Ratchet Madness 2020 Round 1: Fupasloth Region
Instructions: Vote for which ratchet you think should advance to the second round. Links to their stories are bolded…
The 2020 Ratchet Madness Bracket Is Officially Here And It’s Arguably The Most Ratchet Field Yet
If you missed the Ratchet Madness Selection Show Thursday night, I got you covered. Let’s take a look at…
Vote For Which Tiger King Meme Best Represents The Shitholes Featured
Like many of you, I binged watched the Tiger King and it was one of those shows you just…
Bristol’s Harassment Order Against TB Was Denied And Her Entourage Trio Of Ratchets Got Kicked Out Of The Courtroom
Breaking News – Disgraced former blogger Kate “Bristol” Peter’s harassment order against me was DENIED in Attleboro District court…
Hell Freezes Over: Leigha Genduso Is My Special Guest On The Live Show Tonight
Breaking News: My special guest for the Live Show podcast tonight, brought to you by our good friends over…
Some Butthurt Started A Petition To Boycott Turtleboy So A Turtle Rider Created A Petition To Boycott The Boycott
Breaking News: Someone started a Change.org petition to shut down Turtleboy: I have an idea who did this, but…
I Confronted Bucket Boy At His Job At The Market Basket Deli, And He Hid In The Back Crying About Harassment, South Shore Justin Is Horrified By Our Past Antics
Last night’s show went off the rails really quickly, even for us. Justin’s reaction sums everything up pretty nicely right…
Coyote Tries To Eat Delicious Toddler So Bad Ass New Hampshire Dad Has No Choice But To Choke A Bitch To Death
Ya know what we haven’t done in a while? Hero of the week. And it’s gotta go to this…
A Bunch Of Local Police Departments Played Santa For A 4 Year Old Leominster Kid Whose Mother Was Killed By Some Queef In A Flat Brimmed Bulls Hat
Last month we published the downer story about a flat brimmed hat douchetrain from Athol who was arrested for…
Vote For Turtleboy To Be The Cohost Of The Gerry Callahan Podcast Launching January 6
If you listened to the Kirk Minihane Show yesterday you heard Gerry Callahan on there breaking the news about…
Lorrayna Calle Doesn’t Get To See Her Kids On Christmas Because She Poked The Turtle
Great news out of Fitchburg today (you don’t hear that very often): The crazy, evil cunt won’t be seeing…
The Best Way To Show Someone You Love Them Is Buy Getting Them Santa Turtleboy’s 2019 Naughty List In Paperback Or EBook On Amazon For Christmas
Breaking News – the Santa Turtleboy’s 2019 Naughty List has been published on Amazon and is available for purchase…
Cumpty Dumpty’s “Fiance” Died 6 Months After He Robbed A Veteran Who Was In The Hospital Having Legs Amputated And Now She’s Raising Money After Sitting With His Dead Body For 3 Hours
Remember that awful story back in April about the veteran/burn victim who in Marlborough who lost both legs in…
Turtleboy Is Collecting Gift Cards From Local Restaurants To Donate To The Family Of Worcester Firefighter Jason Menard After Napoli’s Deli Got The Ball Rolling
Turtleboy has a big platform and a lot of viewers, and as much as we all enjoy ratchet shaming,…
Ryan Baldera Died A Goddamn Hero By Getting Rid Of A Deadly Chemical Accident Spill At Burlington Buffalo Wild Wings
WBZ: The employee who died after a chemical incident at a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in Burlington has been identified as 32-year-old…
We need 3 Contestants To Come On Turtleboy Live For Our First Installment Of Around The Turtle
Tomorrow on the live show I wanna try something different. Got this idea from backup producer Dave Cullinan. Have…
Hundreds Of Minifans And Turtle Riders Unite For Kirk Minihane-Bob Murchison Peace Vigil, Murchison No Shows, Some Argue That This Is A Cult
Today was supposed to be a day for peace, love, and unity in the town of Sherborn. It was…
Yes, I Will Be At The Bob Murchison-Kirk Minihane Prayer Vigil In Sherborn Tomorrow
Some people have asked if I’ll be at the Bob Murchison-Kirk Minihane prayer vigil at the Sherborn peace abbey…
Five Years After The Worst Day Of My Life Turtleboy Is Still Here And Degenerate Buffalo Blogger James Kriger Is A Homeless Alcoholic Running From Creditors
Five years ago today was the lowest point of my life. It was my last day as a teacher,…
Meet My Good Friend Proto, The Crazy MotherF*cker Who Wants To MAGA By Triggering Liberals On I-195 By Climbing The Area’s Most Structural Unsound Piece Of Crap Bridge To Fly A Trump Flag
As you may or may not know, I’m not a huge fan of President Donald J. Trump. Sorry, just not…
