Santa Turtleboy’s 2019 Naughty List In Paperback Or EBook On Amazon For Christmas
Breaking News – the Santa Turtleboy’s 2019 Naughty List has been published on Amazon and is available for purchase…
Cumpty Dumpty’s “Fiance” Died 6 Months After He Robbed A Veteran Who Was In The Hospital Having Legs Amputated And Now She’s Raising Money After Sitting With His Dead Body For 3 Hours
Remember that awful story back in April about the veteran/burn victim who in Marlborough who lost both legs in…
Turtleboy Is Collecting Gift Cards From Local Restaurants To Donate To The Family Of Worcester Firefighter Jason Menard After Napoli’s Deli Got The Ball Rolling
Turtleboy has a big platform and a lot of viewers, and as much as we all enjoy ratchet shaming,…
Ryan Baldera Died A Goddamn Hero By Getting Rid Of A Deadly Chemical Accident Spill At Burlington Buffalo Wild Wings
WBZ: The employee who died after a chemical incident at a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in Burlington has been identified as 32-year-old…
We need 3 Contestants To Come On Turtleboy Live For Our First Installment Of Around The Turtle
Tomorrow on the live show I wanna try something different. Got this idea from backup producer Dave Cullinan. Have…
Hundreds Of Minifans And Turtle Riders Unite For Kirk Minihane-Bob Murchison Peace Vigil, Murchison No Shows, Some Argue That This Is A Cult
Today was supposed to be a day for peace, love, and unity in the town of Sherborn. It was…
Yes, I Will Be At The Bob Murchison-Kirk Minihane Prayer Vigil In Sherborn Tomorrow
Some people have asked if I’ll be at the Bob Murchison-Kirk Minihane prayer vigil at the Sherborn peace abbey…
Five Years After The Worst Day Of My Life Turtleboy Is Still Here And Degenerate Buffalo Blogger James Kriger Is A Homeless Alcoholic Running From Creditors
Five years ago today was the lowest point of my life. It was my last day as a teacher,…
Meet My Good Friend Proto, The Crazy MotherF*cker Who Wants To MAGA By Triggering Liberals On I-195 By Climbing The Area’s Most Structural Unsound Piece Of Crap Bridge To Fly A Trump Flag
As you may or may not know, I’m not a huge fan of President Donald J. Trump. Sorry, just not…
We Received Some Unsolicited Support From A Mystery Group Of “Grey Hat” Hackers, And What They Are Capable Of Is Glorious, Awe-Inspiring And Terrifying To Me All At Once
This back-and-forth with Josh Abrams and every single irrelevant half-wit that attaches to him appears to be winding down (thank…
Mark Your Calendars: Uncle Turtleboy And I Will Be In Taunton On September 21st To Support Veteran Suicide Prevention, And We Want You To Come Join Us
What are you doing during the day on Saturday, September 21st? Grocery shopping, housework, sleeping off a bender? Perhaps…
Juicy Jasiel “Get Money, Fuck Bitches” Shirts Now Available In The Turtleboy Store
Breaking News – Juisy Jasiel Correia “Get Money, Fuck Bitches” shirts are now available in the Turtleboy store by clicking…
I’ll Be Interviewing About The Jennifer Panagakos Lawsuit On WBSM Radio New Bedford Tomorrow At 9:30 AM
Tomorrow at 9:30 AM I’ll be doing an interview on AM 1420 WBSM Radio in New Bedford…
Dear Slobberino Who Sent Me A Descriptive Death Threat With An Armored Piercing Bullet And Ratchet Fingernails – I’m Not Scared Of You
As you know, I get death threats a lot. People don’t like the things that we say, so instead…
Millionaire Michael Panagakos Uses Vulgarity In Promise To Financially Destroy Turtleboy In Lawsuit, Calls Other Defendant “Slut,” Gets Favorable Coverage From The Standard Times
As many of you know, we’re now 5-0 in libel lawsuits, but we’ve been reimbursed for $0 in court…
Back To School Special! 6 Pieces Of My Completely Unqualified F.U.P.A – Free, Unsolicited Parenting Advice
With a few days before labor day and September rolling in, for those of us with crotch fruit age 6…
